I'm obsessed with this game. I think everyone should play this game. That's not a joke. I want everyone to fire up an ISO of this on Duckstation and play it with your favorite controller. After you're all good and comfortable, get ready for the fight of your fucking life.

You may think you know what bad controls are for a video game. You've played games with bad button layouts, awful button delay, wonky sensitivity. When your input commands are not reciprocated, it feels like a fundamental disagreement between you and the software. Blasto takes this sentiment of disagreement and turns it into all out war.

The controls of this game are so bad, the levels are designed with it in mind. There's hardly any closed spaces in this game. Paths are wide as so to allow you to guide the vessel of sins, Blasto (R.I.P the goat Phil Hartman) across this virtual plane. I'm not going to even talk about platforming. All I can say is when you successfully grab onto a ledge, Blasto himself remarks it as an incredible achievement.

It is actually easier to kill somebody in real life and deal with the psychological ramifications of such than it is to land a shot on an enemy in this game. Most times, you have to stop moving, press L1 to aim and hope that your shots land (because sometimes they just don't) while tanking damage the entire time.

Beat two levels with this game. Just two. Then go back to your normal life and play your games with a renewed sense of appreciation for what is really good or bad controls -- akin to having a near-death experience and savoring every moment of life thereafter.

Remember, if you think you know bad controls, Blasto is coming for that ass bro.