An excerpt from the tragically unpublished Shadow Tower Abyss tie-in novel, translated to English for the first time:
"...I plunged further into the labyrinth, through the shimmering limestone walls, where troglodytic cyclopean beasts kept counsel, but even they were cowed by the nightmarish bellows that reverberated up from the deeper reaches of the tower. A deft sword hand and heavy plate armour kept me alive, barely, as I cut my way through inscrutable rooms and hallways, which seemed to have no other purpose than to confound me, as if an ancient prophet-architect foresaw my progress and took it as an insult. Sometimes, I felt that the creatures of this place were as lost and afraid as I was, their masks of madness seemed to slip, and I saw my own quiet desperation reflected in them, but to see oneself in horrors wrought flesh inspires only deeper hatred, my blade never once hesitated.

I wandered at length, doubled and tripled back on myself, and the passage of time was measured only in the dwindling of my supplies. I did not sleep. Eventually I came to a pillared hall, great enough that it's ceiling disappeared into the gloom, the doors were cast open, and I stepped inside. The now familiar roar echoed throughout, the great doors suddenly shut, and the ferocious denizens set upon me in droves, I exhausted myself against wave after wave, nameless limb severed from nameless beast. I thought that was to be my end, that I would be consumed and all that marked my passing would be whatever the creatures could not digest. But at long last, after wearying battle, a way opened before me. This was only a bitter relief however; the deeper terror called again and with it, a message came unbidden to my mind, an invitation to match power against the lord of this forgotten hall.

With notched sword and rent armor I resolved to face this challenge, despite my great weariness I pressed on through the darkness, and came to a throne room. Face to face at last with the beast that so frightened even the creatures of such a place, it looked like a lion, only far too large, with a burnt and tattered mane, and a face possessed of wicked and alien intelligence. The monster was lounging on a smooth limestone pedestal, girdled by stalagmites, and as it cast it's malevolent gaze upon me it reared itself up to its full height, towering over me, the look on its face told me that I had been sized up as a play thing, inferior in both might and sorcery.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! My Ruger Blackhawk revolver roared to life, 6 rounds of 158 Grain, Jacketed Hollow Point .357 Magnum tore 6 holes through the beast and left it crumpled on the floor. I blew the curling smoke from the barrel of my pistol. "Your face, your ass, what's the difference?" I announced, as I spun the pistol round my finger and returned it to it's holster."

Reviewed on Jan 29, 2022


5 Comments


2 years ago

Ok, this is probably a complete shitpost but can you redirect me to whatever this novel is? Because this is fucking fascinating.

2 years ago

it's all made up for the review, sorry.

2 years ago

Yeah I guessed it. Shit, if it was an actual thing, it could've been amazing.
best review on the site tbh

1 year ago

thanks I think so too ha