Whenever I put down the plastic and nearly broken toy gun attached to the House of the Dead at my local movie theatre, I always left slightly dissatisfied. Not because there was any lack of zombie shooting fun, or campy 90s dialog, or really tough boss battles that demanded you dump your lawn mowing quarters into it. No. I was disappointed that I couldn't also hone my typing skills while saving the world from the evil Goldman.

Everyone is well aware at this point that Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing was just not edgy enough for we-the-teens in 1999, so Sega modified the lore of the House of the Dead extended universe to solve for this problem. They posited that the agents in House of the Dead would not be carrying guns, but rather a large apparatus that strapped onto the characters and also would shoot bullets if you typed a word fast enough. Isn't that harder than pulling a trigger? Perhaps for someone without keyboard prowess, but not for Typing of the Dead's titular heroes: James and Gary.

You progress through the game by shooting zombies after quickly unloading words like 'Octopus', 'Flea' or phrases like 'Collect the Stamps'. Long story short, if you can type, you can win.

All in all, this game taught me to type, taught me to love, and taught me to cry. I don't know what else you would need from a video game.