I've considered changing a few words from my Clash at Demonhead review, submitting it, and calling it a day. Zero Wing, much like Demonhead, is a title whose memetic legacy is arguably more important than the game itself. You've seen All Your Base. We've all seen it. It's burned into each of our brains, residing in our minds and taking up valuable space better spent remembering literally anything else. I can no longer recall the name of my first pet, all that exists in place of that memory is "take off every zig." My existence is pitiable and putting me down could be considered a charity.
You have to understand, I played this game because I was in dire need of an exorcism. It had been well over a decade since the meme first entered into me, by this point Zero Wing had built up a mystic quality about it, one I had to desperately decode and expel. Would I walk away with a better understanding of the meme, a genuine appreciation for the game that spawned it, or would it destroy me? The answer is, of course, none of the above. I wasted my time.
Zero Wing is a very ho-hum shooter. Certainly not a bullet hell and as such a lot more approachable for people like me who aren't very skilled at shoot-em-ups but are drawn to them regardless of their skill level. It should then appeal to me that Zero Wing is fairly easy, but I actually find myself getting bored of it quickly. It's fine, I suppose. It plays well enough. It's just lacking in that kinetic energy even a lot of its contemporaries have in spades. It's like, yeah sure, I could be playing Zero Wing, or I could be playing R-Type III. 100% of the time I'm playing R-Type.
Literally nobody would talk about or remember this game today if not for that silly little video. Not because it's bad, but because it just doesn't do anything particularly special outside of having a poorly translated opening. I was really hoping that, at the very least, the game would perhaps contain more cutscenes with equally (though not as remembered) bizarre dialog, but it doesn't. It's been milked for all its worth, and if you've experienced the meme (which, again, we all have) then you've already absorbed anything of value from Zero Wing.
I am going to go dig a hole in my backyard now and I'm going to lay down in the hole and if anyone wants to shovel dirt on top of me while I'm in the hole... so be it.
You have to understand, I played this game because I was in dire need of an exorcism. It had been well over a decade since the meme first entered into me, by this point Zero Wing had built up a mystic quality about it, one I had to desperately decode and expel. Would I walk away with a better understanding of the meme, a genuine appreciation for the game that spawned it, or would it destroy me? The answer is, of course, none of the above. I wasted my time.
Zero Wing is a very ho-hum shooter. Certainly not a bullet hell and as such a lot more approachable for people like me who aren't very skilled at shoot-em-ups but are drawn to them regardless of their skill level. It should then appeal to me that Zero Wing is fairly easy, but I actually find myself getting bored of it quickly. It's fine, I suppose. It plays well enough. It's just lacking in that kinetic energy even a lot of its contemporaries have in spades. It's like, yeah sure, I could be playing Zero Wing, or I could be playing R-Type III. 100% of the time I'm playing R-Type.
Literally nobody would talk about or remember this game today if not for that silly little video. Not because it's bad, but because it just doesn't do anything particularly special outside of having a poorly translated opening. I was really hoping that, at the very least, the game would perhaps contain more cutscenes with equally (though not as remembered) bizarre dialog, but it doesn't. It's been milked for all its worth, and if you've experienced the meme (which, again, we all have) then you've already absorbed anything of value from Zero Wing.
I am going to go dig a hole in my backyard now and I'm going to lay down in the hole and if anyone wants to shovel dirt on top of me while I'm in the hole... so be it.
2 Comments
It's very possible it does and I'm just not remembering that, but yeah. Generally I recall it just being very easy and not doing anything too interesting.
Vee
2 years ago