For the longest time, I’ve always delayed this review for a specific reason. When I first finished FFXVI, I wrote down a 6 paged long review for FFXVI and while I am proud of the passion I poured into it, it just…lacked “something”, a main integral part of it was missing. It would only be a few months later that I’d realise the reason why, and it’s because while I did absorb the motivational and inspiring themes about accepting reality for what it is and resisting your predetermined fate to shape the reality you want, I didn’t apply that to my life like I thought I did and that faint, vague thought that slept in the deepest crevices of my mind would be the sole saviour of my mind when I was forced to confront a personal, subconscious part of who I am that I kept locked away for my own comfort when I had a painful self realisation about my darker subconscious traits. Trying to verbalise the vehement disgust and sheer sense of discomfort I felt towards myself when I made that self realisation was too much for me at the time, and so, in a way, writing this review at this state in my life about a game that was the catalyst to this realisation I made was like going through the different parts of myself that I hated and denied for the longest.


It was like picking the scattered shards of a broken glass, trying to reconnect them one by one from the past into one integral piece to feel a sense of peace. But the more shards I picked, the more they hurt, and that sensation of wanting to throw it all away and replace the broken shards with fake ones that barely fit just to indulge in self denial was what made me connect with the leading protagonist, Clive Rosfield. What I’d been ignoring my entire life, my own shadow and subconscious reactions, have been what were causing me most of my strife in life, yet I always averted my eyes from the truth when it was staring right into my face and blamed another for it to spare myself the guilt that I always feared would destroy what little was left of me. It set me on a long journey that tested my perseverance, self love, outlooks on life, my relationships, and most importantly myself, causing me to re-evaluate everything that I was, with beach walks by the full moon at night being my only temporary relief in an otherwise overwhelming time.

FFXVI isn’t just a game, it’s about taking responsibility towards others but most importantly yourself, it’s a fiery, blazing yet a gentle and a warm reminder that while choosing to be the victim is easy, becoming the hero of your own story and turning tragedy to triumph is a continuous arduous path that’s full of suffering and fear. FFXVI pushes the generic idea that embracing the truth makes you stronger, but what sets it apart is that it emphasises how accepting the truth is only a part of the equation and isn’t the be all and end all. Accepting the truth is part of it, but applying that truth, etching it onto your heart, and wearing your heart on your sleeves as you’re burning a roadless path ahead without running away is what matters. It doesn’t show that the acceptance of truth is a one time event, it’s an ongoing process that takes as long as our lives do, and it does that with how it characterises Clive’s contradictions because when he accepted the truth, trying to apply it on his journey was just as arduous as ever and that’s what truly touched me, because there is no escape nor a solution to it, it’s an endless treadmill with moments of bliss sprinkled every now and then. Whether it’s Clive’s own struggles to live up to his father’s ideals and his fears pertaining them, Jill’s inability to shake off her self deprecating views about herself from her experiences with abuse, Joshua’s need to prove his own self because of his inferiority complex, & Dion’s need to obsessively pay everyone he unintentionally hurt back when he doesn’t need to, I felt like I was seen and validated by each and everyone of them. It’s when a piece of art can speak to you so spiritually and forms such an intimate connection with you that its characters feel like real people and integral parts of who you are, that it stops being just a piece of art and something deeper than that. It becomes a safe haven and that’s the most accurate way I can describe FFXVI.


Though I did the most I could to embrace the shadow and subconscious traits from within me, to forgive and accept that part of me instead of rejecting it by doing inner child work, patching up my hostile relationship with my parents, reconnecting with my siblings and friends, going out of my comfort zone to do things I always wanted to do, and internalising a new way to look at everything as I knew, even as I’m writing this, I can feel those dark habits pulling me back and my fear of the truth from within me breaking me apart, but it’s why I’m able to connect with Clive so much, who tries to be an unstoppable force while being barely held together by thin rope that could break at any moment & believing in the truth of his being. The truth is a feeble concept, one formed and changed by the narrow mind’s singular perspective in an attempt at self preservation, but that’s what helped me explore a deeper meaning to my life because the truth isn’t what’s before you, it’s what you make of it and work towards realising that. We can’t choose who we are, but we can choose who we become on the morrow and strive towards that self. It’s less about changing who we are as much as it’s about exploring who we can become and getting comfortable with that. In this piece in which I impart an integral, personal chapter of my life, I leave a mark that maybe someone can learn from or be inspired by, the same way this piece of art inspired a transformative stage in my life. Years from now, I likely won’t be able to recall the exact feelings I felt writing this piece, but I know that they will impact me forever after, as little as they are, just like how the few blissful moments I spent walking by the beach and gazing at its endless horizons with the full moon’s light illuminating the ocean did.