I vividly remember standing in EB Games with Knights of the Old Republic in my left hand and Doom 3 in my right. I had only enough money saved up to pick up one game for the foreseeable future and this was a real game-time decision. I had walked into the store with the intention of picking up Doom, having spent many months pouring over the unbelievable graphics in screenshots on GameSpy and wherever. But when I was there, scanning the shelves, the good word of mouth of KotOR stopped me.

I stood deliberating for a solid twenty minutes. I remember standing there so long I became aware of how long I was standing there and how ridiculous it was. Just choose one already! But I had this anxiety that whichever one I chose would be the wrong one.

Eventually, perhaps just fatigued by indecision, I put Doom back. I remember the hesitation. I came here for it, after all. I played the demo and loved it! I lived for Doom II! I fucked up.

Of course, when I got home and installed KotOR that feeling was forever washed away. This was, and still is, one of my all time greatest gaming decisions. This game was revolutionary to me. The impact of my decisions, the weight of my relationships with my party, the writing, the builds! Developing Jedi powers was incredibly satisfying. I remember going down the Dark Side — when I was younger I'd always do the evil path because initially being allowed to be the villain was completely novel. I recall how satisfying those powers were and how I felt bad for betraying everyone. I thought the twist was awesome, and I remember the evil ending was lame. Having the power to double cross people or sabotage missions and develop bonds with my party changed a lot about how I thought about RPGs - yes these elements are present in other D&D based games but BioWare's cinematic approach cut deeper. I felt like I was in a really interesting part of Star Wars lore.

Now I have this game on my phone.