"We have Contra at home."

The Contra at home:




Contra Force is the one Contra sequel you likely forgot exists, mostly because it's so bland and forgettable that there's no reason to commit it to memory a second longer than it takes to say "Huh. Contra Force." Every review on this site for it is, at best, a sentence long. Nobody is willing to give this game a deep dive, really tear it apart and get into the guts of the thing, talk about its mechanical strengths and shortcomings. Or, rather, they can't because there just ain't much to talk about. Have you ever played a NES run-and-gun with really bad slowdown? Congrats, you've played Contra Force.

I have the most words logged on this site for Contra Force and it was just to tell you why nobody ever talks about it. I think this qualifies me enough to log this game as having been mastered, even though I absolutely did not do that.