You are too weak.
Enemies take forever to beat.
You can steal enemy attacks; they're all useless.
The game is very slow; no, it doesn't suffer from slowdowns; it just has a lot of sections where absolutely nothing happens.
There's no instant respawn; you die, and you get to the last checkpoint.
There's no way to earn extra lives if you die; it starts all the way from the start.
Do you think this review feels artificially generated? Wait until you see the enemy's patterns.