"lol Sticker Star sux" is not a joke. It's not the lowest hanging fruit. Well, it IS, but the lowest hanging fruit is what sustained our ancestors in fair Lascaux. We are compelled to reach for this fruit to ensure survival and propagation of our wretched species who will, in turn, use the same hand which sought fruit to craft this absolute fucking abomination.
Experiencing Paper Mario: Sticker Star made me a worse person. Let me explain:
This is not a game. It is a flashing screen in which you may or may not have any influence on what happens. Decisions you make have no outcome on battle. Everything is preordained. I am thoroughly convinced you can select stickers at random in each battle and still come out on top. I'm convinced of this because I utilized this exact strategy in a second attempt during my 2020 playthrough. Because yes, I wanted to graft physical and mental pain in place of the looming existential caused by a pandemic.
I was only walled when it came to boss fights. You can skate by Large Goomba without using its kismet Thing sticker. However, in any other boss battle, you MUST use the invisibly assigned Thing card. There is no way to get around this. You will lose. And if you happen to not have the fated Thing card, which the game may or may not hint at, you must exit the battle, go buy the thing from the shop (or god fucking forbid, you never encountered the Thing, so now you must go track it down in the wild), and attempt the battle again. And you must use this EXACTLY ONE (1) Thing during the battle at the exact poorly-telegraphed moment to win with ease.
There is no strategy. There is no fun. Simply put, this was a $40 soundtrack released in 2012 with a completely unhinged (and un-playtested) visual experience included as a bonus. This visual experience slots into a Nintendo system, but again, it is by no means a game.
I will never forgive this alleged game for ruining an amazing series for no other reason than "Miyamoto likes Toad." If this is your favorite Paper Mario game, it is either the only one you have ever played, and thus playing it put you off the series entirely, or you are LYING. Or seeing the sexy Birdo/goat scene emulsified your brain using the 3D slider as a vector.
If it is your favorite game, or even if you think it's "good," then please by all means articulate a response. But your response cannot simply be "idk because I just liked it." Why did you like it?? What is there to like?? I don't understand!! I'm chained to this flesh prison until a zoomer can explain to me why this is an objectively good game!!
Help!!!!
Experiencing Paper Mario: Sticker Star made me a worse person. Let me explain:
This is not a game. It is a flashing screen in which you may or may not have any influence on what happens. Decisions you make have no outcome on battle. Everything is preordained. I am thoroughly convinced you can select stickers at random in each battle and still come out on top. I'm convinced of this because I utilized this exact strategy in a second attempt during my 2020 playthrough. Because yes, I wanted to graft physical and mental pain in place of the looming existential caused by a pandemic.
I was only walled when it came to boss fights. You can skate by Large Goomba without using its kismet Thing sticker. However, in any other boss battle, you MUST use the invisibly assigned Thing card. There is no way to get around this. You will lose. And if you happen to not have the fated Thing card, which the game may or may not hint at, you must exit the battle, go buy the thing from the shop (or god fucking forbid, you never encountered the Thing, so now you must go track it down in the wild), and attempt the battle again. And you must use this EXACTLY ONE (1) Thing during the battle at the exact poorly-telegraphed moment to win with ease.
There is no strategy. There is no fun. Simply put, this was a $40 soundtrack released in 2012 with a completely unhinged (and un-playtested) visual experience included as a bonus. This visual experience slots into a Nintendo system, but again, it is by no means a game.
I will never forgive this alleged game for ruining an amazing series for no other reason than "Miyamoto likes Toad." If this is your favorite Paper Mario game, it is either the only one you have ever played, and thus playing it put you off the series entirely, or you are LYING. Or seeing the sexy Birdo/goat scene emulsified your brain using the 3D slider as a vector.
If it is your favorite game, or even if you think it's "good," then please by all means articulate a response. But your response cannot simply be "idk because I just liked it." Why did you like it?? What is there to like?? I don't understand!! I'm chained to this flesh prison until a zoomer can explain to me why this is an objectively good game!!
Help!!!!