DirtyMidnighter
1993
Was It Implied That There Were Bloodthirsty Monkeys or Did I Just Make That Up?
This game freaked the hell out of me when I was a kid. And while there's nothing explicitly scary about it, the feeling that you are somewhere you shouldn't be persists. Those puzzles were waaay too hard for a kid! Luckily my dad figured them out for me.
This game freaked the hell out of me when I was a kid. And while there's nothing explicitly scary about it, the feeling that you are somewhere you shouldn't be persists. Those puzzles were waaay too hard for a kid! Luckily my dad figured them out for me.
Who Else Misses The Scholastic Book Fair?
I had completely forgotten about this little piece of edutainment from my EARLY days of gaming. It's not amazing or anything, to be sure, but it DID teach me about the gravitational force of each planet in our solar system. Platforming on Jupiter sucks ass. It's not quite Interstellar, but I think that this was probably my first taste of the Space Dread genre, making me realize that a career as an astronaut was super not in the cards for me.
I had completely forgotten about this little piece of edutainment from my EARLY days of gaming. It's not amazing or anything, to be sure, but it DID teach me about the gravitational force of each planet in our solar system. Platforming on Jupiter sucks ass. It's not quite Interstellar, but I think that this was probably my first taste of the Space Dread genre, making me realize that a career as an astronaut was super not in the cards for me.
If "The Monster Mash" Was A Video Game
As a kid who who loved reading Goosebumps books and other spooky fare, I found this point-and-click-adventure/proto-horror game absolutely enchanting. It's hard to recall if I ever technically finished it but I'm sure I got AN ending of some kind. I just remember it being so scary that a monster could teleport into the same room as you and you would have to appease it or try to run away, lest you become cursed, which was terrifying to the point of needing to turn the game off immediately. I wonder if I would enjoy horror games as much as I do today without this little gem.
As a kid who who loved reading Goosebumps books and other spooky fare, I found this point-and-click-adventure/proto-horror game absolutely enchanting. It's hard to recall if I ever technically finished it but I'm sure I got AN ending of some kind. I just remember it being so scary that a monster could teleport into the same room as you and you would have to appease it or try to run away, lest you become cursed, which was terrifying to the point of needing to turn the game off immediately. I wonder if I would enjoy horror games as much as I do today without this little gem.
1996
The World Was Never The Same
It's hard to explain how significant of a collective cultural moment Pokemon was in 1998. It was an all-encompassing hype monster that took the world by storm and I was right there in the thick of it. Yes, I played the games. Yes, I collected the cards, the toys, the coins, the food products. Yes, I saw the movie 6 times in theaters. And I loved every second of it. The video game that started it all transcends culture, time and existence itself. Pokemon 4ever #1.
It's hard to explain how significant of a collective cultural moment Pokemon was in 1998. It was an all-encompassing hype monster that took the world by storm and I was right there in the thick of it. Yes, I played the games. Yes, I collected the cards, the toys, the coins, the food products. Yes, I saw the movie 6 times in theaters. And I loved every second of it. The video game that started it all transcends culture, time and existence itself. Pokemon 4ever #1.
1997
From the Cradle to the Dam
If my parents had just let me have an N64 like a normal kid instead of necessitating that I go next door to my neighbor's house to play GoldenEye, I probably would have never become so fixated on that which I could not have and therefore, would not have developed what would become a life-long ravenous obsession with video games. This game was goddamn crack cocaine. I couldn't believe that such a beautiful thing could exist. And I think I'm still chasing that high to this day.
If my parents had just let me have an N64 like a normal kid instead of necessitating that I go next door to my neighbor's house to play GoldenEye, I probably would have never become so fixated on that which I could not have and therefore, would not have developed what would become a life-long ravenous obsession with video games. This game was goddamn crack cocaine. I couldn't believe that such a beautiful thing could exist. And I think I'm still chasing that high to this day.
1996
The Real Reason Why Most N64 Controllers Are Sticky
Have you ever played Drunk Driver? It's the game where you have to finish a whole beer during a single race but you can't touch the beer and the controller at the same time. You should try it. It's fun as hell.
The other Mario Karts just don't feel as good as this one does and I don't know why.
Have you ever played Drunk Driver? It's the game where you have to finish a whole beer during a single race but you can't touch the beer and the controller at the same time. You should try it. It's fun as hell.
The other Mario Karts just don't feel as good as this one does and I don't know why.
1997
Kiss, Marry, Kill: This Game, Space Jam, Insane Clown Posse. Go.
Playing this outrageous, violent football game before ever actually watching football led to quite the disappointment later on but oh well.
Spamming the tackle button so your dudes go UGH UGH UGH UGH is peak video games.
Playing this outrageous, violent football game before ever actually watching football led to quite the disappointment later on but oh well.
Spamming the tackle button so your dudes go UGH UGH UGH UGH is peak video games.
1997
Video Games Used To Be So Dumb. I Love It.
Dude, when you die, your monster turns back into a tiny human and they're freakin' nekkid! Hilarious!
The people who bought this port of a console game for $60 probably thought to themselves, "Well look at me now, I can finally finish Rampage World Tour in the comfort of my own home without spending another quarter!", not realizing that with that $60 in quarters, they could have played far more Rampage than any one person needs in an entire lifetime.
Dude, when you die, your monster turns back into a tiny human and they're freakin' nekkid! Hilarious!
The people who bought this port of a console game for $60 probably thought to themselves, "Well look at me now, I can finally finish Rampage World Tour in the comfort of my own home without spending another quarter!", not realizing that with that $60 in quarters, they could have played far more Rampage than any one person needs in an entire lifetime.
Just Make the Shadows of The Empire Movie, Already! What's Your Problem, Disney?
Shadows of the Empire, which was a fully fledged Star Wars marketing cycle minus the movie, is unjustly overlooked nowadays. This would-be Episode 5.5 is absolutely SICK for a number of reasons. It goes deep into the criminal underbelly elements of the original trilogy and features characters like Boba Fett, IG-88 and some freaky green dude named Prince Xizor. Since Han is down for the count in between Empire and Jedi, we get a different renegade gunslinger type named Dash Rendar, a guy so cool he had to be disappeared immediately after the events of Shadows so as not to distract too much from the main event. This game has everything you could want in a Star Wars game in '96: OG trilogy vibes, jet packs, a Hoth stage, a Boba Fett boss battle, space battles, blowing up a Death Star type thing. Yes it's on the N64, so everything looks like garbo by today's standards but man what a time.
Shadows of the Empire, which was a fully fledged Star Wars marketing cycle minus the movie, is unjustly overlooked nowadays. This would-be Episode 5.5 is absolutely SICK for a number of reasons. It goes deep into the criminal underbelly elements of the original trilogy and features characters like Boba Fett, IG-88 and some freaky green dude named Prince Xizor. Since Han is down for the count in between Empire and Jedi, we get a different renegade gunslinger type named Dash Rendar, a guy so cool he had to be disappeared immediately after the events of Shadows so as not to distract too much from the main event. This game has everything you could want in a Star Wars game in '96: OG trilogy vibes, jet packs, a Hoth stage, a Boba Fett boss battle, space battles, blowing up a Death Star type thing. Yes it's on the N64, so everything looks like garbo by today's standards but man what a time.
Ryan Reynolds Simulator
I mean what's there to say? It's Pokemon Red/Blue again, but now with 99.6% more of everyone's favorite fluffy yellow friendo. Before Pikachu was a detective, he captured the heart of the world in a Poke Ball and electro-shocked us with 500 volts of concentrated love. I choose you indeed.
I mean what's there to say? It's Pokemon Red/Blue again, but now with 99.6% more of everyone's favorite fluffy yellow friendo. Before Pikachu was a detective, he captured the heart of the world in a Poke Ball and electro-shocked us with 500 volts of concentrated love. I choose you indeed.
1997
Put Bomberman In Smash, You Cowards
Of all the games I could have played on the GameBoy Color, I chose this obscure thing for some reason. I've always liked Bomberman's design a lot I guess. This game is what some might consider a legit hidden gem. It's a great little 2D platformer that bears more than a passing resemblance to something like Spelunky. It was even good enough to inspire me to create my own series of comic books loosely based on the extended Bomberverse canon. Don't even get me started on that.
Of all the games I could have played on the GameBoy Color, I chose this obscure thing for some reason. I've always liked Bomberman's design a lot I guess. This game is what some might consider a legit hidden gem. It's a great little 2D platformer that bears more than a passing resemblance to something like Spelunky. It was even good enough to inspire me to create my own series of comic books loosely based on the extended Bomberverse canon. Don't even get me started on that.
Utinni!!!
It's funny how utterly terrifying every video game is when you're a child. Even this silly semi-educational droid building Star Wars game spooked the hell out of me because it made you traverse dark, deep passageways below the moisture farms of Tatooine, all the while being hunted by battle-droids who were out to incinerate you. Now that I say it out loud, that still sounds like a nightmare.
It's funny how utterly terrifying every video game is when you're a child. Even this silly semi-educational droid building Star Wars game spooked the hell out of me because it made you traverse dark, deep passageways below the moisture farms of Tatooine, all the while being hunted by battle-droids who were out to incinerate you. Now that I say it out loud, that still sounds like a nightmare.
1999
I Still Can't Believe This Game Boy Color Game Featured Rumble
HOT TAKE ALERT:
Pinball sucks! Or maybe I just suck at it! Either way, this novel little game was a source of endless frustration for me. This was a decisive step into the era of my Pokemon fandom being tested to its limit.
HOT TAKE ALERT:
Pinball sucks! Or maybe I just suck at it! Either way, this novel little game was a source of endless frustration for me. This was a decisive step into the era of my Pokemon fandom being tested to its limit.
1997
Having a Blast
Everyone has a moment in life where they get to call themselves the hero. For me it was when I installed this strange-looking-but-not-a-knockoff Bomberman game onto my entire middle school computer network to enjoy what were essentially my first multiplayer LAN parties during class. But the real kicker was hearing that the game was still being played by students years later, after I had moved on to high school. The knowledge that I was helping younger generations slack off and enjoy hilariously tense sudden-death matches voiced by the one and only Billy West filled my heart with pride.
Everyone has a moment in life where they get to call themselves the hero. For me it was when I installed this strange-looking-but-not-a-knockoff Bomberman game onto my entire middle school computer network to enjoy what were essentially my first multiplayer LAN parties during class. But the real kicker was hearing that the game was still being played by students years later, after I had moved on to high school. The knowledge that I was helping younger generations slack off and enjoy hilariously tense sudden-death matches voiced by the one and only Billy West filled my heart with pride.
1999
A Less Intimidating Smash
Going back to this game after Ultimate is super weird because it doesn't even seem like the same series. It's murderously slow and plodding by comparison with a severely limited roster and a mere sliver of the features that would appear in the sequels. And yet, it's still the best one to bust out at a party because it's incredibly FUN. Before Smash Bros became serious sports, it was a goofy party game.
Going back to this game after Ultimate is super weird because it doesn't even seem like the same series. It's murderously slow and plodding by comparison with a severely limited roster and a mere sliver of the features that would appear in the sequels. And yet, it's still the best one to bust out at a party because it's incredibly FUN. Before Smash Bros became serious sports, it was a goofy party game.