I gotta hand it to ‘em. Our folks over at Intelligent Systems managed to completely ignore the criticisms of the previous Paper Mario game. If I had to pick SOMETHING this game has going for it, it would be its gorgeous visuals. Some people don’t like the series leaning so much into the paper aesthetic, but I think it’s the best way they could’ve taken advantage of the HD visuals. As for everything else, however...
The gameplay has not improved in any meaningful way since the 3DS entry, we’ve just replaced stickers with cards. Sure, you get very slow paint upgrades, which at the start of the game feels nice, but the more you keep playing they become less and less significant. As you advance further into the game, because you’re not getting stronger or learning new abilities, the only way the difficulty scales is by increasing the number of hits needed to defeat enemies or how many of them you battle at once. As a result, battles take longer and you use up more cards. This means battles, for the second game in a row, have become pointless. Don’t worry, though, the game will throw enemies in your face so you can’t avoid fighting altogether.
The most infuriating part of this game, however, is the “story”. Absolutely magnificent how IntSys is resolved to putting the bare minimum effort into the plot of these modern Paper Mario’s. Once again, pretty much every NPC is a Toad. The fact that the game still tries to act like these nondescript Toads are distinct characters is laughable. A wise professor of archaeology? A green Toad. Miners at a dig site? Monty Moles, right? Nope, Toads. Not even with hard hats or pickaxes, just normal Toads. A grumpy, disillusioned train mechanic? A green Toad, but he's got a frown. A legendary pirate captain, trapped in an alternate dimension? A yellow Toad, but with a Pirate hat. Remember when Bob-ombs were pirates? Nah, all the pirates are just Toads. No Boos haunting the mansion, no Piantas on the beach, the mailman isn’t a Paratroopa, the inhabitants of Prism Island aren’t even their own new race. They’re all. Just. Toads. If the game is feeling daring, the Toad might get a hat. How exciting. Hell, you arrive at Port Prisma with Peach and her retainer, who is just a regular Toad. They couldn’t even be bothered to use Toadsworth. Whose only role is to accompany Peach at the start of these adventures before she’s kidnapped. I can go on and on about this, but it’s because it’s a real sore spot for me regarding these games. It honestly feels like an insult to the player. Nintendo acts as if, after the 2000’s, kids became too stupid to enjoy a Mario game if every character besides Mario isn’t a Toad and the main villain isn’t Bowser. There’s no good reason a series like Paper Mario, which has such a rich history of colorful and unique character designs to pull from, feels so creatively bankrupt.
The game may look pretty, but even the levels aren’t all that interesting to explore. I really felt like this game dragged on for way too long. Not helped by the fact that, just like Sticker Star, you need special Things in order to progress. My god, there’s so much needless backtracking.
Contrary to what people say, no amount of “omg we’re so quirky and self-aware pls laugh” writing makes up for the hollow battle system and non-existent story. Don’t waste your time.
The gameplay has not improved in any meaningful way since the 3DS entry, we’ve just replaced stickers with cards. Sure, you get very slow paint upgrades, which at the start of the game feels nice, but the more you keep playing they become less and less significant. As you advance further into the game, because you’re not getting stronger or learning new abilities, the only way the difficulty scales is by increasing the number of hits needed to defeat enemies or how many of them you battle at once. As a result, battles take longer and you use up more cards. This means battles, for the second game in a row, have become pointless. Don’t worry, though, the game will throw enemies in your face so you can’t avoid fighting altogether.
The most infuriating part of this game, however, is the “story”. Absolutely magnificent how IntSys is resolved to putting the bare minimum effort into the plot of these modern Paper Mario’s. Once again, pretty much every NPC is a Toad. The fact that the game still tries to act like these nondescript Toads are distinct characters is laughable. A wise professor of archaeology? A green Toad. Miners at a dig site? Monty Moles, right? Nope, Toads. Not even with hard hats or pickaxes, just normal Toads. A grumpy, disillusioned train mechanic? A green Toad, but he's got a frown. A legendary pirate captain, trapped in an alternate dimension? A yellow Toad, but with a Pirate hat. Remember when Bob-ombs were pirates? Nah, all the pirates are just Toads. No Boos haunting the mansion, no Piantas on the beach, the mailman isn’t a Paratroopa, the inhabitants of Prism Island aren’t even their own new race. They’re all. Just. Toads. If the game is feeling daring, the Toad might get a hat. How exciting. Hell, you arrive at Port Prisma with Peach and her retainer, who is just a regular Toad. They couldn’t even be bothered to use Toadsworth. Whose only role is to accompany Peach at the start of these adventures before she’s kidnapped. I can go on and on about this, but it’s because it’s a real sore spot for me regarding these games. It honestly feels like an insult to the player. Nintendo acts as if, after the 2000’s, kids became too stupid to enjoy a Mario game if every character besides Mario isn’t a Toad and the main villain isn’t Bowser. There’s no good reason a series like Paper Mario, which has such a rich history of colorful and unique character designs to pull from, feels so creatively bankrupt.
The game may look pretty, but even the levels aren’t all that interesting to explore. I really felt like this game dragged on for way too long. Not helped by the fact that, just like Sticker Star, you need special Things in order to progress. My god, there’s so much needless backtracking.
Contrary to what people say, no amount of “omg we’re so quirky and self-aware pls laugh” writing makes up for the hollow battle system and non-existent story. Don’t waste your time.