What the hell did I just play? This is a serious downgrade from the original in virtually every way. Nearly the entire game consists of mazes and tiresome puzzles that wouldn't make the cut in even the weakest Zelda game. After about halfway through the game, every time I stepped into a new area and saw the fresh convoluted map on the upper screen, I just groaned. The delightful charm of the original game has all but evaporated, leaving behind a dull and lifeless experience with few new characters and greatly reduced dialogue.

Combat proves to be both monotonous and ridiculously easy, and the replacement of BP with hoardable bros items just adds to the tedium. The final boss was the cherry on top of this shit cake, taking what felt like a half hour of spamming the same two attacks to finally finish it off. They even took the fun out of finding the hidden beans. In short, Alpha Dream managed to take what should have been a straight upgrade, and turned it into a thoroughly disappointing mess.