The best part of this game was its marketing, but guess what? I DON'T love the glove! I think he controls like crap, and trying to negotiate a bunch of platforming puzzles while wrestling with Nintendo 64 ball physics feels awful. My earliest memories of this game were getting invited over to my bully's house and thinking he wanted to extend an olive branch and get along, but you know what he did? He made my play Glover! Greg, you fuck, if I ever see you again then they'll find me on national TV trying to fit a bloodstained glover onto my hand to prove I did it (Provisional score: Abandoned)

"Homophobic Diamond is Unbreakable" I say to the cheers and jeers of thousands on Twitter dot com. The fools, they're just making my numbers go up!

I think people have a hard time parsing the text of this game and getting an accurate read on its messaging and themes, but the biggest dog I have in this fight is that I think Chie is cool, and I don't engage in Persona discourse as a rule of thumb. I have no strong desire to replay Persona 4 anyway, its glacial opening is a strong enough deterrent without having to endure Teddie and Yosuke. That's not to say I dislike it, P4 did introduce me to the broader Megaten franchise and my favorite game of all time, Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne, by proxy. I just feel the least incentivized to revisit it. It's fine, but there's other Personas I'd hit up first. (Provisional score: 3.5/5)

Proof positive that the only thing you need to make a very average game great is co-op. The improved matchmaking system allowed me to run through this game (twice!) with a buddy of mine, and I had a blast. For a while, I was very ardent defender of Dark Souls III, but I eventually tried the game solo and... did not have as good of a time. Maybe part of my problem was that I tried to platinum it quite a ways out from launch, so I had to dedicate a significant amount of my playthrough running laps outside of Anor Londo for severed ears, something I did both on PC and PS4 because I guess I thought I might like it more a second time? I did not! Anyway, beating Gael after my friend died and with a sliver of my life left felt like a perfect conclusion to the Dark Souls trilogy, and no mediocre solo run can take that away. (Provisional scores: Solo - 3/5, co-op 5/5)

Looking at the scores my mutuals gave this game, and the barometer is all over the place. By "all over the place" I mean "flicking wildly between 1 and 3." Everyone played this on the PlayStation, but I'm a freak and I beat it on the Sega Saturn. I couldn't tell you what the differences are between the two versions, but my opinion of Alien Trilogy isn't that much different from everyone else's. Shooters like Duke Nukem 3D, PowerSlave, and the critically acclaimed Congo: The Movie were coming out around this time, and Alien Trilogy offers up very little outside of its license. I like shooting at Xenomorphs, but I don't think this game even cracks my short list of "must play" FPS games for the Saturn. (Provisional score: 3/5)

I have to drive these invaders from my homeland and get vengeance for my father... but first, I must follow these footprints! gets on all fours and starts sniffing at the ground like a hog.


There's 25 hours of this, but you can apply an Akira Kurosawa filter, so everyone loves it (Provisional score: 2/5)

Feels like it gets halfway to the arcadey fun of Rogue Squadron and halfway to being a very technical flight sim, and I think that's a perfectly fine balance, especially for the price tag (you can pick this up for like, 2.50 digitally and they were practically giving physical copies away for a while.) I feel like this is the least talked about the EA Star Wars games because it's perfectly competent, but less interesting than the Respawn Jedi games and not a unique disaster like Battlefront. (Provisional score: 3.5/5)

Let's not go anywhere, Pikachu. I just want to stay in and watch Slowpoke's Weather Report. (Provisional score: 2.5/5)