This is like one of those made up games that you see a guy playing in a TV drama. People who have never played video games before imagine that video games are this game.
Got this along with my Wii at launch. It would set the tone for my opinion on the Wii in general. The characters are all so generic that I'm not sure whether they even had names, the monsters are time honored classics like Armored Pig Man and Spider, the songs are unforgettably lacking in identity. Almost every enemy has exactly enough health for you to finish them off with a satisfying three hit combo, which is not satisfying because the motion controls rarely work. Within the first fifteen minutes of the game you get a bizarrely overpowered attack that can wipe out around ten monsters at once, so they immediately start compensating for that by dropping upwards of ten monsters at a time on you. The AI seems to make no considerations like "can the player see me right now" or "if I attack right now will it turn into a stunlock gangbang" so if you don't have the resources to use your super attack then all engagements start with you getting stunlocked by something off screen and end with a gangbang. You would be an idiot not to just run past all the enemies that you're not forced to fight.
Boss fights end with QuickTime events which are pretty laughable even amongst QuickTime events. You see a button prompt and you press it and you expect there to be some kind of satisfying animation of your character being successful in some way right? But in this game, pressing the button just prevents the cutscene from ending. No guarantee that your nameless protag is going to move at all. Also swinging the Wii remote or nunchuck in a particular direction is part of the button prompts, so flip a coin for survival.
Speaking of cutscenes, most of them are the exact same animation of the protag staring at his sword while it text dumps at him. There is often no sound effects in cutscenes too, which adds to the D3 Publisher aspect of this title.
Instead of seeing Puzzle Object instantly react to Correct Technique in some satisfying way, it always just holds its place for a half second before fading to black and playing a cutscene of Puzzle Object's reaction, which makes me feel so unattached to what I'm doing that I wonder if I'm passed out behind the wheel of a Ford that's about to burst through the wall of an orphanage.
The visual effect on the surface of the water in the first few levels is eye popping gorgeous and a really poor fit for the otherwise middling art style.
This game might turn around and become super awesome after the second boss maybe, I'll never know. I'm not even looking up a longplay on this one.
Got this along with my Wii at launch. It would set the tone for my opinion on the Wii in general. The characters are all so generic that I'm not sure whether they even had names, the monsters are time honored classics like Armored Pig Man and Spider, the songs are unforgettably lacking in identity. Almost every enemy has exactly enough health for you to finish them off with a satisfying three hit combo, which is not satisfying because the motion controls rarely work. Within the first fifteen minutes of the game you get a bizarrely overpowered attack that can wipe out around ten monsters at once, so they immediately start compensating for that by dropping upwards of ten monsters at a time on you. The AI seems to make no considerations like "can the player see me right now" or "if I attack right now will it turn into a stunlock gangbang" so if you don't have the resources to use your super attack then all engagements start with you getting stunlocked by something off screen and end with a gangbang. You would be an idiot not to just run past all the enemies that you're not forced to fight.
Boss fights end with QuickTime events which are pretty laughable even amongst QuickTime events. You see a button prompt and you press it and you expect there to be some kind of satisfying animation of your character being successful in some way right? But in this game, pressing the button just prevents the cutscene from ending. No guarantee that your nameless protag is going to move at all. Also swinging the Wii remote or nunchuck in a particular direction is part of the button prompts, so flip a coin for survival.
Speaking of cutscenes, most of them are the exact same animation of the protag staring at his sword while it text dumps at him. There is often no sound effects in cutscenes too, which adds to the D3 Publisher aspect of this title.
Instead of seeing Puzzle Object instantly react to Correct Technique in some satisfying way, it always just holds its place for a half second before fading to black and playing a cutscene of Puzzle Object's reaction, which makes me feel so unattached to what I'm doing that I wonder if I'm passed out behind the wheel of a Ford that's about to burst through the wall of an orphanage.
The visual effect on the surface of the water in the first few levels is eye popping gorgeous and a really poor fit for the otherwise middling art style.
This game might turn around and become super awesome after the second boss maybe, I'll never know. I'm not even looking up a longplay on this one.