Irreverent and dead set in its ways, Dragon's Dogma II sets out to simply be Dragon's Dogma 1, but bigger and better in most ways, and a little bit worse in some others. A game by and for sickos that buckles every other open-world game trend and does its own thing; you are not here to climb map towers or blindly follow a series of objective icons, you are here to get dropkicked by ogres, thrown off cliffs by harpies, dragged and mangled by wolves. You will plan your itinerary based on the direction an oxcart can take you, and you will see the frustration of a cyclops-induced botched travel by cart superseded by the joy of discovering a cave system you had missed on your last trek. You will launch goblins into the stratosphere either by hitting them with a duoblade or conjuring a massive tornado. You will manhandle old men. You will run back and forth across cities like a headless chicken, carefully considering if that ferrystone is worth it. You will deck your pawn in the sluttiest outfits imaginable and see the cash come rolling in. You will get into arguments over microtransactions on the internet.

It's Dragon's Dogma, baby.