Biker girl gang pummels their way to dominance, recruiting defeated bosses, buying decorations for their room, and making scary faces at one another in intimidation mini-games. It's heaven on paper, but is marred by a simple one-button control scheme that makes combat either boring or intensely punishing depending on what items you purchase to bolster your stats. But hey, one of the boss fights takes place to a cover of "Holding Out for a Hero" so...

It's also got some incredibly damaging fatphobia in there which has aged like rotten milk, so be aware of that before starting.

Cho Aniki for the ladies. You can spot this devteam's work from space. A poorly balanced, rotten feeling Final Fight clone carried hard by the aesthetics of the sukeban-bosozoku themed spritework and rockabilly soundtrack. It won me over by letting me buy a cool poster of the game's composer to put on the wall of my room.

+ detailed, cool, and funny spritework and a fitting soundtrack really sell the vibes
+ the room customization between stages is a cute touch even if it doesnt really do anything
- gameplay is repetitive and depthless, the whole roster feels samey, and the difficulty is only either irritatingly brutal or boringly easy
- the grossly overdetailed spritework was mostly what i expected but man this has like the most hateful depiction of a fat lady ive ever seen jeez

I still think I'll play it again sometime, though...

It’s 1995, the PC Engine was close to saying it’s goodbye with less than 50 games left in the system’s life and the next generation of consoles were coming out in a few months. What does NEC Avenue do? Make a beat em up that would probably mystify anyone who tried to play it. This is especially so in the US for anyone who played it out of curiosity. This game is mostly known for its art that strikes a different feel than really any game I’ve seen that’s had a female cast. It’s a game I would point to for trying to go all in on the presentation and almost nothing else.

This is a beat em up where you go through 5 stages with the first 4 being able to be played through any order you like. You can choose from 3 characters but they basically play the same. You can punch, you can kick, you can grab and throw, you can do a special move that costs health and you can hit an enemy while they’re down. I’m not kidding, that’s basically all there is to the combat of this game. Don’t expect to do any unique attack combos or anything as you’ll be doing the same few things over and over again. You can even unlock other characters but they’re basically the same in gameplay just with different ways of attacking like one having a sword.

The levels are all practically the same with the same enemies in every single stage. There is little variety here to sink your teeth in and besides the girls on motorcycles, you’ll pretty much be fighting the same couple of enemies in the exact same ways. This game is very easy but to put a disadvantage on you, you have very little health and each girl is basically a single life. Better not be too reckless because it can lead to your downfall and back to the beginning of the section with you. But once you figure it all out, it’s pretty easy.

The bosses are pretty awful that you might even question if they are bosses if it weren’t for the text they have before fighting. Seriously you can even just grab the boss and just pull on their hair over and over until they’re down. Even the final boss is a joke. I really have nothing else to say here.

There’s also this shop you can go to after every stage and I really don’t know what most of this stuff does. I think some of it does give you buffs and possibly more characters? I’m pretty sure some of it is just for decoration for the house you’re in. If anyone knows what all that stuff in there does, I’d like to know. I’m also pretty sure getting the bike is meant to unlock a minigame but it did nothing for me, what the hell. Oh right there’s also a bonus game you can do for more money where you mash on the pad quickly as your character makes really scary faces like good god is some of it horrifying. You can even do this with a second player if you do it from the start up menu. Huh I just realized there’s no co-op in this game, wtf.

The presentation is the highlight for the game. The art is already weird and creepy and maybe even scary. The character designs are far from cute outside of maybe a couple of girls but if they were hoping to get reactions out of me well mission accomplished. That said, stuff like the sprites lack much animation and the environments get repetitive quickly. I’m also pretty sure some things just aren’t finished like sometimes the hair pull animation just isn’t even properly there for some characters and it actually looks really bad. There’re barely any cutscenes in the game which is a huge shame, I would have loved some over the top ones. The music is just weird like if you told me they got the Cho Aniki composer in here for this, I’d believe you. I swear one song sounds like the beginning of that one song that’s like “I need a hero!!” There’s also no voice acting which surprises me, I wonder if it was a choice or just budget issues.

Ane-San is an abysmal game that might be some of the worst from the genre. Every level looks and plays the same, the bosses aren’t memorable and there’s little variety to keep even someone simple minded intrigued to replay it. Despite that though, it gives an experience like no other and to give it credit on something, it’s at least not frustrating at any single point. Some might raise an eyebrow at my score but look it may be awful but it’s like a stupid kind of awful that gives it a weird charm to it all. Though I’d still recommend you just stay away from it unless you’re just curious or like stupid odd games.