The Bard's Tale: Remastered and Resnarkled
released on Aug 16, 2017
A remaster of The Bard's Tale
You are the Bard: a selfish rogue weary of pointless sub-quests and rat-infested cellars. Through magical song you summon characters to join your quest for coin and cleavage!
Released on
Genres
Reviews View More
still genuinely funny at a lot of times but also oof some of this shit sure don't age well
i'm sure the anti woke crowd would get real horny over it if it were any fun to play, which is the other place it doesn't age well, it's a pretty rough game, and this remaster barely runs on pc under the best of circumstances
i'm led to believe the console versions are better at least??
anyway not really worth replaying, unfortunately, but, here i did it anyway
the bard and the narrator make an excellent pair, though
i'm sure the anti woke crowd would get real horny over it if it were any fun to play, which is the other place it doesn't age well, it's a pretty rough game, and this remaster barely runs on pc under the best of circumstances
i'm led to believe the console versions are better at least??
anyway not really worth replaying, unfortunately, but, here i did it anyway
the bard and the narrator make an excellent pair, though
This game just makes me happy.
Easily one of my favorite childhood games, I adored the Bard's Tale as a kid and young teen. And now as an adult I still adore it. From the parodying it does of RPGs and Fantasy altogther is great while still being a good RPG on it's own. The summoning system, the bard's character and voice acting as well as all the musical parts still hold up very well. Sure the graphics are dated, and there are obviously better RPGs but this is still a treat to play if you can stand a little bit of wonky controls and dated graphics.
If you're a fan of CRPGs you will probably love this, not because it itself is a great CRPG, no, it's a decent ARPG, but the story and world and events all parody the tropes of say Baldur's Gate and other classic fantasy and it is so fun, the voice acting too, ahhh, the voice acting, Tony Jay and Cary Elwes are just amazing, and all the side characters too are just perfect in their roles and hilarious in their line delivery.
The Bard's Tale's story, characters, music, and fourth wall breaking are still a treat to play and watch, and you should get it. It's a happy game for me and it could be for you too!
Easily one of my favorite childhood games, I adored the Bard's Tale as a kid and young teen. And now as an adult I still adore it. From the parodying it does of RPGs and Fantasy altogther is great while still being a good RPG on it's own. The summoning system, the bard's character and voice acting as well as all the musical parts still hold up very well. Sure the graphics are dated, and there are obviously better RPGs but this is still a treat to play if you can stand a little bit of wonky controls and dated graphics.
If you're a fan of CRPGs you will probably love this, not because it itself is a great CRPG, no, it's a decent ARPG, but the story and world and events all parody the tropes of say Baldur's Gate and other classic fantasy and it is so fun, the voice acting too, ahhh, the voice acting, Tony Jay and Cary Elwes are just amazing, and all the side characters too are just perfect in their roles and hilarious in their line delivery.
The Bard's Tale's story, characters, music, and fourth wall breaking are still a treat to play and watch, and you should get it. It's a happy game for me and it could be for you too!
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
A chosen one of many isn't new
When you think you're full of luck
in the bullock's you'll get struck
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
The wolves over yonder packed a punch
So listen carefully to our hunch
To be the chosen one
Really sound like loads of fun.
But in the end you'll just be someone's lunch.
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
The prophecy is never coming true
In a pickle you'll be stuck
Like a chicken you'll cluck
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
Your mourning for this boy was very brief.
You certainly did not show any grief.
You pillaged his cadaver
But in the end it didn't matter
You're nothing but a two-bit common thief
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
Don't think for just a second it's not true
When your life has run amuck
You'll see that you're the schmuck.
Oh, it's bad luck to be
Really bad luck to be
Nobody could disagree.
It's a freaking guarantee.
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
Diddly doo.
A chosen one of many isn't new
When you think you're full of luck
in the bullock's you'll get struck
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
The wolves over yonder packed a punch
So listen carefully to our hunch
To be the chosen one
Really sound like loads of fun.
But in the end you'll just be someone's lunch.
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
The prophecy is never coming true
In a pickle you'll be stuck
Like a chicken you'll cluck
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
Your mourning for this boy was very brief.
You certainly did not show any grief.
You pillaged his cadaver
But in the end it didn't matter
You're nothing but a two-bit common thief
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
Don't think for just a second it's not true
When your life has run amuck
You'll see that you're the schmuck.
Oh, it's bad luck to be
Really bad luck to be
Nobody could disagree.
It's a freaking guarantee.
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
Diddly doo.
This is a trophy hunting review
While I adore this game and it's dose of nostaglia (props to Tony Jay for that amazing voice), the game can easily be cheesed with a debug menu which allows you to beat the game in a single night. If you want to increase your enjoyment, I strongly suggest playing the game normally.
While I adore this game and it's dose of nostaglia (props to Tony Jay for that amazing voice), the game can easily be cheesed with a debug menu which allows you to beat the game in a single night. If you want to increase your enjoyment, I strongly suggest playing the game normally.
Didn't age well but the humor behind it is where it gets all its charm.
Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer
A long time ago way back in history
When all there was to drink, was nothing but cups of tea.
Along came a man by the name of Charlie Mopps,
And he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hops.
Hey!
He must have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king.
And to his praises we shall always sing.
Look at what he's done for us, he's filled us up with cheer.
Lord Bless Charlies Mopps the man who invented
Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer
The Drunken Rat, the Aiken Drum, the Trowles Pub as well,
One thing you can be sure of, it's Charlie's beer they sell
So all ye lads and lasses at eleven o'clock ye stop.
For five short seconds, remember Charlie Mopps.
One,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five...
Hey!
He must have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king.
And to his praises we shall always sing.
Look at what he's done for us, he's filled us up with cheer.
Lord Bless Charlie Mopps the man who invented
Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer
A barrel of malt, a bushel of hops, you stir it around with a stick.
The kind of lubrication to make your engines tick.
forty pints of wallop a day will keep away the quacks.
Its only eight pence ha-penny, and one and six in tax.
One,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five...
Hey!
He must have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king.
And to his praises we shall always sing.
Look at what he's done for us, he's filled us up with cheer.
Lord Bless Charlie Mopps the man who invented
Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer.
The Lord bless Charlie Mopps.
A long time ago way back in history
When all there was to drink, was nothing but cups of tea.
Along came a man by the name of Charlie Mopps,
And he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hops.
Hey!
He must have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king.
And to his praises we shall always sing.
Look at what he's done for us, he's filled us up with cheer.
Lord Bless Charlies Mopps the man who invented
Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer
The Drunken Rat, the Aiken Drum, the Trowles Pub as well,
One thing you can be sure of, it's Charlie's beer they sell
So all ye lads and lasses at eleven o'clock ye stop.
For five short seconds, remember Charlie Mopps.
One,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five...
Hey!
He must have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king.
And to his praises we shall always sing.
Look at what he's done for us, he's filled us up with cheer.
Lord Bless Charlie Mopps the man who invented
Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer
A barrel of malt, a bushel of hops, you stir it around with a stick.
The kind of lubrication to make your engines tick.
forty pints of wallop a day will keep away the quacks.
Its only eight pence ha-penny, and one and six in tax.
One,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five...
Hey!
He must have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king.
And to his praises we shall always sing.
Look at what he's done for us, he's filled us up with cheer.
Lord Bless Charlie Mopps the man who invented
Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer.
The Lord bless Charlie Mopps.