I know I'm late to the party on this but Sand Land took priority and my consoomer gene took over so that Fallout 4 next gen update replay couldn't be stopped which took WAY longer than I thought.

Stellar Blade was something I had A LOT more interest in after playing the demo as opposed to its marketing campaign, which it desperately needed due to them being allergic to showing any non zoomer style fast paced editing that showed little of its combat of as opposed to the "Hot lady, uncensored outfits" focus but more on that later. I am happy to say the potential I saw in the demo was met, Stellar Blade is a fine action game from start to finish. So much so I am on another playthrough as I write this immediately after beating it which isn't something I do often, to get the final ending for the platinum and the new game plus patch helped in that regard.

The game's story, I'll be honest just seemed to exist in order to have a plot. Even the sense of mystery and intrigue the game had the characters would either immediately hint at its truth or outright say in an uninterested manor but that might just be due to the voice which, at least in english, was middle of the road. I thought Eve's (the player character) voice acting was the best and Adam, the second most prominent character, was the worst. Just the way he said so much came off as disinterested or "Reading the lines right off the page", almost was waiting for him to say the emotional tone all "DISSAPOINTED" style. If the naming of characters wasn't already enough of a giveaway, most should be able to piece it together within a few hours. The music was something I liked a lot more than the story though, as it had that somber singular vocal style I tend to enjoy a lot in games. The comparisons to Nier are not unfounded.

In terms of said action gameplay, Stellar Blade does a lot of things right with a lot of the staples I have come to expect of the genre. You have your perfect parries, perfect dodges, special moves, ranged options, variable combos and a skill tree to unlock and improve abilities all which come together to form a mostly cohesive battle system with only a couple of trip ups mostly due to needing to hold down some buttons immediately after some parries which lead me to use abilities instead. The first thing that got me was its variable combos, now it's nothing new to the genre but I still always enjoy a basic attack that's more than 4 lights and a heavy. Splicing heavy attacks into lights for different combos is nothing new but being able to go from Light>Heavy>Light for a completely different combo on top of the basic Light>Light>Light>Heavy>Heavy allowed the combat to stave off staleness in its first 2/3's. The only thing I wish there was more of in terms of basic combat was some more aerial options as there isn't much of a reason to even try fighting mid jump. Most, not all, of Eve's basic attacks could be dodge or parry canceled and it will be one of your most used mechanics. Parrying and Dodging are not only your main defensive options but they both increase your meters for special moves which as the game progressed I found myself using MUCH more as they outclass your basic damage by a large margin which they should as they use a resource. Every enemy as well as Eve has a "Shield" meter which reduces all incoming damage until it is depleted and then full damage is taken. Being able to get rid of it quickly is the main gameplan which reduces any form of damage while it’s active. However if you learn to parry effectively you can exploit the enemies (including bosses), I actually forget what they call it so let's call it poise, meter which is reduced by one every perfect parry. Once it's depleted you get to do a high damaging execution style attack that will kill most early and mid game enemies instantly, just like stealth attacks. However not all enemies have it though so you'll be brute forcing those enemies who are either lowest level fodder or annoying ranged ones. I'm not much of a parry or dodge centric individual, I'm an unga bunga tank kinda guy, but it was satisfying to perfect dodge a full combo or parry an entire combo into a high damage takedown. That being said, combat in the last leg of the game I felt got WAY too tedious and almost felt like it wanted you to tackle every fight with ability and poise meter depletion which just slowed fights to a crawl. Even with the main weapon leveled to its maximum to what available, even when shields were depleted it felt like chip damage. This is why I found myself spamming abilities more often in the late game which, imo, ruined the combat to some extent. The game also gets points off for introducing insta kills on late game bosses. I don't care if they can be stopped and you can just revive should you have an item, it's cheap. I died on the final boss due to not seeing the white on white target but I had the revive so it's whatever. The game made up those points in other ways such as not having many back to back or one life bar per phase boss fights in general though the boss variety could have used some boosting as you'll fight "same boss but different color/effect" several times if you're doing side content.

The side content in the game is the usual game fair at this point, fetch quests, grab these items, fight this enemy etc. Some of these were tied to character stories and as such were the more unique ones and if you want what easily seems to be the "best/canon" ending you best do them all anyway along with getting as many collectables as you can of which there's A LOT. Honestly I think too many, especially when getting around isn't exactly fast or fun. Hope you like deserts cuz two of the largest explorable ones are just that and I think 25 of my 33 hours was spent in them. Eve does run quite fast but she slows down when an enemy aggros and their fields of vision are far and like 330 degrees I swear. They can't hear you running behind them for a stealth kill but if you're not DIRECTLY behind them then they'll know you're coming. The only other way around is via fast travel points such as your camps, where you will respawn upon death, and phones which you unlock by activating, however you're only able to teleport to camps with phones which still makes some long trips between points of interest. It doesn't help that you cannot set a custom waypoint unless it's on some mission objective or other map poi. At the very least most of the other places you'll go are linear to the point they have no map and varied in terms of environment to even out the double desert debuff. How does this game have more desert than Sand Land, a series ABOUT A DESERT?! Can I also just say that I loved there was a platforming puzzle with the playstation button icons that turned into their colors when jumped on? I sure do hope whoever made the ps5 controller has buttons with no color got fired or they release a one with the correct coloration at some point. Oh yeah there's fishing too, and that was a fun few hours getting them all.

I've seen this game be called "Booty Souls", "Gooner Souls'' and "Horny Souls" but I don't see really see a souls comparison here outside of the fact it has specific respawn points at the camps you need to activate and enemies respawn when you sit at them. Is the game difficult? Not really no, at least on normal cuz yes the game has difficulty options but there's no leveling or stat allocation, only skill points, which imo is the main component of what makes a souls game a souls game outside of difficulty. Make no mistake I did die a few times which were mostly due to fall damage as I was awful at timing the negation or getting hit by one of those long telegraphed attacks you're given all the time in the world to avoid. However rarely did a standard encounter ever make me worry, they were more of a nuisance than anything at best even when it was 4 v 1. It's closer to Sekiro which I also don't consider a souls game for the same level related reason. Main difference between that as well is Eve can take 10 times the amount of hits Sekiro man can since he has the defenses of wet 1 ply toilet paper. I'm sure it's much closer to that bullshit while wearing the skinsuit since it disables the shield. It's such a shame that "pretty lady" is what this game will be known for

I guess it's time to address, or rather dress, Eve. Yes she's conventionally attractive, yes her outfits are cover of vogue style or centerfold levels. I had the ability to play this game both patched and unpatched since I still buy discs and I'll install updates when I deem it necessary. I'll be honest, uncensored or not, I didn't really like most of the outfits and I unlocked most if not all of them from the initial playthrough. NG+ added alt color options for most and one entirely new outfit but my stance didn't change. Once I got the Full Black Dress outfit I exclusively used it on that first playthrough though on NG+ I considered going with the bear suit for some high octane Naughty Bear action. The censoring on the outfits felt kind of lazily implemented and I'm sorry but with the information that's come out what with the devs and the CEO going "Oh I think they look better this way" and "It was our choice", it begs me to ask why even make them revealing in the first place. It was clearly the main marketing tool well before launch and I do not believe no one ever once said "Nah these aren't good, we gotta change them" with how fast it was implemented. Like fucking Sony let this shit on there, those prudes, so it doens't make sense. Now it just makes this dev look like liars. It's also one thing for a Korean dev to not know that the unfortunate placement of "Hard" graffiti next to a neon "R" sign looks like slang for a racial slur, it's another to design multiple revealing outfits. Also you fuckers make Nikke, you don't have any sort of ground to stand on when it comes to outfit and character designs. That being said, there's more you can customize other than Eve's actual outfits. There's glasses and earrings which I didn't touch either of as I'm not really one for jewelry and I didn't like any of the glasses. You can also change the "base hair", I don't know what to call it but it's the head hair that more than just bangs that isn't the ponytail which the latter can be short or long. I made Eve a redhead cuz if anything I'm consistent though it seemed colors were style locked as the one I really wanted to use didn't have red as an option. It was honestly a missed opportunity to not have the title screen Eve reflect your customization. The supporting characters have outfits too but I only found 2 for each and I do not know if there are more.


There's a fun action game here, for the most part. Satisfying combo, parry and dodging along with variable abilities for that extra OOMPH. The combat does get a little dragged out in the back end unfortunately, the story tries to be interesting but is undermined by its predictable nature and varying voice acting. The actual exploration leaves things to be desired but that can be ignored if one so chooses. I would hope someone on the fence about this game who likes action games can look past the sex appeal cuz you have a good time here in that regard.

Reviewed on May 20, 2024


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