Curiosity is one of the biggest weaknesses of humanity, when something even remotely piques our interest it draws us in closer and closer so we can get a good sniff to find out if it smells like a gentle touch of lilac or a heavy-handed jab to the nose in the form of cow manure.
Needless to say, I heard some things about Spyro Orange. I had a genuine interest in this game when it was new. Yes, despite the horrific mental damage that Enter the Dragonfly did to me, I still wanted to see my friend Spyro succeeed. As a matter of fact, I always had a soft spot for the Crash Bandicoot baddies. I didn't like Crash himself as much as Spyro, but Tiny Tiger, Dingodile and Ripper Roo are all A+ Bebop/Rocksteady type henchmen and I always felt Spyro lacked that kind of reoccurring villain to latch onto. Gnasty Gnorc was cool but didn't really do anything, Ripto was neat though his entire legacy was besmirched by his reappearances in the crappy games, and The Sorceress is about as overly-generic as you can get. Imagine Spyro if he had to fight Dr. Neo Cortex and his henchmen! It'd be pretty damn cool! I'd love to see boss fights with Dingodile, Tiny and perhaps even Ripper Roo! It'd be fantastic! The best of both worlds!
Unfortunately, as I booted up Spyro Orange I was greeted with the kind of low-effort one would expect from a Shrek game on the same console and it smells just as bad. No nice hint of lilac here, just a whole bunch of rancid stench from awful looking graphics and gameplay reminiscent of Action 52 if it had a sidescrolling hub world using the carcass of a beloved childhood icon. It's sad to see it. Even more depressing is that classic Crash bosses don't even appear in this game, so the thought of Spyro butting heads with Tiny Tiger is once again left to my imagination and shitty fanfiction.
I dunno what games saved me from going the whole way of putting hard earned chore money towards this, but it would've been a terrible reminder for little Vee. This isn't your Spyro, he's long dead. Say goodbye. Goodbye Spyro...rest in peace my friend.
Needless to say, I heard some things about Spyro Orange. I had a genuine interest in this game when it was new. Yes, despite the horrific mental damage that Enter the Dragonfly did to me, I still wanted to see my friend Spyro succeeed. As a matter of fact, I always had a soft spot for the Crash Bandicoot baddies. I didn't like Crash himself as much as Spyro, but Tiny Tiger, Dingodile and Ripper Roo are all A+ Bebop/Rocksteady type henchmen and I always felt Spyro lacked that kind of reoccurring villain to latch onto. Gnasty Gnorc was cool but didn't really do anything, Ripto was neat though his entire legacy was besmirched by his reappearances in the crappy games, and The Sorceress is about as overly-generic as you can get. Imagine Spyro if he had to fight Dr. Neo Cortex and his henchmen! It'd be pretty damn cool! I'd love to see boss fights with Dingodile, Tiny and perhaps even Ripper Roo! It'd be fantastic! The best of both worlds!
Unfortunately, as I booted up Spyro Orange I was greeted with the kind of low-effort one would expect from a Shrek game on the same console and it smells just as bad. No nice hint of lilac here, just a whole bunch of rancid stench from awful looking graphics and gameplay reminiscent of Action 52 if it had a sidescrolling hub world using the carcass of a beloved childhood icon. It's sad to see it. Even more depressing is that classic Crash bosses don't even appear in this game, so the thought of Spyro butting heads with Tiny Tiger is once again left to my imagination and shitty fanfiction.
I dunno what games saved me from going the whole way of putting hard earned chore money towards this, but it would've been a terrible reminder for little Vee. This isn't your Spyro, he's long dead. Say goodbye. Goodbye Spyro...rest in peace my friend.