Ubisoft is a right wing company.
Yeah, sure, they use women and gays in their marketing but you have to understand that it's all in the same way republicans have started to use them; as gizmos from a toybox of image. And the thing about toyboxes is that you'll grow old of them and throw them away.
Otherwise, from Serge Hascoët yelling out "There's a monkey on the screen!" when he first saw the trailer to The Force Awakens, to Tom Clancy's The Division where the first third of the game is curiously about shooting black men who deal extra melee damage, to Far Cry 5's inexplicable "hey maybe the christofascist child groomer cult had a point about forever wars" end, to Tom Clancy's Elite Squad honest to god "George Soros Funds BLM to destroy the west" conspiracy plot that they had to patch out to be less fascist because it launched only a week after George Floyd's death, to hiring people who post "rapefugee" and "holohoax" memes (this is a personal anecdote and unfortunately considering their lax attitudes to sex crimes I don't have faith in Ubisofts HR team to respond to it), the company is just straight up Hitler.
If you think they are woke you are morbidly incorrect. In fact, they're on your side! Have fun reconciling with that the next time you repost a /v/ greentext about how Red Dead 2 is shit because Arthur Morgan doesn't have a dedicated lynching button or whatever. For everyone else, particularly on this site that tends to lean left, that might be your cue to stop buying their games.
So how about the game?
I played a few hours, it sucks. It's the same Far Cry 3 you already played except now its several magnitudes more annoying. I was on board with the idea of an urban far cry after 9 years of forests and rural areas, maybe make a more consistently fun version of Homefront: The Revolution, but the game is quick to turn around and say, "Fuck you! You're stuck on the mmo tutorial island you dumb fuck! Enjoy your destiny hub and questgivers asshole! Eat shit! Slop is my politics, slop is my life!"
Wow, thanks. I'm never leaving the island and I'll keep that in mind when I review your game on backloggd dot com.
I'm sure you can find a breakdown of the politics of this game but it's funny how thin the illusion is this time. They had to put out a statement that their game about DIY imperialism has no bearing on reality. Cuba is just a mass hallucination, deary. Oh whats that, Cuba, which we established doesn't exist, has a lung cancer vaccine that the US forbids you from trying to get? Well... uhh.... it turns out the vaccine gives you more cancer, because its made out of tobacco or some shit. You know how the cubans love their cigars? quick throw in a few more words the gringos won't understand in the middle of the dialogue. (That's me, by the way! I'm the gringos!)
I feel like Phil Lord has 200 hours in this game. Actually, let's put that to the test: can someone ask him for his playtime in Far Cry 6? I checked and he not once tweeted about the game.
Is there a positive? Sure, but its not even related to the game-- Xcloud runs really well! I put it on a steam deck and minus some oversteering when im aiming its largely playable...
...You should play a better game on it though.
It's bad!
Yeah, sure, they use women and gays in their marketing but you have to understand that it's all in the same way republicans have started to use them; as gizmos from a toybox of image. And the thing about toyboxes is that you'll grow old of them and throw them away.
Otherwise, from Serge Hascoët yelling out "There's a monkey on the screen!" when he first saw the trailer to The Force Awakens, to Tom Clancy's The Division where the first third of the game is curiously about shooting black men who deal extra melee damage, to Far Cry 5's inexplicable "hey maybe the christofascist child groomer cult had a point about forever wars" end, to Tom Clancy's Elite Squad honest to god "George Soros Funds BLM to destroy the west" conspiracy plot that they had to patch out to be less fascist because it launched only a week after George Floyd's death, to hiring people who post "rapefugee" and "holohoax" memes (this is a personal anecdote and unfortunately considering their lax attitudes to sex crimes I don't have faith in Ubisofts HR team to respond to it), the company is just straight up Hitler.
If you think they are woke you are morbidly incorrect. In fact, they're on your side! Have fun reconciling with that the next time you repost a /v/ greentext about how Red Dead 2 is shit because Arthur Morgan doesn't have a dedicated lynching button or whatever. For everyone else, particularly on this site that tends to lean left, that might be your cue to stop buying their games.
So how about the game?
I played a few hours, it sucks. It's the same Far Cry 3 you already played except now its several magnitudes more annoying. I was on board with the idea of an urban far cry after 9 years of forests and rural areas, maybe make a more consistently fun version of Homefront: The Revolution, but the game is quick to turn around and say, "Fuck you! You're stuck on the mmo tutorial island you dumb fuck! Enjoy your destiny hub and questgivers asshole! Eat shit! Slop is my politics, slop is my life!"
Wow, thanks. I'm never leaving the island and I'll keep that in mind when I review your game on backloggd dot com.
I'm sure you can find a breakdown of the politics of this game but it's funny how thin the illusion is this time. They had to put out a statement that their game about DIY imperialism has no bearing on reality. Cuba is just a mass hallucination, deary. Oh whats that, Cuba, which we established doesn't exist, has a lung cancer vaccine that the US forbids you from trying to get? Well... uhh.... it turns out the vaccine gives you more cancer, because its made out of tobacco or some shit. You know how the cubans love their cigars? quick throw in a few more words the gringos won't understand in the middle of the dialogue. (That's me, by the way! I'm the gringos!)
I feel like Phil Lord has 200 hours in this game. Actually, let's put that to the test: can someone ask him for his playtime in Far Cry 6? I checked and he not once tweeted about the game.
Is there a positive? Sure, but its not even related to the game-- Xcloud runs really well! I put it on a steam deck and minus some oversteering when im aiming its largely playable...
...You should play a better game on it though.
It's bad!
3 Comments
The only Ubisoft game I'm still a shooter for these days is Watch Dogs 2 which feels like a game made from the bizarro dimension, like it genuinely put them as a serious rival to Rockstar for a brief moment. I used to love Rainbow Six: Siege too but like all games that focus on their e-sports scene it lost touch with all the things I liked about it.
Assassin's Creed is probably not worth the hassle. Origins and Odyssey are okay (though the latter needs the cheat engine mod that gives you the double XP boost for free) but the fan favorites I find to be truly fucking fustrating. Black Flag no longer has the stranglehold it had on me when I was 14, very fun pirate ship game when you're fucking around in the sandbox but unfortunately the second you enter a mission it becomes the worst game ever made.
Assassin's Creed is probably not worth the hassle. Origins and Odyssey are okay (though the latter needs the cheat engine mod that gives you the double XP boost for free) but the fan favorites I find to be truly fucking fustrating. Black Flag no longer has the stranglehold it had on me when I was 14, very fun pirate ship game when you're fucking around in the sandbox but unfortunately the second you enter a mission it becomes the worst game ever made.
i need to say thats a nice review
fuck ubisoft fr
fuck ubisoft fr
lupsy
3 months ago