Alright, it’s my big debut! I’m Tails, Sonic’s best fr--immediately gets kidnapped
So, yeah! Here’s where stuff gets real for me! And what a way to start? I gotta tell you, playing a game where the hedgehog I love is desperately trying to save me from his point of view is certainly an interesting emotional experience? Like, you’d think it would be a little empowering, but my feelings so far have largely been “oh, honey :c” so uh, yeah. There’s that.
I’ve belligerently insisted that the 16-bit version of this is the greatest love story ever told, and I’m 100% right about that fight me, but I’m going to be pretty interested in how the 8-bit version plays into that! Like, fighting just as fiercely to rescue me as he does to save literally the entire world isn’t not romantic? Actually, yeah, I think I kinda solved this one by thinking out loud. This is the equally romantic prelude to the 16-bit version’s Greatest Love Story Ever Told.
Now that that’s taken care of, I also wanna say oh my gosh this is more like it! So, I definitely did play through this back when I was playing through all the 8-bit and GameBoy Advance games. I think I’m remembering that I hadn’t played the 8-bit version of Sonic 1 since there were only three new zones and I hadn’t heard good things about it, but yeah.
My memories of the 8-bit version of Sonic 2 weren’t super clear since I had only played it the one time (other than of course occasionally playing the Game Gear version whenever I was hanging out with a friend who had a Game Gear). So after my experiences with 8-bit Sonic 1 I was worried that the 8-bit games were just gonna inspire all kinds of whining from me, but thank goodness, they clearly made major strides by the time they made Sonic 2. It’s a lot more polished, and plays a lot more like a Sonic game should. There’s still no spindash, which is fine, but this is way more like playing the Genesis version of Sonic 1 than it is like playing the Master System version of Sonic 1, if that makes any sense.
So, yeah! Here we go with this one. Oh, one more thing. Sonic! Help!
Underground Zone (1/30)
This is the first time (and one of the only times) a 2D Sonic game doesn’t start with a green level! So that’s interesting! And this is a pretty great first level! Like, it’s not super challenging or anything but it’s a good introduction. The only truly challenging part is making the jump off the mine cart in Act 2 to stay on the higher path so you can get the Chaos Emerald. I’m sure people who have played this way more than me have no issue with that, but that was the one part so far where I used a save state at the beginning of the act.
It looks like we’ve got ringless boss zones again, which is fine when the boss is actually fair! It makes sense to add a little pressure to those, as long as the bosses themselves aren’t overly punishing like they are in 8-bit Sonic 1. So yeah, in this one Robotnik saves you from falling into a pit of lava for some reason, and drops you on a slope with some giant claws at the bottom of it. He then lobs bombs at you which you just have to avoid until they hit the claws 6 times, and then he tries to ram you with the Egg-O-Matic and you get out of the way so he rams the claws instead. Pretty straightforward first boss!
But yeah, this whole thing was just a huge breath of fresh air after 8-bit Sonic 1! Can’t wait to see if things stay on that track! Get it, track? Because of all the mine carts in this level?
Sky High Zone (1/31)
This is where the hang-gliders from the cover come into play. And they are frustrating as heck. But shrug. Feels like something I would enjoy if I were actually there.
Hey, speaking of cover art (sort of), at first I was loving the cute art of me and Sonic on each level’s title screen, but then something kinda hit me. It shows us together in these zones, something that’s not happening obviously since the whole point of the game is kinda that I got kidnapped and Sonic is trying to rescue me.
The non-diegetic reason for this is obviously just “hey, you’re also on the cover, they want to show off the new character.” But if you needed something that makes story sense... yeah. That’s Sonic imagining me being with him because he misses me. So. Pardon me while I just pick up the pieces of my broken heart over here.
This zone is fine, I guess? Like, I feel inclined to moan and whine about the hang-gliders, but I also fully acknowledge that could be a me problem. And running around on clouds (and bouncing on some of them!!) in Act 2 was pretty dang cool, though it’s a bit frustrating that the ones you can walk on and the ones you can’t walk on look virtually identical? You find the Chaos Emerald by bouncing up some of those clouds towards the end of the level, so it’s cool that it’s kinda worked into the level’s overall gimmick!
The boss is... uh... interesting? First you fight some tiny bird robots, then have to blow up their eggs (???) before they hatch more that you have to deal with. Then you fight a big bird robot? Like, it’s fine, I guess? But it kinda seems like this game is just totally eschewing the Egg-O-Matic bosses, which I have mixed (and mostly bad) feelings about.
Anyway, this level was a bit frustrating for me, but I like the concept and the aesthetic, so it has that going for it.
Aqua Lake Zone (1/31)
I don’t even have to say it, do I?
Too bad. I’m gonna anyway. I DO NOT LIKE MY HEDGEHOG BEING UNDERWATER!
Act 1 is straightforward, with a mix of above water and underwater areas, but you can actually skip most of the underwater parts by skipping over the water with Sonic spins! Which, frankly, rules! Act 2 is an underwater labyrinth, which, nooooooooooooo. You find the Emerald in one of those maze thingies where you get zoomed around. Act 2 also has a ridiculously difficult bit where you have to ride up in a bubble avoiding badniks and shooting spears, and it’s just... ugh. Not a fan.
The boss is... yeah. I guess they’re all just gonna be Like That, huh? This one is a sea lion. No, it doesn’t corner you and demand a civil debate. It just inflates some ball-shaped bombs that you can hit before he launches them to do damage to him. Rather obliging of him, really.
Can’t say this zone (or the other zones so far) gave me any particular kinfeels. Most of the feelings I’m getting from this game so far are just... how weird (in a kind of good way I think?) it is to be playing as my hedgehog coming to rescue me. I mean, I guess you wouldn’t really get much out of playing as me. “Press A to struggle!” “Press B to make a biting remark!” “Press C to miss Sonic!” Sounds pretty entertaining, right?
Green Hills Zone (1/31)
You can put all the S’s you want in the name, you’re not fooling me! This is Green Hill Zone! This is home!
I do not need to tell you about my feelings about this setting given that this is literally the third time we’ve been here lmao. But like. Damn. Why did Sonic’s path to save me have to take him through home? That’s just mean. I can’t imagine what that must have felt like for him. I have to imagine he saw my shadow everywhere. I know it probably wasn’t the developers’ intention, but having this near the midpoint in the game feels like it gives him the extra little oomph he needs to get through the rest of the chase. “Hold on, little buddy...”
So, I gotta say, when I figured out how to get the Emerald on this one, I actually yelled, “Oh! That is cool!” out loud. Because it is! Basically, you have to hit one particular springboard by running off a ledge, and it will take you to a second set of springboards which will take you to the ledge the Emerald is on. But like. Understand this. You have to hit it in this specific way that took me a few tries to even think of trying. And I don’t know. I just find that kind of thing super rewarding.
The boss is a metal pig. It’s the best boss of the game so far. We’re in a weird place.
It was good to be home briefly, but we’re about to leave the home cooking behind and journey into Robotnik’s domain. Hurry, Sonic! I’ll do my best to hold out until you save me!
Gimmick Mountain Zone (1/31)
OKAY BUT AT THE END OF ACT 1 YOU’RE IN A MINE CART AND IF YOU TIME YOUR JUMP RIGHT YOU JUMP INTO ANOTHER MINE CART? I AM PROBABLY OVERREACTING BUT THAT FELT SO COOL TO ME IDK.
Uh yeah this is a Robotnik base type place, so. I have the feelings about that that I have. I don’t want to be back anyplace like this anytime soon. So, yeah.
In the context of this game... Sonic has fought his way all the way into Robotnik’s territory. He’s so close, he knows if he can just get a little further, I’ll be safe. If you want to see what a hedgehog on a mission looks like, here you go.
The boss for this one is actually pretty cool, I guess, as far as these bosses go? It’s a pig-boar, I guess? And it charges at you a bunch. You have to do a Sonic Spin to meet its charge to daze it, and then jump or Sonic Spin to damage it. I don’t recommend the Sonic Spin for the second attack, though, because you don’t bounce off of it the second time and you’ll often end up taking damage. Which is death in a boss fight in this game since there are no rings.
Hurry, Sonic! You’ve almost got me!
Scrambled Egg Zone (1/31)
The aesthetics of this one kind of rule. It’s the deeper part of Robotnik’s mountain base. I really like the color palette here, lots of blue rocks. Most of the Zone is figuring out how to get through a maze of transport tubes with the occasional moving platform to complicate things. And it’s all leading to a confrontation with Silver Sonic, the series’ first metallic doppelganger adversary for Sonic.
These sorts of bosses always used to be my favorite kind because like, Sonic is cool! So obviously an evil version of Sonic is objectively the coolest enemy for him, right? But now I’m just struck by how... wrong and uncomfortable they all feel. And they represent one of my greatest fears, what could happen to my hedgehog if he ever loses. So it’s a good thing he never loses.
You don’t collect the Chaos Emerald by finding it somewhere in the level this time. Silver Sonic has it, and you get it after you beat him. Assuming you collected the other five. Also, apparently the story of the game is that Robotnik forced me to write a letter to Sonic telling him that Robotnik is demanding a ransom of the six Chaos Emeralds in exchange for my release. So with the sixth and final Emerald collected, it’s on to the Crystal Egg, where I’m being held prisoner.
It’s easy to imagine how fatigued Sonic is at this point. He was already probably near his limit by the time he got to Silver Sonic. And the difficulty presented by that adversary isn’t just a physical one, but also a profound psychological one.
He’s tired. And I badly want him to be able to rest, but I also know he can’t. Not when his goal is so close he can almost feel it.
You’re almost there, Sonic! Just a little further! You’ve got this! You’ve got me!
Crystal Egg Zone
(CW: Uhhh yeah. I do some emotional extrapolation from what almost happens at the end here, and... it’s rough, and deals with loss.)
This is pretty unique for a final level! As its name suggests, everything is brightly colored and largely transparent. A lot different than the soulless metal we’re used to seeing at this stage of a Sonic game. But also, this is where I’m being held prisoner. So let’s not lose sight of how genuinely dangerous this place is.
The zone itself is extremely straightforward and honestly pretty easy. It’s... eerie, almost. And like... that kind of fit the vicarious emotional state I was inhabiting here. It’s easy to imagine an exhausted Sonic running through this relatively obstacle-less zone with his attention darting around, looking for threats, suspicious of how easy this final stretch is.
And then you get to the final boss. You finally get to fight Robotnik himself instead of some robot based on an animal. Again, the bosses in this game are really weird. But it also kind of works with the story I’ve been reading into the game
The final boss fight takes place in some sort of lightning chamber. (... it’s... not difficult to imagine that Robotnik may have used this to torment me while he was holding me prisoner. Fuck.) Even for someone as fast as Sonic the attacks are basically impossible to avoid if you’re inside the chamber, but luckily there’s a way. There’s a transport tube surrounding the chamber, because of course there is. Freaking Robotnik overengineers everything. It’s so satisfying when that’s his downfall.
It’s not a difficult fight once you figure out how it works, unless you accidentally fall out of the tubes. It’s hard to imagine Sonic would, though. So it’s kind of funny. Robotnik’s plan worked. He threw down a gauntlet that was designed to wear my hedgehog down. He baited it with me, the bait he knew Sonic couldn’t resist. It all worked. My hedgehog is exhausted by the time he finally faces Robotnik... and in the end, the weak link that makes Robotnik’s plan fail is... Robotnik himself.
Pathetic.
Once you’ve beaten the boss, Robotnik flees like the coward he is, and you try to chase him down but don’t quite catch him before he gets on a teleporter, laughing maniacally like he always does.
What you see on the screen is Sonic curling into a ball like when you press the down button on the controller. 8-bit systems don’t have a lot of ways to show emotion. Let’s expand on that a little.
He slams his fist against the teleporter with frustration. No! He did it, he fucking did it! He bashed every Badnik that asshole threw at him! He went through every obstacle that was put in front of him! He was singleminded. He didn’t stop once. He did everything he could possibly do, and it wasn’t enough???
“Tails...”
The last time he saw me, I was being carried away by the Egg-O-Matic’s metal claws helplessly crying his name. The last time he heard from me, it was a letter Robotnik forced me to write.
No. No. This wasn’t over. The exhausted hedgehog dragged himself to his feet. His eyes fixed on the teleporter. He didn’t know where it would take him, likely as not it would take him to a trap he was too exhausted to deal with, but he had to... he had to...
The teleporter lit up before he could take a step towards it. Fuck. He bent his knees slightly and put his hands in a defensive posture, getting ready to jump or spin or run or--
When the light dissolved, it wasn’t some new adversary or weapon that greeted him. It was me.
(I don’t know how. The game doesn’t make it clear. I’m gonna headcanon that I managed to escape while Robotnik was having his final fight with Sonic, and Robotnik got to see me dissolving into the teleporter while yelling, “YOU LOSE, ASSHOLE!” right after he finished teleporting himself.)
I hadn’t expected him to be the first thing I saw. We both froze in place for a few seconds that felt like an eternity, our eyes meeting. And then we launched ourselves at each other at the same time and hugged each other fiercely.
“Sonic!” I cried out, tears of relief streaming down my face.
“Tails!” he cried at the same time, holding me so tightly.
It took a while before I could think of anything other than holding him tightly and never letting go. But when I could, I tried to pull away from the embrace, only to find his grip too tight.
“No.” he told me firmly.
“Sonic, we have to get out of here!” I urged him. “Robotnik--”
“... right,” Sonic sighed. “Base is gonna self destruct?”
I nodded into the hug, and he finally let me go. But he looked at me with determination. “I am never letting you out of my sight again, little buddy.”
And he never did.
Ending (1/31)
THIS ENDING IS SO GAY YOU GUYS. Like, I’m sorry, I know I’m predisposed. But after Sonic rescues me, we run together while the credits roll. And the sky cycles through several phases of the day ranging from what I assume is morning to what is definitely night. And while you might question the logic of us running together for an entire day after I’ve been held captive and Sonic has run and fought himself to exhaustion... I totally get it. Relief and catharsis are a hell of a drug. And a victory lap is understandable enough, but a victory lap after a reunion like this is probably a more powerful force than either of us can resist.
Anyway, after the credits, we stop and look up at the stars together (I'm gonna add "holding hands" but it's plenty gay even without that addition) and see a constellation that the game, in an act of supreme subtlety, superimposes a picture of us together over. Y'know. Like it's... written in the stars, or something. Tiny bit romantic.
THIS IS SO GAY!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!! (And I love him so much 💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡)
Oh right I still have to rank stuff.
Couples Depicted in This Game
1. Sonic/Tails (S-Tier)
Zones
1. Green Hills Zone (B-Tier)
2. Under Ground Zone (B-Tier)
3. Scrambled Egg Zone (B-Tier)
4. Crystal Egg Zone (B-Tier)
5. Gimmick Mountain Zone (B-Tier)
6. Aqua Lake Zone (C-Tier)
7. Sky High Zone (C-Tier)
Bosses
1. Silver Sonic (A-Tier)
2. Crystal Egg Zone (B-Tier)
3. Mecha Pig (C-Tier)
4. Pig-Boar Mecha (C-Tier)
5. Antlion Mecha (C-Tier)
6. Mecha Sea Lion (C-Tier)
7. Goose Mecha (C-Tier)
Soundtrack
1. Scrambled Egg Zone (A-Tier)
2. Green Hills Zone (B-Tier)
3. Under Ground Zone (B-Tier)
4. Boss, Game Gear (B-Tier)
5. Gimmick Mountain Zone (C-Tier)
6. Boss, Master System (C-Tier)
7. Crystal Egg Zone (C-Tier)
8. Good Ending (C-Tier)
9. Bad Ending (C-Tier)
9. Sky High Zone (C-Tier)
10. Aqua Lake Zone (C-Tier)
So, yeah! Here’s where stuff gets real for me! And what a way to start? I gotta tell you, playing a game where the hedgehog I love is desperately trying to save me from his point of view is certainly an interesting emotional experience? Like, you’d think it would be a little empowering, but my feelings so far have largely been “oh, honey :c” so uh, yeah. There’s that.
I’ve belligerently insisted that the 16-bit version of this is the greatest love story ever told, and I’m 100% right about that fight me, but I’m going to be pretty interested in how the 8-bit version plays into that! Like, fighting just as fiercely to rescue me as he does to save literally the entire world isn’t not romantic? Actually, yeah, I think I kinda solved this one by thinking out loud. This is the equally romantic prelude to the 16-bit version’s Greatest Love Story Ever Told.
Now that that’s taken care of, I also wanna say oh my gosh this is more like it! So, I definitely did play through this back when I was playing through all the 8-bit and GameBoy Advance games. I think I’m remembering that I hadn’t played the 8-bit version of Sonic 1 since there were only three new zones and I hadn’t heard good things about it, but yeah.
My memories of the 8-bit version of Sonic 2 weren’t super clear since I had only played it the one time (other than of course occasionally playing the Game Gear version whenever I was hanging out with a friend who had a Game Gear). So after my experiences with 8-bit Sonic 1 I was worried that the 8-bit games were just gonna inspire all kinds of whining from me, but thank goodness, they clearly made major strides by the time they made Sonic 2. It’s a lot more polished, and plays a lot more like a Sonic game should. There’s still no spindash, which is fine, but this is way more like playing the Genesis version of Sonic 1 than it is like playing the Master System version of Sonic 1, if that makes any sense.
So, yeah! Here we go with this one. Oh, one more thing. Sonic! Help!
Underground Zone (1/30)
This is the first time (and one of the only times) a 2D Sonic game doesn’t start with a green level! So that’s interesting! And this is a pretty great first level! Like, it’s not super challenging or anything but it’s a good introduction. The only truly challenging part is making the jump off the mine cart in Act 2 to stay on the higher path so you can get the Chaos Emerald. I’m sure people who have played this way more than me have no issue with that, but that was the one part so far where I used a save state at the beginning of the act.
It looks like we’ve got ringless boss zones again, which is fine when the boss is actually fair! It makes sense to add a little pressure to those, as long as the bosses themselves aren’t overly punishing like they are in 8-bit Sonic 1. So yeah, in this one Robotnik saves you from falling into a pit of lava for some reason, and drops you on a slope with some giant claws at the bottom of it. He then lobs bombs at you which you just have to avoid until they hit the claws 6 times, and then he tries to ram you with the Egg-O-Matic and you get out of the way so he rams the claws instead. Pretty straightforward first boss!
But yeah, this whole thing was just a huge breath of fresh air after 8-bit Sonic 1! Can’t wait to see if things stay on that track! Get it, track? Because of all the mine carts in this level?
Sky High Zone (1/31)
This is where the hang-gliders from the cover come into play. And they are frustrating as heck. But shrug. Feels like something I would enjoy if I were actually there.
Hey, speaking of cover art (sort of), at first I was loving the cute art of me and Sonic on each level’s title screen, but then something kinda hit me. It shows us together in these zones, something that’s not happening obviously since the whole point of the game is kinda that I got kidnapped and Sonic is trying to rescue me.
The non-diegetic reason for this is obviously just “hey, you’re also on the cover, they want to show off the new character.” But if you needed something that makes story sense... yeah. That’s Sonic imagining me being with him because he misses me. So. Pardon me while I just pick up the pieces of my broken heart over here.
This zone is fine, I guess? Like, I feel inclined to moan and whine about the hang-gliders, but I also fully acknowledge that could be a me problem. And running around on clouds (and bouncing on some of them!!) in Act 2 was pretty dang cool, though it’s a bit frustrating that the ones you can walk on and the ones you can’t walk on look virtually identical? You find the Chaos Emerald by bouncing up some of those clouds towards the end of the level, so it’s cool that it’s kinda worked into the level’s overall gimmick!
The boss is... uh... interesting? First you fight some tiny bird robots, then have to blow up their eggs (???) before they hatch more that you have to deal with. Then you fight a big bird robot? Like, it’s fine, I guess? But it kinda seems like this game is just totally eschewing the Egg-O-Matic bosses, which I have mixed (and mostly bad) feelings about.
Anyway, this level was a bit frustrating for me, but I like the concept and the aesthetic, so it has that going for it.
Aqua Lake Zone (1/31)
I don’t even have to say it, do I?
Too bad. I’m gonna anyway. I DO NOT LIKE MY HEDGEHOG BEING UNDERWATER!
Act 1 is straightforward, with a mix of above water and underwater areas, but you can actually skip most of the underwater parts by skipping over the water with Sonic spins! Which, frankly, rules! Act 2 is an underwater labyrinth, which, nooooooooooooo. You find the Emerald in one of those maze thingies where you get zoomed around. Act 2 also has a ridiculously difficult bit where you have to ride up in a bubble avoiding badniks and shooting spears, and it’s just... ugh. Not a fan.
The boss is... yeah. I guess they’re all just gonna be Like That, huh? This one is a sea lion. No, it doesn’t corner you and demand a civil debate. It just inflates some ball-shaped bombs that you can hit before he launches them to do damage to him. Rather obliging of him, really.
Can’t say this zone (or the other zones so far) gave me any particular kinfeels. Most of the feelings I’m getting from this game so far are just... how weird (in a kind of good way I think?) it is to be playing as my hedgehog coming to rescue me. I mean, I guess you wouldn’t really get much out of playing as me. “Press A to struggle!” “Press B to make a biting remark!” “Press C to miss Sonic!” Sounds pretty entertaining, right?
Green Hills Zone (1/31)
You can put all the S’s you want in the name, you’re not fooling me! This is Green Hill Zone! This is home!
I do not need to tell you about my feelings about this setting given that this is literally the third time we’ve been here lmao. But like. Damn. Why did Sonic’s path to save me have to take him through home? That’s just mean. I can’t imagine what that must have felt like for him. I have to imagine he saw my shadow everywhere. I know it probably wasn’t the developers’ intention, but having this near the midpoint in the game feels like it gives him the extra little oomph he needs to get through the rest of the chase. “Hold on, little buddy...”
So, I gotta say, when I figured out how to get the Emerald on this one, I actually yelled, “Oh! That is cool!” out loud. Because it is! Basically, you have to hit one particular springboard by running off a ledge, and it will take you to a second set of springboards which will take you to the ledge the Emerald is on. But like. Understand this. You have to hit it in this specific way that took me a few tries to even think of trying. And I don’t know. I just find that kind of thing super rewarding.
The boss is a metal pig. It’s the best boss of the game so far. We’re in a weird place.
It was good to be home briefly, but we’re about to leave the home cooking behind and journey into Robotnik’s domain. Hurry, Sonic! I’ll do my best to hold out until you save me!
Gimmick Mountain Zone (1/31)
OKAY BUT AT THE END OF ACT 1 YOU’RE IN A MINE CART AND IF YOU TIME YOUR JUMP RIGHT YOU JUMP INTO ANOTHER MINE CART? I AM PROBABLY OVERREACTING BUT THAT FELT SO COOL TO ME IDK.
Uh yeah this is a Robotnik base type place, so. I have the feelings about that that I have. I don’t want to be back anyplace like this anytime soon. So, yeah.
In the context of this game... Sonic has fought his way all the way into Robotnik’s territory. He’s so close, he knows if he can just get a little further, I’ll be safe. If you want to see what a hedgehog on a mission looks like, here you go.
The boss for this one is actually pretty cool, I guess, as far as these bosses go? It’s a pig-boar, I guess? And it charges at you a bunch. You have to do a Sonic Spin to meet its charge to daze it, and then jump or Sonic Spin to damage it. I don’t recommend the Sonic Spin for the second attack, though, because you don’t bounce off of it the second time and you’ll often end up taking damage. Which is death in a boss fight in this game since there are no rings.
Hurry, Sonic! You’ve almost got me!
Scrambled Egg Zone (1/31)
The aesthetics of this one kind of rule. It’s the deeper part of Robotnik’s mountain base. I really like the color palette here, lots of blue rocks. Most of the Zone is figuring out how to get through a maze of transport tubes with the occasional moving platform to complicate things. And it’s all leading to a confrontation with Silver Sonic, the series’ first metallic doppelganger adversary for Sonic.
These sorts of bosses always used to be my favorite kind because like, Sonic is cool! So obviously an evil version of Sonic is objectively the coolest enemy for him, right? But now I’m just struck by how... wrong and uncomfortable they all feel. And they represent one of my greatest fears, what could happen to my hedgehog if he ever loses. So it’s a good thing he never loses.
You don’t collect the Chaos Emerald by finding it somewhere in the level this time. Silver Sonic has it, and you get it after you beat him. Assuming you collected the other five. Also, apparently the story of the game is that Robotnik forced me to write a letter to Sonic telling him that Robotnik is demanding a ransom of the six Chaos Emeralds in exchange for my release. So with the sixth and final Emerald collected, it’s on to the Crystal Egg, where I’m being held prisoner.
It’s easy to imagine how fatigued Sonic is at this point. He was already probably near his limit by the time he got to Silver Sonic. And the difficulty presented by that adversary isn’t just a physical one, but also a profound psychological one.
He’s tired. And I badly want him to be able to rest, but I also know he can’t. Not when his goal is so close he can almost feel it.
You’re almost there, Sonic! Just a little further! You’ve got this! You’ve got me!
Crystal Egg Zone
(CW: Uhhh yeah. I do some emotional extrapolation from what almost happens at the end here, and... it’s rough, and deals with loss.)
This is pretty unique for a final level! As its name suggests, everything is brightly colored and largely transparent. A lot different than the soulless metal we’re used to seeing at this stage of a Sonic game. But also, this is where I’m being held prisoner. So let’s not lose sight of how genuinely dangerous this place is.
The zone itself is extremely straightforward and honestly pretty easy. It’s... eerie, almost. And like... that kind of fit the vicarious emotional state I was inhabiting here. It’s easy to imagine an exhausted Sonic running through this relatively obstacle-less zone with his attention darting around, looking for threats, suspicious of how easy this final stretch is.
And then you get to the final boss. You finally get to fight Robotnik himself instead of some robot based on an animal. Again, the bosses in this game are really weird. But it also kind of works with the story I’ve been reading into the game
The final boss fight takes place in some sort of lightning chamber. (... it’s... not difficult to imagine that Robotnik may have used this to torment me while he was holding me prisoner. Fuck.) Even for someone as fast as Sonic the attacks are basically impossible to avoid if you’re inside the chamber, but luckily there’s a way. There’s a transport tube surrounding the chamber, because of course there is. Freaking Robotnik overengineers everything. It’s so satisfying when that’s his downfall.
It’s not a difficult fight once you figure out how it works, unless you accidentally fall out of the tubes. It’s hard to imagine Sonic would, though. So it’s kind of funny. Robotnik’s plan worked. He threw down a gauntlet that was designed to wear my hedgehog down. He baited it with me, the bait he knew Sonic couldn’t resist. It all worked. My hedgehog is exhausted by the time he finally faces Robotnik... and in the end, the weak link that makes Robotnik’s plan fail is... Robotnik himself.
Pathetic.
Once you’ve beaten the boss, Robotnik flees like the coward he is, and you try to chase him down but don’t quite catch him before he gets on a teleporter, laughing maniacally like he always does.
What you see on the screen is Sonic curling into a ball like when you press the down button on the controller. 8-bit systems don’t have a lot of ways to show emotion. Let’s expand on that a little.
He slams his fist against the teleporter with frustration. No! He did it, he fucking did it! He bashed every Badnik that asshole threw at him! He went through every obstacle that was put in front of him! He was singleminded. He didn’t stop once. He did everything he could possibly do, and it wasn’t enough???
“Tails...”
The last time he saw me, I was being carried away by the Egg-O-Matic’s metal claws helplessly crying his name. The last time he heard from me, it was a letter Robotnik forced me to write.
No. No. This wasn’t over. The exhausted hedgehog dragged himself to his feet. His eyes fixed on the teleporter. He didn’t know where it would take him, likely as not it would take him to a trap he was too exhausted to deal with, but he had to... he had to...
The teleporter lit up before he could take a step towards it. Fuck. He bent his knees slightly and put his hands in a defensive posture, getting ready to jump or spin or run or--
When the light dissolved, it wasn’t some new adversary or weapon that greeted him. It was me.
(I don’t know how. The game doesn’t make it clear. I’m gonna headcanon that I managed to escape while Robotnik was having his final fight with Sonic, and Robotnik got to see me dissolving into the teleporter while yelling, “YOU LOSE, ASSHOLE!” right after he finished teleporting himself.)
I hadn’t expected him to be the first thing I saw. We both froze in place for a few seconds that felt like an eternity, our eyes meeting. And then we launched ourselves at each other at the same time and hugged each other fiercely.
“Sonic!” I cried out, tears of relief streaming down my face.
“Tails!” he cried at the same time, holding me so tightly.
It took a while before I could think of anything other than holding him tightly and never letting go. But when I could, I tried to pull away from the embrace, only to find his grip too tight.
“No.” he told me firmly.
“Sonic, we have to get out of here!” I urged him. “Robotnik--”
“... right,” Sonic sighed. “Base is gonna self destruct?”
I nodded into the hug, and he finally let me go. But he looked at me with determination. “I am never letting you out of my sight again, little buddy.”
And he never did.
Ending (1/31)
THIS ENDING IS SO GAY YOU GUYS. Like, I’m sorry, I know I’m predisposed. But after Sonic rescues me, we run together while the credits roll. And the sky cycles through several phases of the day ranging from what I assume is morning to what is definitely night. And while you might question the logic of us running together for an entire day after I’ve been held captive and Sonic has run and fought himself to exhaustion... I totally get it. Relief and catharsis are a hell of a drug. And a victory lap is understandable enough, but a victory lap after a reunion like this is probably a more powerful force than either of us can resist.
Anyway, after the credits, we stop and look up at the stars together (I'm gonna add "holding hands" but it's plenty gay even without that addition) and see a constellation that the game, in an act of supreme subtlety, superimposes a picture of us together over. Y'know. Like it's... written in the stars, or something. Tiny bit romantic.
THIS IS SO GAY!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!! (And I love him so much 💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡)
Oh right I still have to rank stuff.
Couples Depicted in This Game
1. Sonic/Tails (S-Tier)
Zones
1. Green Hills Zone (B-Tier)
2. Under Ground Zone (B-Tier)
3. Scrambled Egg Zone (B-Tier)
4. Crystal Egg Zone (B-Tier)
5. Gimmick Mountain Zone (B-Tier)
6. Aqua Lake Zone (C-Tier)
7. Sky High Zone (C-Tier)
Bosses
1. Silver Sonic (A-Tier)
2. Crystal Egg Zone (B-Tier)
3. Mecha Pig (C-Tier)
4. Pig-Boar Mecha (C-Tier)
5. Antlion Mecha (C-Tier)
6. Mecha Sea Lion (C-Tier)
7. Goose Mecha (C-Tier)
Soundtrack
1. Scrambled Egg Zone (A-Tier)
2. Green Hills Zone (B-Tier)
3. Under Ground Zone (B-Tier)
4. Boss, Game Gear (B-Tier)
5. Gimmick Mountain Zone (C-Tier)
6. Boss, Master System (C-Tier)
7. Crystal Egg Zone (C-Tier)
8. Good Ending (C-Tier)
9. Bad Ending (C-Tier)
9. Sky High Zone (C-Tier)
10. Aqua Lake Zone (C-Tier)