Now THIS brings me back! Forget whatever I've said about Rayman or Donkey Kong, THIS is the pinnacle of 2D platforming. Every level has such a unique concept that you could base a whole game franchise upon just one level idea! And I hear you say:
"b-b-but it only has one song.... ☝️🤓 it gets pretty annoying after a while, doesn't it-"
SHUT THE FUCK YOU! The game doesn't need 50 zabillion songs like Final Fantasy, or Runescape. It only needs ONE. And it so happens that the "Red Ball Theme" is one of the best character themes of all time! Just listen to that funky, crispy, slinky bass tone. They placed those SM57s juuuust right on the bass cab. And that drum groove?! Don't even get me started. I can't even recall how many times I've ripped that groove off when I started playing as a studio musician. Eventually, Warner Bros. and Capitol Records caught on to my shenanigans and had to burn a bunch of the demo reels. But it was too late. Michael Jackson had already risen to the top of the charts with 'Someone's Squeezin' My Love For You', and I bought fifty cruise ships and lifetime supply of wine gums.
Now, you must be thinking; how come I don't remember Michael Jackson releasing a song called "Someone's Squeezin' My Love For You"?
The Illuminati. They're real. You heard it hear first. After this review, I am permanently going into hiding in an undisclosed location in north-north Sweden. Any review I may write after this is an impersonator... most likely Tom Cruise. We are quite alike, after all.
"b-b-but it only has one song.... ☝️🤓 it gets pretty annoying after a while, doesn't it-"
SHUT THE FUCK YOU! The game doesn't need 50 zabillion songs like Final Fantasy, or Runescape. It only needs ONE. And it so happens that the "Red Ball Theme" is one of the best character themes of all time! Just listen to that funky, crispy, slinky bass tone. They placed those SM57s juuuust right on the bass cab. And that drum groove?! Don't even get me started. I can't even recall how many times I've ripped that groove off when I started playing as a studio musician. Eventually, Warner Bros. and Capitol Records caught on to my shenanigans and had to burn a bunch of the demo reels. But it was too late. Michael Jackson had already risen to the top of the charts with 'Someone's Squeezin' My Love For You', and I bought fifty cruise ships and lifetime supply of wine gums.
Now, you must be thinking; how come I don't remember Michael Jackson releasing a song called "Someone's Squeezin' My Love For You"?
The Illuminati. They're real. You heard it hear first. After this review, I am permanently going into hiding in an undisclosed location in north-north Sweden. Any review I may write after this is an impersonator... most likely Tom Cruise. We are quite alike, after all.