WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?

After being pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed Frontiers my excitement for Superstars wasn't that high but I was still interested in playing. Come release and a good friend of mine got their hands on the game and to say they had a rough experience was an UNDERSTATEMENT, comparing it to some of Sonics worse like 4. Well after finishing up everything I'm here to say ITS EVEN FUCKING WORSE HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN SONIC TEAM/ARZEST. The fact this complete dumpster fire was full fucking price (the last 2D Sonic being Mania priced at $30 with the excellent DLC) proves that God is not real and we deserve everything that has damned humanity as a species.

If I had to say what I liked before the complete ripping apart I'd say the visuals aren't completely shit, with some zones like the first two being pretty pleasant on the eyes. OST is a mixed bag but when it hit it's pretty rock solid, with some pretty sweet tunes throughout (before the generic genesis shit reminds you what you're playing). All the character abilities feel like they should with Amy especially feeling pretty nice to play with her double jump and hammer melting some bosses. Oh and the special stages are bitch baby easy with only the fifth one having any form of challenge.

Because of how much this game gets wrong Imma go through the issues from smallest to biggest. First and foremost is just how fucking buggy this game can be. From soft locking various sections to a hard crash from collecting too many RINGS Superstars might rival 06 in the unfinished department technical wise. The overall control feels like the lovechild between Sonic 4s lack of speed and Forces general lack of polish, with it feeling all over the place which makes the levels a pain to navigate. On the subject of levels I'd like to briefly discuss an issue some Sonic fans have with the franchise that I never agreed with and that's originality=good. Mania gets this the most with how most of it is recycled and while I can understand this a bit the zones still go hard and showcase just how well Mania is designed. Superstars has every stage be original but MAN do they just not hit the mark. Out of the 11 present I only really enjoyed my time with Bridge Island, a solid enough first level with the best overall feel. The rest are either boring (Golden Capital being the most apparent) or some of the worst in a 2D Sonic game (whoever designed Press Factory needs to be blacklisted from the industry). Another interesting idea that falls flat is the Emerald Powers, with each emerald offering a unique power that can be used once before needing to be refreshed at a checkpoint. Out of them only three were useful, with Avatar being a useful screen nuke and Bullet/Slow helping in general platforming and some boss fights (emphasis on SOME). The rest are either only useful for select parts or useful FOR ONE FUCKING STAGE making the entire gimmick feel like a waste. It's genuinely embarrassing when I can give Wisps more credit (and Wisps are just alright).

With all those out of the way its time to talk about the elephant in the room: the bosses. Sonic bosses usually vary in quality but the general consensus for the 2D games is they're pretty simple fights that take about a minute or two tops (even the final bosses). Some games like the Rush spinoffs attempt to rev up the heat to various results but they still keep the same gameplan. Superstars decides to change things up by making EVERY.SINGLE.FIGHT take multiple minutes because you have to wait until the boss ALLOWS itself to be hit and only ONCE BECAUSE THE BOSSES HAVE MORE FUCKING I FRAMES THAN EVERY GENESIS GAME COMBINED WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY THIS IS SUCH A STUPID DECISION I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT. The final bosses have this problem the most with each being double digits with no checkpoints inbetween meaning its back to square one if you get instakilled (which you will because each boss has one). Only saving grace in this regard is that Superstars ditches the traditional lives system so its more of a test of patience for when you'll beat the game.

All this would make Superstars a middling title on its own but one final kick in the teeth makes this truly the worst: Trips Story. A new OC integral to Superstars plot, her moveset is a combination of both Amys double jump and Knuckles climb and just like Amy she feels pretty solid to control. It's a real shame her unique stuff is JUST THE SAME FUCKING GAME BUT HARDER. Her levels throw every dogshit Sonic level design from bottomless pits,enemy placement,spikes,insta kill squeezing making it a truly dreadful experience. Adding to that is HER BOSSES ALSO TAKE LONGER which means you will be here longer compared to the base game (also you're forced to do the character-exclusive zones because fuck you). The already dogshit final zone is a nightmare for Trip, with the game just throwing everything it has before you limp to a final boss with some of the most bullshit attacks in the game (two instakills which basically force you to use powers to succeed). Also her super form is buggy as fuck and requires frequent switching out of to actually progress (a problem no other character has).

Superstars is the worst Sonic I've played no questions asked. Under no circumstances do I recommend this because you can just play Mania or one of the classic titles and get an infinitely better experience. I still am optimistic for the Blue Blurs future but man this was a miss of catastrophic proportions.

2/10