first of all, i want to say that this text is more about my relationship with the game than the game itself
i don't even think i'm reviewing the game
in 2023, i had a massive creative block. i abandoned texts like Jet Grind Radio, Live A Live, The Silver Case... among others
i saw a chance to write something and decided to put it out there
these are just drafts that were in my mind. i don't intend to sound reflective, pretentious, or anything like that
i just want to use this as an opportunity to get back to writing... i hope it works
- WARNING -
HERE COMES THE JUDGE!
[ THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM DOES NOT EXIST ]
you know, whenever i have the opportunity to talk about what attracts me the most in the shmup niche, especially bullet hell games, i always end up giving the same answer: the sense of progress. the satisfaction of overcoming a level that i used to struggle with just a few playthroughs ago, even when i was giving it my all, now serves as nothing more than an obstacle to the final boss. — okay, not exactly with all these words, but the core of the response is always the same
Radiant Silvergun and Ikaruga, both games by Treasure, presented me with the question "why do i keep doing this again and again?" and granted me the answer "to be a better person." changing the world, fighting against a metaphorical god, is unattainable for most of us, so for this reason, i like to think that the idea of being a better person isn't inherently linked to making macro level decisions; perhaps you can't change society before it implodes, but you can be a better person on the micro level. the internal struggle between the ideal self and the material self, in which i realize that sooner or later, i will be at a disadvantage against myself, the internal embodiment of my voices. but... what about when i, or even you, don't feel capable of overcoming this challenge?
i believe many of us have taboos when it comes to video games, feeling subjugated when admitting to using a guide, looking up the solution to a puzzle online, and of course, using save states. i won't delve into whether the examples mentioned are inherently wrong or not, i believe each person knows their limits. but the fact is, i don't like using save states in bullet hell games. pushing my own limits through challenging paths, knowing that everything needed to overcome them is right there in front of me, is almost like my inner self telling me that i can beat the challenges in my life. just stay strong and rely on those who push you forward
i felt frustrated and disheartened for having used save states. after nearly a dozen hours invested, climbing a steepening hill of challenges that made me stop and say, "ah, c'mon. is it even possible to get through this part without getting hit?" and yet, i triumphed one by one, until i reached the 26th area and its subsequent ones, only to die in them over and over again. the sense of progress the game had built in me began to fade, i no longer saw a purpose in overcoming a challenge of this magnitude knowing that even more difficult ones lay ahead
in brazil, there is a well-known expression for anyone who has had contact with video games, which was commonly used when someone played a single-player game with a friend or family member, called "quem morrer passa o controle" (whoever dies passes the controller). the meaning is as straightforward as it sounds: there's cooperation between you and your partner, where if one of you dies in the game, the other takes on the responsibility of trying to overcome the obstacle at hand. what i'm getting at is that there will be times when help is welcome. i don't need to feel bad every time i can't accomplish a task on my own
in the ending [E] of NieR: Automata, Yoko Taro told us that we are not alone. there will always be someone or something to lean on during the storm. using a save state, looking up a puzzle solution online, asking a friend for help; i don't want to be as alone as my mind makes it seem
when i was writing these thoughts about JSS, i wondered how much my current mental state would be affecting my experience, and to be honest, i don't have an immediate answer to that question. i thought about writing something more technical about the game, but everything involving the experience of playing it was so... different that to detach from what makes us human and embrace the idea of an entirely cold and devoid of any internal and external factors, it'd only resonate as a dishonest ideia with myself, in this specific case — i'm not saying that analyses aren't welcome or anything like that, though
M-KAI has proven to be a talented individual, to say the least. the mere existence of Judgement Silversword alone is proof of that
https://shmups.system11.org/viewtopic.php?t=41927
his authorial vision and experimentation, following the raw structure of the shmup genre, broke through my barrier from "what if" to "when" regarding his other projects
i'm not exactly sure what to expect, but i'm looking forward to seeing what Eschatos and his other games are like. i hope to experience them in the future!
i don't even think i'm reviewing the game
in 2023, i had a massive creative block. i abandoned texts like Jet Grind Radio, Live A Live, The Silver Case... among others
i saw a chance to write something and decided to put it out there
these are just drafts that were in my mind. i don't intend to sound reflective, pretentious, or anything like that
i just want to use this as an opportunity to get back to writing... i hope it works
- WARNING -
HERE COMES THE JUDGE!
[ THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM DOES NOT EXIST ]
you know, whenever i have the opportunity to talk about what attracts me the most in the shmup niche, especially bullet hell games, i always end up giving the same answer: the sense of progress. the satisfaction of overcoming a level that i used to struggle with just a few playthroughs ago, even when i was giving it my all, now serves as nothing more than an obstacle to the final boss. — okay, not exactly with all these words, but the core of the response is always the same
Radiant Silvergun and Ikaruga, both games by Treasure, presented me with the question "why do i keep doing this again and again?" and granted me the answer "to be a better person." changing the world, fighting against a metaphorical god, is unattainable for most of us, so for this reason, i like to think that the idea of being a better person isn't inherently linked to making macro level decisions; perhaps you can't change society before it implodes, but you can be a better person on the micro level. the internal struggle between the ideal self and the material self, in which i realize that sooner or later, i will be at a disadvantage against myself, the internal embodiment of my voices. but... what about when i, or even you, don't feel capable of overcoming this challenge?
i believe many of us have taboos when it comes to video games, feeling subjugated when admitting to using a guide, looking up the solution to a puzzle online, and of course, using save states. i won't delve into whether the examples mentioned are inherently wrong or not, i believe each person knows their limits. but the fact is, i don't like using save states in bullet hell games. pushing my own limits through challenging paths, knowing that everything needed to overcome them is right there in front of me, is almost like my inner self telling me that i can beat the challenges in my life. just stay strong and rely on those who push you forward
i felt frustrated and disheartened for having used save states. after nearly a dozen hours invested, climbing a steepening hill of challenges that made me stop and say, "ah, c'mon. is it even possible to get through this part without getting hit?" and yet, i triumphed one by one, until i reached the 26th area and its subsequent ones, only to die in them over and over again. the sense of progress the game had built in me began to fade, i no longer saw a purpose in overcoming a challenge of this magnitude knowing that even more difficult ones lay ahead
in brazil, there is a well-known expression for anyone who has had contact with video games, which was commonly used when someone played a single-player game with a friend or family member, called "quem morrer passa o controle" (whoever dies passes the controller). the meaning is as straightforward as it sounds: there's cooperation between you and your partner, where if one of you dies in the game, the other takes on the responsibility of trying to overcome the obstacle at hand. what i'm getting at is that there will be times when help is welcome. i don't need to feel bad every time i can't accomplish a task on my own
in the ending [E] of NieR: Automata, Yoko Taro told us that we are not alone. there will always be someone or something to lean on during the storm. using a save state, looking up a puzzle solution online, asking a friend for help; i don't want to be as alone as my mind makes it seem
when i was writing these thoughts about JSS, i wondered how much my current mental state would be affecting my experience, and to be honest, i don't have an immediate answer to that question. i thought about writing something more technical about the game, but everything involving the experience of playing it was so... different that to detach from what makes us human and embrace the idea of an entirely cold and devoid of any internal and external factors, it'd only resonate as a dishonest ideia with myself, in this specific case — i'm not saying that analyses aren't welcome or anything like that, though
M-KAI has proven to be a talented individual, to say the least. the mere existence of Judgement Silversword alone is proof of that
https://shmups.system11.org/viewtopic.php?t=41927
his authorial vision and experimentation, following the raw structure of the shmup genre, broke through my barrier from "what if" to "when" regarding his other projects
i'm not exactly sure what to expect, but i'm looking forward to seeing what Eschatos and his other games are like. i hope to experience them in the future!