Sam Lake crept into my house, set up a full suite of cameras, and then for the next 13 years, meticulously analysed my day to day life. He jotted down my favourite game genres (Resident Evil-style survival horror), TV shows (Twin Peaks), the few bits of Control I liked (the live action bits and Ahti), my weaknesses (extremely pretentious stories about stories inside of stories), my fear of the elderly, "oh he likes Adult Swim style infomercials too, WE CAN USE THAT".

All so he could make the perfect game. Alan Wake 2 is that game.

He ripped me off!
I demand compensation!