CN: Viral Pandemic, Queer Self Repression, Melodramatic
Recommended Listening (Loop it if you want)
“Life is just like a game, First you have to learn rules of the game, And then play it better then any one else.” -Albert Einstien
If I could go back and change how I elected my votes in the Sights, Sound, and Inputs list it would be very different. At the time I had elected simulations that I had considered to be doing what I specifically want 'videogames' to do. However, when looking at most other peoples lists I realized that there was a degree to which I was misunderstanding the assignment. The point was not which stories are most 'worth telling' but which 'videogames' had a notable impact. If any 'game' has had that impact on the medium, discourse, and understanding of 'videogames', it's League of Legends, because its not 'just a game' to anybody anymore, it's a social misery simulation.
To explain what I mean I feel compelled to share a quite painful personal tale here. I've already spoken about Eco before as a repressive design network of social ridicule, but not how it effected me. Let's do that real quick:
Eco is an MMO I wasted a year of my life (1000 hours) being a 'femboy' in after realizing and wanting to be a girl in my actual life 4 years prior to when I started to play, meaning that I was 'boymoding'. It marked a slow desecration of my own sense of identity and well being into roleplaying as a 'boy' version of myself. I would engage in frivolous in game lawsuits and get caught up in a fun corporate and political 'play' but in order to do so effectively I needed to be on discord. As such this self harming 'femboyification' of myself as a 'Mr. Erato' in various social geriatrics had to be done. Especially due to the fact that the way the instrumental power play effect of patriarchy worked with the game (meaning playing as a boy was nessecary in order to succeed more easily) and there was Voice Chat in the game which while not often used was used enough that being a non-passing girl would send a slew of marginalization at me. I would share my plights and roleplays as a boy, 'Lich', '(Mr.) Erato' etc. My only attempt at playing explicitly as a girl found me being payed pennies by the richest member of the server to suggest ways to raise his 'housing'
This would drift into an ongoing repressive relationship with that text, across many monthly cycles of it, as I became hooked to the socio-economic dope of the (role)play, as it chipped away at the immunity system of ego known as 'esteem'. This happened to such an extent it started to quite actually play a huge factor in compounding on my dysphoric alienation which a couple online lovers I had at the time that I would show my days long 'boymoding' pursuits to. Eventually this alienation played a buzzing dysphoric background element that sabotaged these relationships. The fact that a 'mere videogame' had such a startling impact on my sense of self worth and wellbeing in a mostly repressive sense has sort of compelled my more 'radical' perception recently that the term 'game' itself is dangerous deception in terms. I was 'roleplaying' in Eco. The community and impulse of Eco's inability to accept transwomen like me, or the liberty in different roleplayed beliefs played a serious effect on my long term happiness. While the moment to moment and sharing of stories with others about my experiences felt great, in the long term it made me deeply deeply miserable. The instrumental play that Eco incentivized from me made me deeply unwell.
This sense of deep unhappiness in relationship to a 'videogame' is something we all universally experience as a truth surrounding League. League and toxicity are so embed in the 'gaming community' that to state 'League is toxic' is to express a tautology, it's so inanely synonymous, there's not even a need to say it. This 'game' like a lot of viral infections feels fine at first, and then the ill effects kick in. It's anger inducing, information bloated, communication destroying, marginalizing, and a self esteem killer and the only way you find out is a few weeks later.
It's also 'addicting', people like the moment to moment experience, the haptic feedback of play. Sure, over half of an average game of League is waiting out a snowball of a win or a loss due to some rage inducing set of misplays from a team that compound on itself both in the emotions of unhappiness for everyone involved. Often people feel compelled to fight it out, but most people want it to be over. Yet damn does it feel good to kill somebody with a positional snipe or combo. Or to get a small chance of being the guy that carries the team to victory. These rare moments compel the continuation of play, in spite of it all!
With that said, people still will concede to League's addictiveness and its shittiness. Even the more reactionary and hateful people on the planet will concede this fact. It's compulsory, accepted without question.
"Junk yields a basic formula of ``evil'' virus: The Algebra of Need. The face of ``evil'' is always the face of total need. A dope fiend is a man in total need of dope. Beyond a certain frequency need knows absolutely no limit or control. In the words of total need: ``Wouldn't you?'' Yes you would." - Burroughs, DEPOSITION: Testimony Concerning A Sickness
This is phenomenally important to me. I think League is a vital misery simulation to keep people from thinking that all video games are basically value neutral and have no effect on the player. The impact this one game has on the landscape of gaming discourse as a whole can not be ignored, League of Legends is a discursive vaccination shot for the collective consciousness of 'gaming' with all of the baggage that analogy comes with. Some people thinking such a 'vaccine' should have never happened and others thinking that what its existence is protecting us from doesn't really matter, that its fine to get 'a little sick' from various other strains of long term misery. For these 'gaming anti-vaxxers' the idea is its completely ok to get caught with the viral infection because it causes 'herd immunity'. People will get sick with gaming en masse and that will fix the problem instead of making things worse. League keeps people from being able to accept this lie. If we forget how this felt, we will allow a new pandemic to overtake our minds.
"Subtle viruses are slow, synergic, flexible
and elusive. They execute sensitive behavioural control that prolongs the life of the biomachinic resources,
maximizes opportunities for propogation, infiltrates and
disables hostile security systems, and feeds-back positive -+-++-+-++ in in in innovation technoscience." - Nick Land, Hypervirus
This 1 misery simulator prevents people from being able from truly staying comatose on the issue of the gamification of the world and how it affects health. It could close its servers tomorrow and still be the most important and impactful 'game' ever made. 'Gamers' absolutely deserved this game to happen to them, it was necessary. What's important for all of us is to recognize the distinct number of ways this bred misery, so that we can try not to get trapped in it again and get so infected with a new viral strain. Thank the gods for League tho, it's for gaming discourse what Pasteur's Vaccine inventions are for Medicine!
So that's all that needs to be said! Hey wait, whats this?
"Man has used poisons for assassination purposes ever since the dawn of civilization, not only against individual enemies but also occasionally against armies. However, the foundation of microbiology by Louis Pasteur and Robert Koch offered new prospects for those interested in biological weapons because it allowed agents to be chosen and designed on a rational basis. " - Friedrich Frischknecht, The history of biological warfare
So the recognition of contemporary disease theory also came at a price, what, bioweapons? Ok, but surely the respect for mass vaccination in my analogy holds true, right?
"Let the bodies pile high" - Allegedly Boris Johnson
Whatever that's just some greedy asshole. That has nothing to do with gaming! After all... it's not like the World is a Game... A game. A game?
"Walton Simons: I've received reports of armed attacks on shipments. There's not enough vaccine to go around, and the underclasses are starting to get desperate.
Bob Page: Of course they're desperate. They can smell their death, and the sound they'll make rattling their cage will serve as a warning to the rest. " - Deus Ex
"Capitalism actually works perfectly for what its designed to do. There's a winner and a loser, and though you fancy yourself otherwise - you are a loser" - Purp, Paradigmfetish
I'm feeling light headed for some reason. No I'm fine don't worry I think I just I might have come down with something. I'm going to go lie down for a little while. We can play Some More Games after I wake up...
"Sweepstakes, you're a winner
Sweepstakes, you're a winner
Sweepstakes, you're a winner
Sweepstakes, you're a winner" - Gorillaz, Sweepstakes
Recommended Listening (Loop it if you want)
“Life is just like a game, First you have to learn rules of the game, And then play it better then any one else.” -Albert Einstien
If I could go back and change how I elected my votes in the Sights, Sound, and Inputs list it would be very different. At the time I had elected simulations that I had considered to be doing what I specifically want 'videogames' to do. However, when looking at most other peoples lists I realized that there was a degree to which I was misunderstanding the assignment. The point was not which stories are most 'worth telling' but which 'videogames' had a notable impact. If any 'game' has had that impact on the medium, discourse, and understanding of 'videogames', it's League of Legends, because its not 'just a game' to anybody anymore, it's a social misery simulation.
To explain what I mean I feel compelled to share a quite painful personal tale here. I've already spoken about Eco before as a repressive design network of social ridicule, but not how it effected me. Let's do that real quick:
Eco is an MMO I wasted a year of my life (1000 hours) being a 'femboy' in after realizing and wanting to be a girl in my actual life 4 years prior to when I started to play, meaning that I was 'boymoding'. It marked a slow desecration of my own sense of identity and well being into roleplaying as a 'boy' version of myself. I would engage in frivolous in game lawsuits and get caught up in a fun corporate and political 'play' but in order to do so effectively I needed to be on discord. As such this self harming 'femboyification' of myself as a 'Mr. Erato' in various social geriatrics had to be done. Especially due to the fact that the way the instrumental power play effect of patriarchy worked with the game (meaning playing as a boy was nessecary in order to succeed more easily) and there was Voice Chat in the game which while not often used was used enough that being a non-passing girl would send a slew of marginalization at me. I would share my plights and roleplays as a boy, 'Lich', '(Mr.) Erato' etc. My only attempt at playing explicitly as a girl found me being payed pennies by the richest member of the server to suggest ways to raise his 'housing'
This would drift into an ongoing repressive relationship with that text, across many monthly cycles of it, as I became hooked to the socio-economic dope of the (role)play, as it chipped away at the immunity system of ego known as 'esteem'. This happened to such an extent it started to quite actually play a huge factor in compounding on my dysphoric alienation which a couple online lovers I had at the time that I would show my days long 'boymoding' pursuits to. Eventually this alienation played a buzzing dysphoric background element that sabotaged these relationships. The fact that a 'mere videogame' had such a startling impact on my sense of self worth and wellbeing in a mostly repressive sense has sort of compelled my more 'radical' perception recently that the term 'game' itself is dangerous deception in terms. I was 'roleplaying' in Eco. The community and impulse of Eco's inability to accept transwomen like me, or the liberty in different roleplayed beliefs played a serious effect on my long term happiness. While the moment to moment and sharing of stories with others about my experiences felt great, in the long term it made me deeply deeply miserable. The instrumental play that Eco incentivized from me made me deeply unwell.
This sense of deep unhappiness in relationship to a 'videogame' is something we all universally experience as a truth surrounding League. League and toxicity are so embed in the 'gaming community' that to state 'League is toxic' is to express a tautology, it's so inanely synonymous, there's not even a need to say it. This 'game' like a lot of viral infections feels fine at first, and then the ill effects kick in. It's anger inducing, information bloated, communication destroying, marginalizing, and a self esteem killer and the only way you find out is a few weeks later.
It's also 'addicting', people like the moment to moment experience, the haptic feedback of play. Sure, over half of an average game of League is waiting out a snowball of a win or a loss due to some rage inducing set of misplays from a team that compound on itself both in the emotions of unhappiness for everyone involved. Often people feel compelled to fight it out, but most people want it to be over. Yet damn does it feel good to kill somebody with a positional snipe or combo. Or to get a small chance of being the guy that carries the team to victory. These rare moments compel the continuation of play, in spite of it all!
With that said, people still will concede to League's addictiveness and its shittiness. Even the more reactionary and hateful people on the planet will concede this fact. It's compulsory, accepted without question.
"Junk yields a basic formula of ``evil'' virus: The Algebra of Need. The face of ``evil'' is always the face of total need. A dope fiend is a man in total need of dope. Beyond a certain frequency need knows absolutely no limit or control. In the words of total need: ``Wouldn't you?'' Yes you would." - Burroughs, DEPOSITION: Testimony Concerning A Sickness
This is phenomenally important to me. I think League is a vital misery simulation to keep people from thinking that all video games are basically value neutral and have no effect on the player. The impact this one game has on the landscape of gaming discourse as a whole can not be ignored, League of Legends is a discursive vaccination shot for the collective consciousness of 'gaming' with all of the baggage that analogy comes with. Some people thinking such a 'vaccine' should have never happened and others thinking that what its existence is protecting us from doesn't really matter, that its fine to get 'a little sick' from various other strains of long term misery. For these 'gaming anti-vaxxers' the idea is its completely ok to get caught with the viral infection because it causes 'herd immunity'. People will get sick with gaming en masse and that will fix the problem instead of making things worse. League keeps people from being able to accept this lie. If we forget how this felt, we will allow a new pandemic to overtake our minds.
"Subtle viruses are slow, synergic, flexible
and elusive. They execute sensitive behavioural control that prolongs the life of the biomachinic resources,
maximizes opportunities for propogation, infiltrates and
disables hostile security systems, and feeds-back positive -+-++-+-++ in in in innovation technoscience." - Nick Land, Hypervirus
This 1 misery simulator prevents people from being able from truly staying comatose on the issue of the gamification of the world and how it affects health. It could close its servers tomorrow and still be the most important and impactful 'game' ever made. 'Gamers' absolutely deserved this game to happen to them, it was necessary. What's important for all of us is to recognize the distinct number of ways this bred misery, so that we can try not to get trapped in it again and get so infected with a new viral strain. Thank the gods for League tho, it's for gaming discourse what Pasteur's Vaccine inventions are for Medicine!
So that's all that needs to be said! Hey wait, whats this?
"Man has used poisons for assassination purposes ever since the dawn of civilization, not only against individual enemies but also occasionally against armies. However, the foundation of microbiology by Louis Pasteur and Robert Koch offered new prospects for those interested in biological weapons because it allowed agents to be chosen and designed on a rational basis. " - Friedrich Frischknecht, The history of biological warfare
So the recognition of contemporary disease theory also came at a price, what, bioweapons? Ok, but surely the respect for mass vaccination in my analogy holds true, right?
"Let the bodies pile high" - Allegedly Boris Johnson
Whatever that's just some greedy asshole. That has nothing to do with gaming! After all... it's not like the World is a Game... A game. A game?
"Walton Simons: I've received reports of armed attacks on shipments. There's not enough vaccine to go around, and the underclasses are starting to get desperate.
Bob Page: Of course they're desperate. They can smell their death, and the sound they'll make rattling their cage will serve as a warning to the rest. " - Deus Ex
"Capitalism actually works perfectly for what its designed to do. There's a winner and a loser, and though you fancy yourself otherwise - you are a loser" - Purp, Paradigmfetish
I'm feeling light headed for some reason. No I'm fine don't worry I think I just I might have come down with something. I'm going to go lie down for a little while. We can play Some More Games after I wake up...
"Sweepstakes, you're a winner
Sweepstakes, you're a winner
Sweepstakes, you're a winner
Sweepstakes, you're a winner" - Gorillaz, Sweepstakes