Guard over there! Look, a guard! Guard over there! Guard! Look, a Guard! Piece of shit drill! Guard over there! Guard! Guard over there! Guard over there! Gaurd! Look, a guard! It's a civ! Guard over there!

I have a tendency to buy new releases, whether at launch or after months of carefully monitoring prices for a good deal, but Payday 3 was the rare "eh, I'm gonna get a month of Game Pass" game. Not like you can do crimes with bots, this is online only, and when the servers inevitably shut down it's game over for everybody. Ah, the future of ownership.

Thankfully, I wasn't stuck partnering up with a bunch of random weirdos (for the most part.) The majority of my time in Payday 3 was spent panic spraying a full clip into crowds of civilians doing heists with my good friend Larry Davis, and one session with Appreciations and TransWitchSammy. I think your mileage with these kinds of games is dependent in no small part to who you play it with, and I had good company throughout.

The game itself is fine but, as of this writing, also feels stuck in the same state a lot of online-only multiplayer games are near launch. It doesn't feel robust, having only eight missions which you can burn through pretty quickly. So quickly that you'll likely tire of Payday 3 well before working your way through the game's lengthy weapon and skill trees. Though there are multiple ways to approach each mission, they are not deep enough to keep the game engaging for any reasonable person to earn a bunch of high level unlocks. Personally, I made it to about level 25 before I fell off.

The cost of unlockables and the amount of money you earn playing missions also feels wildly unbalanced, though it's in the player's favor. Unless you're constantly shooting civilians and intentionally botching missions, you'll earn so much cash that you can freely buy every gun and mod the second they become available. It will be a matter of personal preference, but I do wish Payday 3 made me consider what I could afford and what was best for my build, but as it is, you have no reason to not buy everything. It's liberating, but also makes progression feel a bit thoughtless.

The missions themselves are fun, even if they aren't fun enough to play more than three or four times apiece. There's nothing as crazy as the meth lab from Payday 2 but they all feel distinct enough. Some common tasks like standing in circles to boost wireless signals do feel a bit arbitrary and incongruous with your primary objectives, but I still had a very good time overall. I just wish there was more.

As with any live service game, all of this could change. No doubt Starbreeze intends to add more missions, more guns, more operators... It's just a matter of when, how far they're willing to go, and what the life of the game will end up being.
In a way, I feel weird passing judgement on something so amorphous, especially at such an early stage, but Deep Silver is charging money for this right now. It's not free-to-play, the closest you'll get to that through any legitimate means is if you managed to stack a bunch of one-dollar subscriptions to Game Pass, and even then, it's not like you really own it. This is a long walk to say that while I love pointing directly at a guard's face with the homies while whispering "Guard! Look, it's a guard!" I'm not sure it's good enough to justify its current price tag, but also maybe it will be a year down the line. Who knows!

Piece of shit drill. Fuckaroonie.

Reviewed on Oct 17, 2023


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