The game starts on an incredibly high note:
-Sets up a peaceful life in Hyrule
-All of the sudden everything goes to shit
-Your friends might be dead
-You wake up in jail god-knows-where
-You're a wolf
-You suddenly are femdom'd to slavery by a demon brat
-You realize the whole kingdom is in some deep shit
-But Midna doesnt' even care so, she sents you to retrieve pieces of a weapon of mass destruction to help her with a civil war in hell

Then the game decides that instead of being Femdom Drakengard the game should go back to being a very vanilla Zelda game (probably Miyamoto's fault, call it a hunch) so the whole wolf thing becomes anecdotical in an adventure game with some good moments that unfortunately is way too fucking long and doesn't have enough Midna (a shame since everytime she becomes the center of the game, it's genuinely great).

I had some good times with Twilight Princess, but as the game went on it didn't really push the stakes design-wise: it reverted all the things that made the initial concept so intriguing and I didn't feel like it managed to turn up the heat in any significant way outside of Midna's story scenes and some occasional cool setpieces/events. It slowly flatlines with the occasional surprise like the Snowpeak Ruins, which is the best 3D Zelda dungeon I've ever played, but aside from that the game feels like going through the motions. Everything is very masticated to avoid frustrating the player, which makes it free of the low points of Ocarina but also removes some of the magic of its high points, it's very predictable and formulaic in my opinion ( also feel the same way about other Nintendo games so, take it with a grain of salt) and considering how long it is, it ended up being frustrating seeing my savefile game time go up while my enjoyment slowly decreased.

I don't know, Ocarina has great moments but I found the moment-to-moment gameplay lacking, Majora's is really cool but has some shit, Wind Waker is lovely but it's way too easy for me, and I felt like Twilight Princess wastes its own concept for the sake of "Miyamoto please don't send Zelda to the graveyard of dead Nintendo franchises". I guess I'm not a fan. I'm saddened because everyone around me loves the series and on paper I agree that it has some cool stuff and aren't bad games at all, but I can't connect with them for the life of me. Hopefully your experience is better than mine.

Reviewed on Aug 23, 2023


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