What if Super Castlevania IV was even more anime, took place in feudal Japan, featured Maria as a side character who tells you things like “oh no, it’s a dead end” and “boy, these ledges are sure high up, make sure you don’t fall down,” but if you ever talk back to her or threaten to kill her she’ll transform you into a nerfed child-version of yourself. A Simon Belmont who wants to kill his sidekick lady far more than he wants to kill Dracula