I was really worried about revisiting Minority Report, mostly due to the awful reviews it received from critics after its launch. But honestly? Not bad at all.

There are lots of things that stand out about Everybody Runs, but mostly that the ragdoll physics are quite good. Your primary weapon is some sort of blowback rifle that you can use to toss enemies around. There are rooftop levels where you can shoot people off the side of ledges, which is genuinely jolly fun. You even have a selection of melee combos you can execute, or if you're really not in the mood to learn those, you can just pick people up and toss them off of roofs. Or just throw them into each other.

The OST is also an absolute fuckin' banger. Easily the best part of this game. Particularly the main menu theme, Sprawl Riot, and Danny Witwer are great tracks. The opening of Sprawl Riot is unforgettable and when it plays in game you just kind of have no choice but to be taken over by vibes and fuck everyone up.

Everybody Runs is also at its best with cheats on. If you intend to play, use cheats. Give yourself infinite ammo, extra armor, all the weapons, and an easy way to regain health. You can try to play this game legit if you want, but it's honestly quite hard. There are certain levels that I could not have done without cheats.

It's also hilarious that in this game, you're playing a character who's trying to prove they're not going to murder anyone... while simultaneously murdering hundreds upon hundreds of thugs, swat, and future crime police by blowing them to bits with rocket launches, tossing them off of roofs, or shotgunning them in the face. Ahh yes, I'm very innocent thank you.

Also, it's really funny that this is like a B-movie-ification of Minority Report. It's like an alternate universe version where this movie was the most schlocky shit imaginable. It turns a thought provoking science fiction masterpiece into a shitty action movie full of one-liners. It's genuinely bizarre.

Overall, the game ain't bad. It has a lot going for it that take what would have been otherwise a completely unremarkable game and make it a mix of so-bad-it's-good and ridiculous fun.

Reviewed on Aug 17, 2022


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