This review contains spoilers
Me giving this game 3 1/2 stars is actually a huge compliment. I recently beat this game for the 4th time ever. First time was AGES ago and it didn't really leave any impression on me whatsoever. Second time was through the Xbox remake, which I'll likely talk about in its own review but still meh. Third time through Rare Replay in which I felt the game was honestly just flat out bad. I found just about every mission to be incredibly repetitive and annoying. Though I've always had the feeling part of it was a genuine skill issue. Well, that and a lot of the design feels very unintuitive and sloppy, but in a way that can be enjoyable once you understand how it all works.
I'm happy to say after ages of considering this game borderline unplayable, I had a good time with my most recent playthrough. I can't help but wonder if the game had been developed with this adult angle from the beginning, if they'd have had time to make it a true masterpiece though. Because releasing in 2001 after development reset, they were clearly rushed. The Gamecube was releasing a mere half a year later. I really wish we could have just gotten the original game with the adult Rare platformer coming afterwards. But, there's a good amount of varied, and decently challenging platforming and obstacles, and once it clicks its a lot of fun.
What really hurts this game (Once you get past the initial sloppy design that made me hate playing it originally) is its failure to commit to being a parody of the mascot platformer genre. At the start it does feel that way, with light collectathon elements, colorful worlds with upbeat music, recognizable characters, of course with the M rated twist. But at some point the game drops the somewhat open ended exploration reminiscent of Rare's other games, and instead drops Conker in a bunch of Movie parodies that are generally played very straight. It markets itself as an adult parody of mascot platformers, made by the masters of mascot platformers, and instead what you get is lol xD matrix reference, see them doing matrix stuff?
And them losing the point of the game also extends to its own story. For context, the beginning of the game is the most actually funny it gets, y'know, when it's actually parodying the intended material. But then the entire second half of the game is largely entirely disconnected movie scenes played straight, with hardly an attempt at humor. Which I could actually appreciate, it's frustrating that adult cartoons feel the need to be adult in exclusively a comedic way. I truly really appreciate the darker tones this game hits. But it really struggles to hit the landing when it's so random and disconnected from the rest of the game. And the villain is so pointlessly goofy that they threw him away to make another movie reference instead of having him as a boss battle. Why did Banjo-Kazooie and DK64 get actual threatening villains and the "Adult" game that delves into a serious tone have a literal throwaway joke? Conker doesn't even know the Panther King exists until he meets him in the very last room of the game, totally unaware of his plot the entire time. The overall narrative themes, and Berri herself feel very half baked and underutilized. Conker's relationship with her is given next to no screen time, finally meeting up with her doesn't even feel like a major moment despite it being one of, if not your only goals. The game is basically just a bunch of skits that are at best loosely connected, and sometimes you don't even get that. And it's like the game hits a screeching hault at some point because the devs realized they ran out of time to even make an N64 game at all and it had to end NOW. Definitely one of the most abrupt endings I've ever seen. Like the game needed to be shipped out about...18 months ago so they just told the designers whatever level they're in the middle of making, wherever you are cut it off and spawn in the final boss in the last room you finished. So somehow the Panther King is at the end of this Matrix hallway inside their money vault, apparently working with the mob boss and oh yeah now we're in space? They kill off Berri and Conker has almost no reaction to this in the moment, really awkwardly done all around.
But again early on, it does feel more coherent. You can actually tackle levels in a non-linear order (Even able to get to the cave-man stuff without even so much as entering the barn at the beginning). Weird comparison but it's like when some Resident Evil games have a very intricately thought out first area, only for every area afterwards to just be a linear action shooter that forgot what the game started as.
Early on you're just trying to find enough things to do to get enough money to progress, classic collectathon platformer stuff. But past the first gate of needing $1,000, money feels so superfluous, and you'll basically never find it just through exploration past this point either. You'll go through some lengthy haunted house section and all you get out of this entire level is a barrel that lets you climb up some water, taking you back to the main hub area, but giving you a stack of money on the way. I don't really get the point of there being a collectible when the game's turned into a strictly linear affair like this. Then out of nowhere it's time for War and Conker goes and gets himself drafted because there's nothing else to do anyway. Then suddenly it becomes matrix for like 3 minutes, you fight an Alien from Alien, then the game ends on a weirdly downer ending.
Sorry to go on so much for what's largely story and game structure, and not so much gameplay. But it really is a major chunk of the game and its identity. There's about 3 hours worth of cutscenes, and it's frustrating they'd rather spend so much time on say, the not even trying to be funny vampire C-plot rather than putting any time whatsoever into building the themes and main characters. Berri is on the front of the box right next to Conker and yet probably has less screen time than many of the one-off throwaway characters. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it at least committed to being a lighthearted goofy game, but as the game gets more linear and more serious, it really leaves you wishing for more. Only to leave off on an incredibly abrupt, lame ending that is really riding on the story to have delivered a meaningful thought provoking message. But it didn't, it just has a weird downer of an ending that I REALLY wish it earned. If they really tapped into the somber, gritty tone the end portions go for, I think we'd have something truly exceptionally special here. But unfortunately many aspects of the ending feel very rushed.
Honestly even some more actual music would have done wonders for some levels. Just like the rest of the game, the soundtrack starts off being a very clear parody of Rare's previous works. But later on, many entire sections are given very downplayed, subtle music, if they're even given music at all. Like they didn't have enough time to make the entire game BK quality in ANY department. The soundtrack is so small, with truly only a very select few within that already small soundtrack that fits the game's prompt of adult banjo kazooie
But hey, even the sections of the game I'm heavily criticizing are really cool in isolation. Which is good because the game presents them in isolation. But even forgiving the amateurish and often repetitive game design I'd have given this game 1 star over in the past, it falls pretty flat in areas it absolutely could have soared in. That said I'm glad to have a newfound appreciation for it regardless.
I'm happy to say after ages of considering this game borderline unplayable, I had a good time with my most recent playthrough. I can't help but wonder if the game had been developed with this adult angle from the beginning, if they'd have had time to make it a true masterpiece though. Because releasing in 2001 after development reset, they were clearly rushed. The Gamecube was releasing a mere half a year later. I really wish we could have just gotten the original game with the adult Rare platformer coming afterwards. But, there's a good amount of varied, and decently challenging platforming and obstacles, and once it clicks its a lot of fun.
What really hurts this game (Once you get past the initial sloppy design that made me hate playing it originally) is its failure to commit to being a parody of the mascot platformer genre. At the start it does feel that way, with light collectathon elements, colorful worlds with upbeat music, recognizable characters, of course with the M rated twist. But at some point the game drops the somewhat open ended exploration reminiscent of Rare's other games, and instead drops Conker in a bunch of Movie parodies that are generally played very straight. It markets itself as an adult parody of mascot platformers, made by the masters of mascot platformers, and instead what you get is lol xD matrix reference, see them doing matrix stuff?
And them losing the point of the game also extends to its own story. For context, the beginning of the game is the most actually funny it gets, y'know, when it's actually parodying the intended material. But then the entire second half of the game is largely entirely disconnected movie scenes played straight, with hardly an attempt at humor. Which I could actually appreciate, it's frustrating that adult cartoons feel the need to be adult in exclusively a comedic way. I truly really appreciate the darker tones this game hits. But it really struggles to hit the landing when it's so random and disconnected from the rest of the game. And the villain is so pointlessly goofy that they threw him away to make another movie reference instead of having him as a boss battle. Why did Banjo-Kazooie and DK64 get actual threatening villains and the "Adult" game that delves into a serious tone have a literal throwaway joke? Conker doesn't even know the Panther King exists until he meets him in the very last room of the game, totally unaware of his plot the entire time. The overall narrative themes, and Berri herself feel very half baked and underutilized. Conker's relationship with her is given next to no screen time, finally meeting up with her doesn't even feel like a major moment despite it being one of, if not your only goals. The game is basically just a bunch of skits that are at best loosely connected, and sometimes you don't even get that. And it's like the game hits a screeching hault at some point because the devs realized they ran out of time to even make an N64 game at all and it had to end NOW. Definitely one of the most abrupt endings I've ever seen. Like the game needed to be shipped out about...18 months ago so they just told the designers whatever level they're in the middle of making, wherever you are cut it off and spawn in the final boss in the last room you finished. So somehow the Panther King is at the end of this Matrix hallway inside their money vault, apparently working with the mob boss and oh yeah now we're in space? They kill off Berri and Conker has almost no reaction to this in the moment, really awkwardly done all around.
But again early on, it does feel more coherent. You can actually tackle levels in a non-linear order (Even able to get to the cave-man stuff without even so much as entering the barn at the beginning). Weird comparison but it's like when some Resident Evil games have a very intricately thought out first area, only for every area afterwards to just be a linear action shooter that forgot what the game started as.
Early on you're just trying to find enough things to do to get enough money to progress, classic collectathon platformer stuff. But past the first gate of needing $1,000, money feels so superfluous, and you'll basically never find it just through exploration past this point either. You'll go through some lengthy haunted house section and all you get out of this entire level is a barrel that lets you climb up some water, taking you back to the main hub area, but giving you a stack of money on the way. I don't really get the point of there being a collectible when the game's turned into a strictly linear affair like this. Then out of nowhere it's time for War and Conker goes and gets himself drafted because there's nothing else to do anyway. Then suddenly it becomes matrix for like 3 minutes, you fight an Alien from Alien, then the game ends on a weirdly downer ending.
Sorry to go on so much for what's largely story and game structure, and not so much gameplay. But it really is a major chunk of the game and its identity. There's about 3 hours worth of cutscenes, and it's frustrating they'd rather spend so much time on say, the not even trying to be funny vampire C-plot rather than putting any time whatsoever into building the themes and main characters. Berri is on the front of the box right next to Conker and yet probably has less screen time than many of the one-off throwaway characters. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it at least committed to being a lighthearted goofy game, but as the game gets more linear and more serious, it really leaves you wishing for more. Only to leave off on an incredibly abrupt, lame ending that is really riding on the story to have delivered a meaningful thought provoking message. But it didn't, it just has a weird downer of an ending that I REALLY wish it earned. If they really tapped into the somber, gritty tone the end portions go for, I think we'd have something truly exceptionally special here. But unfortunately many aspects of the ending feel very rushed.
Honestly even some more actual music would have done wonders for some levels. Just like the rest of the game, the soundtrack starts off being a very clear parody of Rare's previous works. But later on, many entire sections are given very downplayed, subtle music, if they're even given music at all. Like they didn't have enough time to make the entire game BK quality in ANY department. The soundtrack is so small, with truly only a very select few within that already small soundtrack that fits the game's prompt of adult banjo kazooie
But hey, even the sections of the game I'm heavily criticizing are really cool in isolation. Which is good because the game presents them in isolation. But even forgiving the amateurish and often repetitive game design I'd have given this game 1 star over in the past, it falls pretty flat in areas it absolutely could have soared in. That said I'm glad to have a newfound appreciation for it regardless.