I walked from the living room to my bedroom to start writing this review. When I went back to the living room, a cutscene was still playing, twice. Anyway...

I'll admit, if it weren't for the game being on deep markdown, coupled with my bizarre feelings of obligation to be at least somewhat knowledgeable on all pop culture matters of my favorite types of media, I never would have even considered playing this game. Nonetheless: holy hot shit, is this really what "triple A single player experiences" are today?

The gameplay is miserable, the characters are insufferable. I constantly feel like I'm being treated like an idiot. This game makes me feel like everything after the Super Nintendo was a mistake.

I want to emphasize in this particular example that a half star rating from me does not necessarily mean that the game is completely without merit; the environments are fine, for example. A rating like this just means that this is a game that I deeply regret having played.