Vampire Survivors is the video game equivalent of junk food. The game is excellently crafted in a surprisingly cheap way to bring you the most enjoyment in the shortest amount of time. The game itself is the best of its type, being an addictive game in the same vein as idle games, but with a touch more gameplay than normal. That slight bit of gameplay is all it needs to be able to be an enjoyable experience with everything else in the game being automated. The upgrades presented inside the gameplay itself alter the gameplay dramatically and can give builds that are satisfying, overpowered, and game breaking in a way that is a taste of the sort of game breaking builds you would make in traditional JRPG games in the past. Including roguelike mechanics for getting even more powerful outside of stages with every single run in a way that has been struggled to be replicated by competitors such as HoloCure that struggles to provide the same level of flexibility and enjoyment in its roguelike mechanics.

Vampire Survivors is fast, easy to get into, and can get challenging in the late game without sufficient grinding. By all accounts, this is a fun game that I should be able to recommend to any friend.

However, the game itself is horribly cheap. It preys upon players with its gambling adjacent mechanics such as its treasure chests, it reuses and barely modifies original sprites from other games, as well as using other prominant game art for reference to its artwork in game. It has nothing really unique to add as everything is a parody of Castlevania, and even its music is simply rip-offs of the pixel era of those games.

Vampire Survivors is a junk food. When you're bored and want something quick to play, this game will be servicable and very enjoyable with some quick packed extreme flavor. Though, it is clearly unhealthy for you and not going to be nearly the same as eating at a fantastic restaurant for a masterclass steak. Though, with its cheap price point and lack of micro-DLC and actual real world gambling or loot-boxes, I can't really look at this as something negative. It had wrapped me around its finger for my 100% completion of the game. Sometimes you really just want to eat your favorite flavor of chips, health be damned. Just remember to have a proper meal afterward.

Reviewed on Jan 15, 2023


1 Comment


1 year ago

“The video game equivalent of junk food” i have never heard it described better holy shit