childhood is saying that Mario Bros. sucks, adulthood is realizing Mario Bros. is actually great and we mostly hate it because of the inferior NES version being shoved down our throats
huge shoutouts to the Lonely Goomba for being a big contribution into me trying out the Arcade version. as well as introducing me to the existence of the Classic Series NES port of this game, go check out his video on Mario Bros. when you're done reading this review. besides that, I had originally planned to go through almost every 2D Mario in order in preparation for Wonder, starting with this game, however I backed out of it since I didn't want to risk going through Mario Burnout, but hey at least I got to try this one out.
it's a shame this is considered a black sheep of Mario since a lot of staples originated here like the coins, the pipes, the POW Block, Luigi, New York, how can you imagine Mario without those? the goal here is instead of jumping on enemies like in later games, you instead have to jump under the platform they're on and kick them into the water while they're stunned. they ease you pretty easy at first by having only Shellcreepers to deal with, but as the levels, or Phases as the game calls it goes on, they'll start adding Sidesteppers that take two hits to stun, the first making them faster, then they give you the Fighter Flies that start off real slow and can only be hit when they land on the ground, then they give out the Slipice (known as Freezie in later games) that can freeze the middle and bottom platforms if they stand on the middle of it, then they add Icicles which slowly form at the bottom of the top platforms and can defeat you if you either touch them or have them land on you, and during all that there's red and green fireballs that begin to show up more often the further you get, the red ones slowly moving diagonally through the whole area while the greens quickly zip through one of the three floors. you're probably thinking that's way too chaotic, and it is, and that's what makes it fun (and frustrating). don't worry, there's bonus games at Phase 4, 9, and every seventh one after to help you earn bonus points for lives, as well as helping to calm your nerves, but not for long. the goal there is to collect all the Coins before time runs out, and you're given 20 seconds to collect them all, enough time to easily do so once you're used to the controls, but then in the next one, all the floor is slippery and you're given 15 seconds from now on, then after that, the slippery floor turns invisible after a few seconds then it's not relaxing at all, welcome to Mario Bros. Arcade.
throughout my five or so hours put into this version, I developed some tips to make things easier such as standing on top of the POW Block during Phases that start with Sidesteppers to try and stun them when they're on the middle platform, staying on the top sometimes to not only lure the green fireballs there and safety drop down but also to make Slipices and Icicles easier to deal with, as well as stalling the first three Phases out to try and get early bonus points by defeating the red fireballs as well as chaining up Shellcreepers, ensuring I get an extra life during the third Phase. despite all my efforts, at my best I could only make my way to Phase 20 with a High Score of 166350, before I reluctantly conceded defeat and almost considered dropping the rating to 6/10. there are 23 Phases in the game before it starts looping and not being able to complete that 23rd Phase will keep me up for the rest of the life, but I was able to complete a few Phases with the Icicles so I'll happily count that as my completion for the game.
now if you want to try and have as much fun as I did, get the Arcade version. there's an Arcade Archives version of this on the Switch and it doesn't cost that much money. don't play the NES version, though considering how many times Nintendo have released that version you've probably already have, so stop playing the NES version. the sprites don't look as good, the Icicles are missing, and the difficulty has been turned down so much to the point that the game becomes boring. "But Mario's outfit in that version matches how he's normally dressed!!!" don't go using that excuse on me this was a point of history when Mario used to wear a blue cap things were different back then
this is Mario Bros. at its purest form, however if you're somehow still getting filtered despite my words of encouragement, there's an exclusive European version of the NES port that not only fixes all the sprites and bumps up the difficulty to be closer to the Arcade version, but it also adds free air movement so you're not committed to the jump, potentially reducing some stupid deaths. of course there's also the GBA remake in all the Mario Advance and Superstar Saga carts that can be considered a much better game, but I'm here to sell you on the Arcade version so at least give this one a shot first and see how far you can get.
I think I like this more than Super Mario Bros., no you are not changing my mind
huge shoutouts to the Lonely Goomba for being a big contribution into me trying out the Arcade version. as well as introducing me to the existence of the Classic Series NES port of this game, go check out his video on Mario Bros. when you're done reading this review. besides that, I had originally planned to go through almost every 2D Mario in order in preparation for Wonder, starting with this game, however I backed out of it since I didn't want to risk going through Mario Burnout, but hey at least I got to try this one out.
it's a shame this is considered a black sheep of Mario since a lot of staples originated here like the coins, the pipes, the POW Block, Luigi, New York, how can you imagine Mario without those? the goal here is instead of jumping on enemies like in later games, you instead have to jump under the platform they're on and kick them into the water while they're stunned. they ease you pretty easy at first by having only Shellcreepers to deal with, but as the levels, or Phases as the game calls it goes on, they'll start adding Sidesteppers that take two hits to stun, the first making them faster, then they give you the Fighter Flies that start off real slow and can only be hit when they land on the ground, then they give out the Slipice (known as Freezie in later games) that can freeze the middle and bottom platforms if they stand on the middle of it, then they add Icicles which slowly form at the bottom of the top platforms and can defeat you if you either touch them or have them land on you, and during all that there's red and green fireballs that begin to show up more often the further you get, the red ones slowly moving diagonally through the whole area while the greens quickly zip through one of the three floors. you're probably thinking that's way too chaotic, and it is, and that's what makes it fun (and frustrating). don't worry, there's bonus games at Phase 4, 9, and every seventh one after to help you earn bonus points for lives, as well as helping to calm your nerves, but not for long. the goal there is to collect all the Coins before time runs out, and you're given 20 seconds to collect them all, enough time to easily do so once you're used to the controls, but then in the next one, all the floor is slippery and you're given 15 seconds from now on, then after that, the slippery floor turns invisible after a few seconds then it's not relaxing at all, welcome to Mario Bros. Arcade.
throughout my five or so hours put into this version, I developed some tips to make things easier such as standing on top of the POW Block during Phases that start with Sidesteppers to try and stun them when they're on the middle platform, staying on the top sometimes to not only lure the green fireballs there and safety drop down but also to make Slipices and Icicles easier to deal with, as well as stalling the first three Phases out to try and get early bonus points by defeating the red fireballs as well as chaining up Shellcreepers, ensuring I get an extra life during the third Phase. despite all my efforts, at my best I could only make my way to Phase 20 with a High Score of 166350, before I reluctantly conceded defeat and almost considered dropping the rating to 6/10. there are 23 Phases in the game before it starts looping and not being able to complete that 23rd Phase will keep me up for the rest of the life, but I was able to complete a few Phases with the Icicles so I'll happily count that as my completion for the game.
now if you want to try and have as much fun as I did, get the Arcade version. there's an Arcade Archives version of this on the Switch and it doesn't cost that much money. don't play the NES version, though considering how many times Nintendo have released that version you've probably already have, so stop playing the NES version. the sprites don't look as good, the Icicles are missing, and the difficulty has been turned down so much to the point that the game becomes boring. "But Mario's outfit in that version matches how he's normally dressed!!!" don't go using that excuse on me this was a point of history when Mario used to wear a blue cap things were different back then
this is Mario Bros. at its purest form, however if you're somehow still getting filtered despite my words of encouragement, there's an exclusive European version of the NES port that not only fixes all the sprites and bumps up the difficulty to be closer to the Arcade version, but it also adds free air movement so you're not committed to the jump, potentially reducing some stupid deaths. of course there's also the GBA remake in all the Mario Advance and Superstar Saga carts that can be considered a much better game, but I'm here to sell you on the Arcade version so at least give this one a shot first and see how far you can get.
I think I like this more than Super Mario Bros., no you are not changing my mind