“Hey, you. Yeah, you, kid. C'mere a second. No no, don't walk away. I wanna show you something. Step out of the light for a sec. Just trust me. Nobody else with you, right? Okay, check this out. You're gonna love this.
You like swords? You seem like a kid who likes swords. How about magic? How about dragons? Ooh, I saw that glint in your eye. ‘Course you like dragons. Who doesn’t, am I right? Well, what if I told you that I had a game that has swords, and magic, and dragons. Sometimes all three at once. Eh? That got your interest?
Hey, where are you going?! What, you – you already have Skyrim? Who’s talking about Skyrim here, buddy? That’s so 2011. No, what I’ve got here is something fresh. Something unique. Todd Howard tells you that you can climb mountains? What if I told you that you can climb monsters? Cyclopes, and chimeras, and yeah, you bet yer ass you can climb the dragons too. Does Skyrim have greatswords? It does? Are those swords bigger than your character model? Can you heave those things overhead and swat griffons out of the sky with a single blow? Can you launch somebody else up onto the back of a golem using the flat of your blade like a lacrosse stick? Didn’t think so. You like castin’ spells? We got spells for days. We got fire spells, we got holy spells, we got healin’ spells. We got spells that let you shoot lasers, we got spells that let you conjure storms. We got spells that let you create orbs. I know you magey types like orbs. And what’s more, you can smack these orbs, and then even more orbs come out of them and they home in on enemies and obliterate ‘em. What’s not to love? Or maybe you’re the sneaky type? Maybe you’d rather have a bow and a couple of daggers instead? Put a feather between a bandit’s eyes on Tuesday and use an ogre as a pincushion on Friday? Gotcha covered, mate, don’t worry about it. Like NPCs? Plenty of ‘em. You can talk to ‘em, and maybe you can even woo one of ‘em. Like upgrades? Got a whole system for ya. Like dungeons? Dungeons for days! Weeks, even! And yeah, there’s even a story and stuff too. Plenty of loot, plenty of gear. Everything you could ever want. But you gotta buy soon. This deal ends the second I see a police cruiser stroll down the street. Who knows when you’ll get an opportunity like this again? Just twenty big ones. Ah, yes, an excellent bargain. Here you go, my friend. You’ll not regret it.
Now as you’re playin’ this game, you might notice some slight… Aberrations. Vagaries. Quirks. Maybe your travelin’ companions just won’t shut the hell up. Personally I find ‘em funny, but maybe hearin’ about the specifics of goblin slayin’ just doesn’t hit the same after the thirtieth time. You can toggle that off in a menu, no biggie. Hell, maybe you don’t want friends at all. Lone wolf type, eh? Well, just toss that hanger-on off the nearest cliff. He won’t bother you no more. I do recommend bringing at least one person along, though, cuz uh – you’re gonna need somebody to help carry all your junk around. And besides, they can actually be pretty handy in a scrap, provided you gear ‘em up and give them a stern talkin’ to every now and again. Now, the people you meet are gonna say a lot of stuff. Maybe some of it’s a bit weird, maybe some of it doesn’t make any sense. Just mash through the dialogue, you don’t need to know any of that anyways. I mean, unless you really wanna listen in. I won’t judge ya. Sometimes they can be pretty entertainin’. Just be careful, though. Some of them can get pretty clingy. Careful not to be too friendly with any lonely innkeepers. Be careful about accepting quests, too, especially those escort ones. They won’t be much fun if you don’t do some planning in advance, if you catch my drift. Eh, but what am I talkin’ your ear off for? You got a game to play. Get outta here, kid, go home.”
I really need to stop buying games from strangers in the Denny’s parking lot.
I mean, they were right. Dragon’s Dogma has a ton of positive qualities to it. There are in fact swords, and spells, and dragons, and when all three of those things are onscreen at once it can be terrifically exciting. Unlocking new busted-ass skills and trying them out on towering beasties, clambering to and fro trying to get at their vital bits, all while a triumphant orchestra urges me on… If there’s any one place that Dragon’s Dogma excels, it’s the spectacle of it. Gransys is beautiful and filled with idyllic locales that are stocked to the brim with nasties that want to pull you limb from limb. And that all turns on its head at night and the darkness becomes so thick you could bite it. Seriously, this is one of the few games I’ve played that actually makes night look like night and getting lost out in the woods without your lanterns is absolutely rattling. It’s just a shame the game doesn’t make better use of it (looking at you, Dark Souls II). The abilities available to you range from basic to completely gratuitous and it’s a rare instance where the flashy, devastating moves aren’t horrifically impractical if you know how to use them. There’s a bunch of fun gear to kit out yourself and your pawn with, and the upgrade system has some fun cheats built into it that let you skip the materials grind if you want. The pawn system is a great concept even if the execution is just a little poor, but being able to loan them out and have them learn from their travels is a fantastic idea. The soundtrack is excellent, and the characters can be fun when they’re not just confounding you with endless subplots. Even the base story itself – becoming immortal by having your heart stolen by a dragon who challenges you to retrieve it if you dare – is just so incredibly rad, like something straight out of an experimental metal album. If nothing else, I just like heading out to knock over another cyclops because I never get tired of watching them drop. I’d say Dragon’s Dogma is a guilty pleasure game for me, but I don’t feel guilty about it at all.
And yeah, like any game you might pick up from a seedy-looking merchant, it comes with its fair share of drawbacks. The story starts off strong, with the aforementioned run-in with the dragon providing a perfectly potent motivator. However, everything sandwiched between the opening and the credits feels remarkably aimless, with plenty of characters and concepts being introduced but never really amounting to much of anything. Still, the lore and worldbuilding is strong even where the writing otherwise falters, and if I may freely speak my mind, the ending of Dragon’s Dogma is one of the coolest I’ve ever experienced in a video game. The highest moments tend to be hampered by lots of questionable design choices with regards to mechanics, quests, level design, et cetera, et cetera… But I still had fun. I hear the phrase “diamond in the rough” tossed around with regards to games, but rarely ever do I feel it really suits what it’s applied to. Dragon’s Dogma absolutely is a diamond in the rough. It’s coarse and unpolished and awkward, but when it gleams, it shines. It’s just got such an earnest energy behind it that I can’t help but love it. It regularly goes on sale for dirt cheap so if any part of it looks like it could be your jam, I heavily recommend you give it a shot, even if only to gauge your interest in the upcoming sequel. Do I think there’s a chance that game could stumble as well? Absolutely. But with a foundation this strong, I really want to believe that a second try could be the charm.
You like swords? You seem like a kid who likes swords. How about magic? How about dragons? Ooh, I saw that glint in your eye. ‘Course you like dragons. Who doesn’t, am I right? Well, what if I told you that I had a game that has swords, and magic, and dragons. Sometimes all three at once. Eh? That got your interest?
Hey, where are you going?! What, you – you already have Skyrim? Who’s talking about Skyrim here, buddy? That’s so 2011. No, what I’ve got here is something fresh. Something unique. Todd Howard tells you that you can climb mountains? What if I told you that you can climb monsters? Cyclopes, and chimeras, and yeah, you bet yer ass you can climb the dragons too. Does Skyrim have greatswords? It does? Are those swords bigger than your character model? Can you heave those things overhead and swat griffons out of the sky with a single blow? Can you launch somebody else up onto the back of a golem using the flat of your blade like a lacrosse stick? Didn’t think so. You like castin’ spells? We got spells for days. We got fire spells, we got holy spells, we got healin’ spells. We got spells that let you shoot lasers, we got spells that let you conjure storms. We got spells that let you create orbs. I know you magey types like orbs. And what’s more, you can smack these orbs, and then even more orbs come out of them and they home in on enemies and obliterate ‘em. What’s not to love? Or maybe you’re the sneaky type? Maybe you’d rather have a bow and a couple of daggers instead? Put a feather between a bandit’s eyes on Tuesday and use an ogre as a pincushion on Friday? Gotcha covered, mate, don’t worry about it. Like NPCs? Plenty of ‘em. You can talk to ‘em, and maybe you can even woo one of ‘em. Like upgrades? Got a whole system for ya. Like dungeons? Dungeons for days! Weeks, even! And yeah, there’s even a story and stuff too. Plenty of loot, plenty of gear. Everything you could ever want. But you gotta buy soon. This deal ends the second I see a police cruiser stroll down the street. Who knows when you’ll get an opportunity like this again? Just twenty big ones. Ah, yes, an excellent bargain. Here you go, my friend. You’ll not regret it.
Now as you’re playin’ this game, you might notice some slight… Aberrations. Vagaries. Quirks. Maybe your travelin’ companions just won’t shut the hell up. Personally I find ‘em funny, but maybe hearin’ about the specifics of goblin slayin’ just doesn’t hit the same after the thirtieth time. You can toggle that off in a menu, no biggie. Hell, maybe you don’t want friends at all. Lone wolf type, eh? Well, just toss that hanger-on off the nearest cliff. He won’t bother you no more. I do recommend bringing at least one person along, though, cuz uh – you’re gonna need somebody to help carry all your junk around. And besides, they can actually be pretty handy in a scrap, provided you gear ‘em up and give them a stern talkin’ to every now and again. Now, the people you meet are gonna say a lot of stuff. Maybe some of it’s a bit weird, maybe some of it doesn’t make any sense. Just mash through the dialogue, you don’t need to know any of that anyways. I mean, unless you really wanna listen in. I won’t judge ya. Sometimes they can be pretty entertainin’. Just be careful, though. Some of them can get pretty clingy. Careful not to be too friendly with any lonely innkeepers. Be careful about accepting quests, too, especially those escort ones. They won’t be much fun if you don’t do some planning in advance, if you catch my drift. Eh, but what am I talkin’ your ear off for? You got a game to play. Get outta here, kid, go home.”
I really need to stop buying games from strangers in the Denny’s parking lot.
I mean, they were right. Dragon’s Dogma has a ton of positive qualities to it. There are in fact swords, and spells, and dragons, and when all three of those things are onscreen at once it can be terrifically exciting. Unlocking new busted-ass skills and trying them out on towering beasties, clambering to and fro trying to get at their vital bits, all while a triumphant orchestra urges me on… If there’s any one place that Dragon’s Dogma excels, it’s the spectacle of it. Gransys is beautiful and filled with idyllic locales that are stocked to the brim with nasties that want to pull you limb from limb. And that all turns on its head at night and the darkness becomes so thick you could bite it. Seriously, this is one of the few games I’ve played that actually makes night look like night and getting lost out in the woods without your lanterns is absolutely rattling. It’s just a shame the game doesn’t make better use of it (looking at you, Dark Souls II). The abilities available to you range from basic to completely gratuitous and it’s a rare instance where the flashy, devastating moves aren’t horrifically impractical if you know how to use them. There’s a bunch of fun gear to kit out yourself and your pawn with, and the upgrade system has some fun cheats built into it that let you skip the materials grind if you want. The pawn system is a great concept even if the execution is just a little poor, but being able to loan them out and have them learn from their travels is a fantastic idea. The soundtrack is excellent, and the characters can be fun when they’re not just confounding you with endless subplots. Even the base story itself – becoming immortal by having your heart stolen by a dragon who challenges you to retrieve it if you dare – is just so incredibly rad, like something straight out of an experimental metal album. If nothing else, I just like heading out to knock over another cyclops because I never get tired of watching them drop. I’d say Dragon’s Dogma is a guilty pleasure game for me, but I don’t feel guilty about it at all.
And yeah, like any game you might pick up from a seedy-looking merchant, it comes with its fair share of drawbacks. The story starts off strong, with the aforementioned run-in with the dragon providing a perfectly potent motivator. However, everything sandwiched between the opening and the credits feels remarkably aimless, with plenty of characters and concepts being introduced but never really amounting to much of anything. Still, the lore and worldbuilding is strong even where the writing otherwise falters, and if I may freely speak my mind, the ending of Dragon’s Dogma is one of the coolest I’ve ever experienced in a video game. The highest moments tend to be hampered by lots of questionable design choices with regards to mechanics, quests, level design, et cetera, et cetera… But I still had fun. I hear the phrase “diamond in the rough” tossed around with regards to games, but rarely ever do I feel it really suits what it’s applied to. Dragon’s Dogma absolutely is a diamond in the rough. It’s coarse and unpolished and awkward, but when it gleams, it shines. It’s just got such an earnest energy behind it that I can’t help but love it. It regularly goes on sale for dirt cheap so if any part of it looks like it could be your jam, I heavily recommend you give it a shot, even if only to gauge your interest in the upcoming sequel. Do I think there’s a chance that game could stumble as well? Absolutely. But with a foundation this strong, I really want to believe that a second try could be the charm.