Convinced it’s a psyops by some developers to suck off your energy and brain cells. First it pulls you in with its polished presentation and promise of captivating shmup gameplay. Then as you take control, you are suddenly burdened by its piss ass controls, insultingly easy difficulty and inoffensive, bland, stale environments and setting. As varied in taste as a raw block of tofu, the game jinglies its keys in front of you with its bobbing and pop-ins of wonderfully polished vfx and pixel animations, but that alone cant help the fact that this game just feels so weirdly sterile - as it it was concocted in a lab with multiple focus groups to create a generalization of a genre onto mobile devices, sprinkled with enough currencies, scrires and menus to husk ur soul away.

An (aggressively) easy shmup for mobile devices. Navigating a shmup-style plane with a touch screen sucks. There are cute enough ideas in here, but I don't have enough patience to warrant giving them any of my time.

I tried this out simply because I canceled my Netflix subscription after realizing that I truly just don't watch shows on Netflix anymore, or shows in general for that matter. I figured since I have a couple weeks left I might as well try out some of their phone games.

It wasn't really worth it.

Poinpy is great though. If you have Netflix and a smartphone, play Poinpy. It fuckin' poinps.