I was born only within a few months of Michael Jackson's Bad, one of the most influential and acclaimed albums to ever be released. However, it was his follow-up, Dangerous, that I've always held the most reverence for. Not only were the videos for Remember the Time (starring Eddie Murphy) and Black or White getting a lot of play on MTV when I was young, but my mom wore down her Dangerous cassette a little more each time we went for a drive. Her Ford Aerostar had some kind of coolant leak, causing a sickeningly sweet smell to constantly waft through the AC while Jam blared to-and-from daycare. Ah, the sounds and smells of the 90s...
Between inhaling noxious fumes and listening to the King of Pop during my formative years, it's little wonder I've turned out as screwed up as I am today. When you've heard Who Is It fifteen-hundred million times between the ages of four and nine, it ends up sinking in and becoming an inseparable part of you. A lot of my musical taste has been informed by Jackson's work. And video games. Oh man, what if there was a Michael Jackson video game?
So, as part of my oft-invoked bucket list, I decided I should play Michael Jackson's Moonwalker, a game based on the film of the same name which released in 1990 for the Sega Genesis, and which I missed out on entirely during the height of Jacksonmania. It is fondly remembered by those who played it for being fucking garbage.
You control Michael through several insipid levels full of closets that may or may not contain children kidnapped by the evil Mr. Big. Michael has to save them by doing little hee-hee's that damage enemies, or by forcing enemies to dance in unison (this includes dogs, which is the highlight of the game. I am awarding Moonwalker a full star for the dancing dogs.) That's really all there is to it. In fact, it brings back memories of Wrath of the Black Manta, which is very similar in structure, though overall worse in quality. The only time this gameplay loop breaks is for the last boss fight, which has Michael inexplicably chasing Mr. Big through space in a shoot-em-up sequence. It is easily one of the most out-of-left-field boss encounters I can think of from this era, not just because of how wacky it is, but because the game had all but put my brain to sleep until the last ten minutes, at which point I was awoken with all the clang and fury of pots and pans being bashed together.
Moonwalker's entire soundtrack is composed of Michael Jackson's most popular tracks, and while this should be a significant feature of the game, it is instead an albatross hung around its neck, just dragging the whole thing down. The argument has been made that Jackson stepped away from Sonic the Hedgehog 3 over dissatisfaction for the Genesis' hardware, and if I heard music I made piped through like this, I'd probably develop the same prejudice against it. The counterpoint to this is that he was forced out by Sega due to his emerging controversies, but I see no reason why both can't be true. In any case, Jackson's songs are butchered here, and they don't always play in the levels you'd expect them to. How are you going to have a whole entire graveyard level and NOT play Thriller? Terrible.
Fortunately, there does exist an arcade version of Moonwalker that is much better. You know, assuming you're in the market for a playable Michael Jackson video game. The arcade Moonwalker is a lot more varied, has better renditions of Jackson's music, and of course benefits from greater graphical fidelity. It's a strange game, but one I'd actually recommend.
I've been spending a lot of time browsing Prop Store Auction's Rick Baker collection, pouring over the horrors of rotting screen-used props for something that might catch my interest, or that would perhaps fit my dainty 5'6" frame. I keep coming back to the cast of Robo-Michael from the Moonwalker film. I regret to inform you all that this has become my grail, my obsession, and that I will never be whole without it.
Radiator fumes have done irreparable damage to my mental development and I am paying for it every day.
Between inhaling noxious fumes and listening to the King of Pop during my formative years, it's little wonder I've turned out as screwed up as I am today. When you've heard Who Is It fifteen-hundred million times between the ages of four and nine, it ends up sinking in and becoming an inseparable part of you. A lot of my musical taste has been informed by Jackson's work. And video games. Oh man, what if there was a Michael Jackson video game?
So, as part of my oft-invoked bucket list, I decided I should play Michael Jackson's Moonwalker, a game based on the film of the same name which released in 1990 for the Sega Genesis, and which I missed out on entirely during the height of Jacksonmania. It is fondly remembered by those who played it for being fucking garbage.
You control Michael through several insipid levels full of closets that may or may not contain children kidnapped by the evil Mr. Big. Michael has to save them by doing little hee-hee's that damage enemies, or by forcing enemies to dance in unison (this includes dogs, which is the highlight of the game. I am awarding Moonwalker a full star for the dancing dogs.) That's really all there is to it. In fact, it brings back memories of Wrath of the Black Manta, which is very similar in structure, though overall worse in quality. The only time this gameplay loop breaks is for the last boss fight, which has Michael inexplicably chasing Mr. Big through space in a shoot-em-up sequence. It is easily one of the most out-of-left-field boss encounters I can think of from this era, not just because of how wacky it is, but because the game had all but put my brain to sleep until the last ten minutes, at which point I was awoken with all the clang and fury of pots and pans being bashed together.
Moonwalker's entire soundtrack is composed of Michael Jackson's most popular tracks, and while this should be a significant feature of the game, it is instead an albatross hung around its neck, just dragging the whole thing down. The argument has been made that Jackson stepped away from Sonic the Hedgehog 3 over dissatisfaction for the Genesis' hardware, and if I heard music I made piped through like this, I'd probably develop the same prejudice against it. The counterpoint to this is that he was forced out by Sega due to his emerging controversies, but I see no reason why both can't be true. In any case, Jackson's songs are butchered here, and they don't always play in the levels you'd expect them to. How are you going to have a whole entire graveyard level and NOT play Thriller? Terrible.
Fortunately, there does exist an arcade version of Moonwalker that is much better. You know, assuming you're in the market for a playable Michael Jackson video game. The arcade Moonwalker is a lot more varied, has better renditions of Jackson's music, and of course benefits from greater graphical fidelity. It's a strange game, but one I'd actually recommend.
I've been spending a lot of time browsing Prop Store Auction's Rick Baker collection, pouring over the horrors of rotting screen-used props for something that might catch my interest, or that would perhaps fit my dainty 5'6" frame. I keep coming back to the cast of Robo-Michael from the Moonwalker film. I regret to inform you all that this has become my grail, my obsession, and that I will never be whole without it.
Radiator fumes have done irreparable damage to my mental development and I am paying for it every day.
Vee
1 year ago
I quite like the renditions in this lol.