Howdy howdy y'all, it's your bestest and most favoritest star in all of Steamywood, DA NOISE! Can you smell what the Noise ain't cookin'?! Cause I can sure smell what Peppino was cookin', yowie wowie what a stench. This game blew so much hot ass before I showed up didn't it?! Could ya believe it?! They left me as just the third boss. THE THIRD BOSS. Me?! The Noise?! Boise, Idaho's favorite boi with the most poise?! There's a new director in town baby, and the academy's gonna be unprepared for this greatness. They're gonna give me a gajillion Oscars, and the Dorito Pope will be giving me every game of the year award for every year going forward and every past year too, because everything else is gonna be trash in comparison. Why bother making anything else? The Noise is here.
Woag. lights giant cigar with fancy zippo lighter with his own face on it
You see, The Noise don't play by anyone's rules, no sir/ma'am/mx. When The Noise plays golf, golf is actually played by The Noise. Numbers are made up and points don't matter, so who cares? Every burg is a primo burg when The Noise cooks. If you're not trying, you're not cheating. What if The Noise doesn't feel like racing? What about that ya stupid rocking horse? How about I give you a nuclear wedgie instead and beat the prize out of ya?! I ain't deliverin' no pizza, ya damn gnomes can get it yourself. That shit is positively abhorrent I must say! (sips tea) I'll destroy every house that actively orders that garbage. Don't cry to me when you see your fancy gnome cottage go flying to the third moon of Jupiter. YOU DID THIS! Take it from me kid, you'll go a lot further in this business when you see it the noisy way.
Ya see, I ain't like that lousy pastry chef, I'm a handsome and incredibly tall man with a college degree and a very beautiful girlfriend. I taught that Tony Bird guy how to do the 900 McNuttly Twist so he could become a Pro Skater, and I always know to shoot first and ask questions later. The personification of chaos, a chaos that Jack Garland wants none of. However you gotta know kid, that since you're no longer playing a shit chef with shit expectations, there comes much bigger demands from someone as POWERFUL and GOOD LOOKING as I am. You see, The Noise ALWAYS S-Ranks at minimum, I don't care what my producers say about being nicer about the lower ranks. I took a massive paycut to say what I fuckin' said if you ever D-rank in my general vicinity. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IN FOR IF THAT SCENARIO HAPPENS, CAPEESH?!? A-rank may be acceptable to you, but if it were up to me it'd stand for ASS! I take nothing else, ya hear?! Now if you excuse me, the GF is a-waitin' for me. Don't be having any skillet issues on me, or there's gonna be a bit of a crockpot conundrum.
HIT MY MUSIC.
With Love to his adoring fans,
Your boi the Noise
XOXOXOXOXOXO
P.S. Woag.
We
Oughta
Assbeat
Gnomes
Woag. lights giant cigar with fancy zippo lighter with his own face on it
You see, The Noise don't play by anyone's rules, no sir/ma'am/mx. When The Noise plays golf, golf is actually played by The Noise. Numbers are made up and points don't matter, so who cares? Every burg is a primo burg when The Noise cooks. If you're not trying, you're not cheating. What if The Noise doesn't feel like racing? What about that ya stupid rocking horse? How about I give you a nuclear wedgie instead and beat the prize out of ya?! I ain't deliverin' no pizza, ya damn gnomes can get it yourself. That shit is positively abhorrent I must say! (sips tea) I'll destroy every house that actively orders that garbage. Don't cry to me when you see your fancy gnome cottage go flying to the third moon of Jupiter. YOU DID THIS! Take it from me kid, you'll go a lot further in this business when you see it the noisy way.
Ya see, I ain't like that lousy pastry chef, I'm a handsome and incredibly tall man with a college degree and a very beautiful girlfriend. I taught that Tony Bird guy how to do the 900 McNuttly Twist so he could become a Pro Skater, and I always know to shoot first and ask questions later. The personification of chaos, a chaos that Jack Garland wants none of. However you gotta know kid, that since you're no longer playing a shit chef with shit expectations, there comes much bigger demands from someone as POWERFUL and GOOD LOOKING as I am. You see, The Noise ALWAYS S-Ranks at minimum, I don't care what my producers say about being nicer about the lower ranks. I took a massive paycut to say what I fuckin' said if you ever D-rank in my general vicinity. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IN FOR IF THAT SCENARIO HAPPENS, CAPEESH?!? A-rank may be acceptable to you, but if it were up to me it'd stand for ASS! I take nothing else, ya hear?! Now if you excuse me, the GF is a-waitin' for me. Don't be having any skillet issues on me, or there's gonna be a bit of a crockpot conundrum.
HIT MY MUSIC.
With Love to his adoring fans,
Your boi the Noise
XOXOXOXOXOXO
P.S. Woag.
We
Oughta
Assbeat
Gnomes