I live in a world where I have been disappointed by Garten of Banban. I am lost. I am unforgivable.
I hardly know what to say, even, since I enjoyed this way less than the other games. 1 was so bad it was good, 2 had The Cannon Game, 3 honestly had a few things. This game... has one decent voice actor who's overqualified for the job, and some genuinely good parts of the soundtrack. Nothing in the gameplay, nothing in the writing, even with those bars resting soundly in the mantle of the earth.
Front to back, this game is about as boring as a cashier job. There are exactly two neat ideas in this whole game: the setting of the kingdom, and spot the difference. The kingdom itself is fine, i suppose, though I have my reservations with the game's seeming lack of justification for it. This game justifies nothing, actually, just "oh yeah this is here by the way.” It feels like aiming in a black void, which is especially notable here because we're at game 4 now, yet with how little it actually builds on existing facets it feels like it should be the first game. Furthermore, the spot the difference is simply poorly executed. Apparently it can be quite difficult (according to LenaLesbian, citing Nightblade) but for me, it was (1) big things that a bathroom could simply not be without (2) like three very big boxes missing (3) the chairs in the sunroom, twice in a row. Unengaging, and beyond me why they'd give four minutes for it.
So, if not neat ideas, what's left? Well, uh, there's- oh fuck this I don't want to write more about this game. It's dialogue mush with padding presented in the form of stretching the crumbs of plot to the max (contrast with the "just keep throwing stuff" attitude of the last two games, which was much preferred,) it's a poor execution extravaganza, it takes itself seriously the whole time and cracks i think only one joke, it's a fucking waste of time and complaining more is a waste of time. It is as low as a 2/10 can go, only saved by a couple things along the way that kept it simply forgettable rather than outright miserable. I turned 21 years old just yesterday, I'm being asked to come to bed, it's nearly 3AM and I have to be up in seven hours, there's a beautiful life ahead of me and I can't sit here and inundate myself in a mascot horror lore game. It took just one game to get me absolutely sick of this. Let me out. Please do not buy me the next game.
I hardly know what to say, even, since I enjoyed this way less than the other games. 1 was so bad it was good, 2 had The Cannon Game, 3 honestly had a few things. This game... has one decent voice actor who's overqualified for the job, and some genuinely good parts of the soundtrack. Nothing in the gameplay, nothing in the writing, even with those bars resting soundly in the mantle of the earth.
Front to back, this game is about as boring as a cashier job. There are exactly two neat ideas in this whole game: the setting of the kingdom, and spot the difference. The kingdom itself is fine, i suppose, though I have my reservations with the game's seeming lack of justification for it. This game justifies nothing, actually, just "oh yeah this is here by the way.” It feels like aiming in a black void, which is especially notable here because we're at game 4 now, yet with how little it actually builds on existing facets it feels like it should be the first game. Furthermore, the spot the difference is simply poorly executed. Apparently it can be quite difficult (according to LenaLesbian, citing Nightblade) but for me, it was (1) big things that a bathroom could simply not be without (2) like three very big boxes missing (3) the chairs in the sunroom, twice in a row. Unengaging, and beyond me why they'd give four minutes for it.
So, if not neat ideas, what's left? Well, uh, there's- oh fuck this I don't want to write more about this game. It's dialogue mush with padding presented in the form of stretching the crumbs of plot to the max (contrast with the "just keep throwing stuff" attitude of the last two games, which was much preferred,) it's a poor execution extravaganza, it takes itself seriously the whole time and cracks i think only one joke, it's a fucking waste of time and complaining more is a waste of time. It is as low as a 2/10 can go, only saved by a couple things along the way that kept it simply forgettable rather than outright miserable. I turned 21 years old just yesterday, I'm being asked to come to bed, it's nearly 3AM and I have to be up in seven hours, there's a beautiful life ahead of me and I can't sit here and inundate myself in a mascot horror lore game. It took just one game to get me absolutely sick of this. Let me out. Please do not buy me the next game.
2 Comments
Thank you for perfectly describing my feelings about this game. Hope it's okay that I quoted you and linked to your review in mine, I just loved the phrase too much
Nightblade
9 months ago