To start off this monetization style was designed by Hitler. Not sure what kind of game deserves the unholy trio of money siphoning that is price for game + subscription + microtransaction store, but it ain't this one. The often applauded mentality of FFXIV's creator that one should play other games; that this one doesn't intend to jam its claws in you like many live service titles do, that the world will always be there waiting for its heroes to come back - is at odds with the aforementioned subscription model and comes across as a bit cynical. Yeah the game will be waiting for you as long as you pay up motherfucker, your monthly just renewed and you're burned out? May as well play the month out, don't wanna waste that hard earned coin do we? No pressure though! This of course isn't enough, The Heart of the Party that is Blizzard deserves yet another commendation for inspiring its competitors to stoop to the same level with the addition of a microtransaction shop, except the majority seems okay with this implementation because... it's not in-game? A 5headed loophole perhaps and I've seen claims that it's not as bad as others but I'm sorry, 7 fucking USD for a tea drinking emote? We've gone way past micro ladies and gents, I better get a stat boost every time I take a sip or you're taking the fucking piss. Sure I'm not so much of a dreamer to think that a live service game can continue servicing on LOVE™ alone like those 5 people still playing Guild Wars 2 (please no one tell them that it also has a shop with gold buying), with it needing server maintenance, events, updates, usual speak. But for the 3 or so months that I've been playing, every event has been an almost complete joke, crappy series of whocares cutscenes with a small reward attached, maybe a cosmetic item or 2 that fail to serve as anything other than a thing to flex on new players a year from now as a "look what you can't get ;)" before they promptly ignore you for looking like a goddamn clown. The event going on as of time of writing is admittedly the best one because you can get the funny chubby pokeymans, but... this is their 10th anniversary, an outlier and something that should've arguably been grander, and yet all they did was make you grind through old content for event currency. Maybe it would be unfair to compare it to gacha games considering their immense revenue, though I'm left wondering still what all this asking money is for; a hope that Dawntrail won't be Dawnfail, or maybe the slightly touched up visuals that were recently announced? You guys all have mods right?

Since ranting about shitthatdoesntmatter inevitably calls for the "just get more money" rebuttal, how's the game itself? Yet another modern MMO where the leveling experience is a slightly annoying rash that hopefully will go away one day if ignored enough, with only actual challenge awaiting in lategame trials and raids? Don't answer that of course, and for anyone remotely initiated that's not a flex of gamercred; it feels like a more casual, multitask-encouraging experience by design and that's not always the worst thing. Here and there I'd come across praises how XIV allegedly revolutionized the genre for people, and some of that speak I'd echo even; while maybe not a pioneer in this regard, it does feel better not running all the way back to the dungeon or a boss after a wipe ("social experience" as WoW players would call it) or having your goldbag guillotined just for wanting to respec. Eyebrow raising though is that those same people will complain about the "gather 10 bear asses" type of quest design so infamous for the genre, which I'd agree is largely basic and sucks, so how does XIV solve it? By making you gather only 3, brilliant. I jest a bit, story context makes it better but not everyone gives a damn about the story. Thinking about how many missions boil down to going to a purple circle or interacting with a marker which makes a couple of hostiles spawn (usually 3) brings forth depression, there's very little variety. On top of that playing this thing like a usual MMO, grabbing every sidequest one comes across, is the biggest mistake you could make as they give fuck all rewards and it's just infinitely wiser to push the main scenario along or at least do almost any of the other side activities like the random blue circles on the map which still give more experience for less time and effort. The main stuff alone will overboost your primary job, so I wondered what the situation is like on one of the preferred servers that give a significant +exp, made a char after which the first guild quest granted me about 5 levels on completion which genuinely reminded me of playing some private server or a game at its death door. Can see how this would make leveling side jobs much less of a hassle later on but it fucks up any shred of balance and fun. And naturally since everything's so easy it deemphasizes working with other players most of the time so they only ever get /pets if one likes the shape of their rabbit ears and not because they actually helped.

A lot of the lauded main story is very snooze inducing, there's so much backtracking working as a de facto fantasy world postman in a setting where telepathic cellphones exist (or something like that). It also reaches some genuinely embarrassing lows, like throwing away macguffins of unlimited power off the side of the cliff (surely the dimension hopping dementors following our every move won't dig them up?). The weird kicker here being that... I kinda like it? Stockholm syndrome sadly kicked in and maybe all this can be taken with a couple of salt masses. Admitting to your mistakes is one thing but also canonizing them in a successful way is another; the 1.0 version was such a shitshow that it had to be burned down, with a meteor very literally. What's left is a new beginning, a chosen one story that appears like a seemingly thankless job, in its downtime you're left listening to constant whimpers of your companions; and honestly why? Why would elf grandpa give his life away for the thousands of face 1 hime cut lizards and fair-haired not-Y'shtollas spamming the bee gees dance in Limsa, while calling me basic for picking a midlander in a world with felines and bunnoids? Why give away everything so this ungrateful scum can still complain about CBU3 not adding more than 4 faces; that they still can't separate facial hair or horns or ears from mug types, tech-illiterate peasants unable to comprehend how hard it is to master this otherworldly technology. How many more cries about not being able to change eye color without paying real $$$ must we listen to, this asshole, entitled community really believes that a world with mechs and spaceships should also have colored contact lenses? Never expected the Postman of Light's job to give me an existential crisis; it's thankless and at times unbearable but somebody has to do it, a lightbulb moment that finally helped me realize how Death Stranding fans can enjoy such a horrible looking game.

The combat lacks punchiness of some others in the genre and is known to give eye crust in its snailish starts, but feels more like an elaborate dance later on as you're constantly cycling through skills, weaving them between one another without even looking at their cooldowns; I missed that feel when you finally memorize all 30 keybinds for your abilities and slam them so methodically like you're piloting a spaceship. With Linkin Park in my veins and an unending will to compensate I stuck with the dark knight for the most part because casting abilities with names like EDGE OF DARKNESS and THE BLACKEST NIGHT is in my M.O; tanks in this game would make Warthunder jealous, their mere presence making enemies mald in furious anger as they mumble AM's hate monologue while being unable to target anyone but your flesh carapace of mithril steel; the drawback to insane sustain and option to aggro everything with a press of a button being of course the ability to also do a lot of damage, carefully balanced. And as the combat gets more involved so does the narrative, maybe insisting far too much at times at fishing for soyface YT thumbnails with fairly constant references to the rest of the franchise, but some of it does work (an encounter with a certain wandering ronin and an order of knights were highlights). Like habitually stated the postman's journey DOES get more interesting in the expansions and this rating is more so for their starting experience, but it's not a wholly "it gets better after x hours" scenario since many of my complaints still ring true and I'm not sure how long I'll keep going at it. Currently running through Stormblood and it kinda fucks but the burnout is real (Takedown to be specific as the bi-yearly replay started).

I questioned if I would turn into that annoying type of Steam reviewer with this kind of rambling. More than 300 hours in and a lot about the game bothers me, will there be enough good to mention even? Suppose I'll turn to the saying of a wise man who once noted that "playing an MMORPG these days really just boils down to what kind of dick you want to suck". Other than the monetization, nothing in this is offensively bad but the highs aren't that high either. So what else are you gonna play if you need the fix? World of Peacecraft is a dead horse so used to beating it developed M tendencies, while Classic is a shadow of not only vanilla but also its 2019-20 self. Old School Runescape is fine enough but if the wi-fi in your retirement home goes out you're fucked. No other MMO is being played and if you see anyone saying otherwise they're probably a federal agent so watch yourself.

Reviewed on Oct 09, 2023


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