“Completed,” I say, like I didn’t give up on level 10 of Very Hard and the last stage of Line Clear mode. I feel like that’s more fitting than actually becoming a puzzle master, though. This is the old school Pokemon Anime we’re lifting our voice clips and portraits from, after all, and Ash cannot be allowed to win lest we have to move on to a different protagonist instead of keeping this kid in a Sisyphean quest to become a Pokemon Master for 25 years.

Man, it’s weird to think that they’re actually retiring Ash, isn’t it? I never actually played this game in particular back in the day but it just oozes the vibes of the time, with graphic design being the devs’ passion and the Midi renditions of 2 B A Master’s track list. Yeah I owned that CD. I have no idea what happened to it but it’s lost to time… it was a nice nostalgia trip, this one. Team Rocket were such icons even though, much like Ash Ketchum himself, they are considerably more competent than they ever were in the anime outside of the times they weren’t doing crimes.

Maybe if they did a contemporary Panel de Pon clone I’d be more compelled to go the whole way to victory, but honestly I ain’t that good at these puzzle games. I had fun zoning the fuck out while making the matches, but at a certain point it becomes too stressful to vibe to, and if I’m going to keep losing to Giovanni it should at least be the cool one from the Adventures manga instead of the mediocre one from the anime.