Monster Monpiece is a card battle game released for the PlayStation Vita in January 2013. The game somehow finds its way onto a few “best of” or “hidden gem” lists of titles available on or exclusive to the Vita. After playing the game for several hours and making my way at least half-way through the story, however, I wouldn’t consider it one of the best games on the Vita, a hidden gem on the console, or much of a game at all. If anything Monster Monpiece is a game developer's sad attempt at creating a card battler for horny anime-loving teenagers.
In short, Monster Monpiece is a card battler where players collect virtual cards displaying scantily clad monster girls and use those cards to conduct turn-based battles on a 7x3 grid. During a battle, the player and their opponent take turns dragging and dropping one of their monster girls onto the grid to activate them. Once placed, the monster girl will occupy that spot on the battlefield and move one space forward each subsequent turn. The main goal of the battle is to reach the other end of the opponents grid and deal damage to their Headquarters. Once the health points of a player’s Headquarters reaches zero, that player loses. There are of course an assortment of monster girls to choose from with their own special abilities and attributes, but for the portions of the game I experienced, this was hardly relevant. You can mostly just pick whichever monster girl is strongest or looks the best and slap them into your 30 card deck.
During my playthrough I was under the impression that opening card packs that could be purchased at the in-game shop would eventually unlock more powerful cards. This, however, is only partially accurate. While you do find some powerful cards in the 3-card booster packs and others scattered throughout the game world, the best way to increase the power of your deck is through the abhorrent “extreme rub” system. If you are unaware, the way in which the cards you acquire in Monster Monpiece are upgraded into stronger versions is through a minigame called "First Crush ❤ Rub" mode. During this minigame, the player must poke, rub, pinch, and touch the Vita’s touch screen and rear touch pad to arouse the monster girl and unleash her “true power,” which just means she takes off more and more clothing the stronger she becomes. If this sounds bad written out, just imagine how awkward it is to actually play. When I was finished with my first (and story mandated) "First Crush ❤ Rub" experience, I realized that maybe the Vita’s dual touchscreen and touchpad was a bad idea. Not only do you risk damaging your Vita’s screen by doing all of these actions at an ungodly speed, but you also look like a complete idiot frantically rubbing your game console in hopes to see an anime girl in her underwear. It’s ridiculous.
As for the story, it's bare bones at best and really serves as nothing more than a means to end. It has no depth, no complexity, and certainly no character arcs to speak of. I'm not sure what I expected from a game of this caliber, but it certainly falls flat.
Overall there is honestly some depth and complexity to the card battling mechanics present in Monster Monpiece, this interesting concept and gameplay, however, is lost on a game that caters to degenerates and wastes your time with the “extreme rub” system. I can’t recommend that anyone even give this game a shot as it’s simply not worth it unless you have no idea how to Google “hot anime girl” and just really need to see monster girls lose their clothes as you rub your Vita’s touch screen over and over and over.
In short, Monster Monpiece is a card battler where players collect virtual cards displaying scantily clad monster girls and use those cards to conduct turn-based battles on a 7x3 grid. During a battle, the player and their opponent take turns dragging and dropping one of their monster girls onto the grid to activate them. Once placed, the monster girl will occupy that spot on the battlefield and move one space forward each subsequent turn. The main goal of the battle is to reach the other end of the opponents grid and deal damage to their Headquarters. Once the health points of a player’s Headquarters reaches zero, that player loses. There are of course an assortment of monster girls to choose from with their own special abilities and attributes, but for the portions of the game I experienced, this was hardly relevant. You can mostly just pick whichever monster girl is strongest or looks the best and slap them into your 30 card deck.
During my playthrough I was under the impression that opening card packs that could be purchased at the in-game shop would eventually unlock more powerful cards. This, however, is only partially accurate. While you do find some powerful cards in the 3-card booster packs and others scattered throughout the game world, the best way to increase the power of your deck is through the abhorrent “extreme rub” system. If you are unaware, the way in which the cards you acquire in Monster Monpiece are upgraded into stronger versions is through a minigame called "First Crush ❤ Rub" mode. During this minigame, the player must poke, rub, pinch, and touch the Vita’s touch screen and rear touch pad to arouse the monster girl and unleash her “true power,” which just means she takes off more and more clothing the stronger she becomes. If this sounds bad written out, just imagine how awkward it is to actually play. When I was finished with my first (and story mandated) "First Crush ❤ Rub" experience, I realized that maybe the Vita’s dual touchscreen and touchpad was a bad idea. Not only do you risk damaging your Vita’s screen by doing all of these actions at an ungodly speed, but you also look like a complete idiot frantically rubbing your game console in hopes to see an anime girl in her underwear. It’s ridiculous.
As for the story, it's bare bones at best and really serves as nothing more than a means to end. It has no depth, no complexity, and certainly no character arcs to speak of. I'm not sure what I expected from a game of this caliber, but it certainly falls flat.
Overall there is honestly some depth and complexity to the card battling mechanics present in Monster Monpiece, this interesting concept and gameplay, however, is lost on a game that caters to degenerates and wastes your time with the “extreme rub” system. I can’t recommend that anyone even give this game a shot as it’s simply not worth it unless you have no idea how to Google “hot anime girl” and just really need to see monster girls lose their clothes as you rub your Vita’s touch screen over and over and over.