Crimsonland isn’t a game anyone needs to play, but there’s a lot of fun to be had with this simple twin-stick shooter. If you enjoy games like Geometry Wars, Binding of Isaac, or Vampire Survivors, and you’re looking for something new, Crimsonland is a great title to check out (especially if you can pick it up on sale.)
Hordes of monsters fill the screen as the player character, whom I assume is some kind of space marine — let’s call him Dude Guy — attempts to survive the onslaught using whatever weapons, powerups, and bonuses RNGeezus spawns nearby. Dude Guy walks at a concerningly casual speed as they blast baddies with weapons like an assault rifle, a shotgun that fires ion rounds that bounce from enemy to enemy, a semi-automatic rocket launcher, or just a little ol’ blowtorch. As Dude Guy tries to survive, they level up and you get perks to help deal more damage or move faster than a brisk walk.
There are various survival modes to play, like one where Dude Guy must survive with only bomb pickups and no weapons, to compliment a standard survival mode that uses all the weapons and perks unlocked up to that point.
In order to unlock said weapons and perks, you’ll need to play through the game’s Quest mode, which tasks Dude Guy with blastin’ his way through 60 levels of aliens, zombies, big honkin’ spiders, and lizard people. Why are these creatures attacking? Why are they working together? You’ll have to finish the missions to — nah, just kidding. There’s no story here. That’s not why you, the developers, or Dude Guy showed up for this massacre. You’re all here, because one of this game’s weapons is a plasma shotgun and there’s a horde of laser(?) spitting spiders you need to introduce to it.
What I like about Crimsonland
• It’s good dumb fun. Controller in hands. No thoughts in head.
• When Dude Guy inevitably gets overrun by a bunch of demon-aliens or whatever, the overly prolonged death yell-groan is a Perfect 10 schlock scream. It could easily be something pulled out of a Troma Entertainment flick.
• Oh! I didn’t even mention the co-op mode. It’s a pretty fun thing to do with a friend while you’re shooting the shit (pun not intended), and just want something simple to play.
Why you might want to skip Crimsonland
• There’s a shit load of spiders on screen at one time in about a quarter of the Quest mode.
• There’s a spider enemy type that, when you kill it, it splits into two more spiders. And then, when you kill one of those spiders, it also splits into two more spiders. And it keeps happening. You think, “This has got to be the last time it happens,” but it isn’t. It happens at least two more times after that.
Hordes of monsters fill the screen as the player character, whom I assume is some kind of space marine — let’s call him Dude Guy — attempts to survive the onslaught using whatever weapons, powerups, and bonuses RNGeezus spawns nearby. Dude Guy walks at a concerningly casual speed as they blast baddies with weapons like an assault rifle, a shotgun that fires ion rounds that bounce from enemy to enemy, a semi-automatic rocket launcher, or just a little ol’ blowtorch. As Dude Guy tries to survive, they level up and you get perks to help deal more damage or move faster than a brisk walk.
There are various survival modes to play, like one where Dude Guy must survive with only bomb pickups and no weapons, to compliment a standard survival mode that uses all the weapons and perks unlocked up to that point.
In order to unlock said weapons and perks, you’ll need to play through the game’s Quest mode, which tasks Dude Guy with blastin’ his way through 60 levels of aliens, zombies, big honkin’ spiders, and lizard people. Why are these creatures attacking? Why are they working together? You’ll have to finish the missions to — nah, just kidding. There’s no story here. That’s not why you, the developers, or Dude Guy showed up for this massacre. You’re all here, because one of this game’s weapons is a plasma shotgun and there’s a horde of laser(?) spitting spiders you need to introduce to it.
What I like about Crimsonland
• It’s good dumb fun. Controller in hands. No thoughts in head.
• When Dude Guy inevitably gets overrun by a bunch of demon-aliens or whatever, the overly prolonged death yell-groan is a Perfect 10 schlock scream. It could easily be something pulled out of a Troma Entertainment flick.
• Oh! I didn’t even mention the co-op mode. It’s a pretty fun thing to do with a friend while you’re shooting the shit (pun not intended), and just want something simple to play.
Why you might want to skip Crimsonland
• There’s a shit load of spiders on screen at one time in about a quarter of the Quest mode.
• There’s a spider enemy type that, when you kill it, it splits into two more spiders. And then, when you kill one of those spiders, it also splits into two more spiders. And it keeps happening. You think, “This has got to be the last time it happens,” but it isn’t. It happens at least two more times after that.