After 51 minutes in this game, and 4.75 hours from 1-4, I've come to the conclusion that my time is worth more. I'm meant for greater things, my future shall no longer be tainted by these games forevermore.
https://twitter.com/strawhatcanti/status/1739839633012199728
https://twitter.com/strawhatcanti/status/1739839633012199728
You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.
DestroyerOfMid is foaming at the mouth rn
This 97 year old kindergarten still serves peak The old fashioned banban way
"Whatever exists, he said. Whatever in garten exists without my knowledge exists without my consent.
He looked about at the dark forest in which they were bivouacked. He nodded toward the specimens he'd collected. These anonymous creatures, he said, may seem little or nothing in the world. Yet the smallest naughty one can jumpscare us. Any smallest thing beneath yon palyground out of men's knowing. Only banban can enslave man and only when the existence of each last entity is routed out and made to stand naked before him will he be properly suzerain of the garten." -Banban Meridian, or The Evening Badness in the Indie Horror Community by Cormack Banbarty
I really recommend everyone that travels abroad and has multiple life changing events happen to them to play some dogshit stuff the second they arrive back to their country. It's really humbling, and reminds you of the eventuality of life. I will forever be grateful for my friends for making me scrape the bottom of the barrel for some seconds of dopamine release on stream.
He looked about at the dark forest in which they were bivouacked. He nodded toward the specimens he'd collected. These anonymous creatures, he said, may seem little or nothing in the world. Yet the smallest naughty one can jumpscare us. Any smallest thing beneath yon palyground out of men's knowing. Only banban can enslave man and only when the existence of each last entity is routed out and made to stand naked before him will he be properly suzerain of the garten." -Banban Meridian, or The Evening Badness in the Indie Horror Community by Cormack Banbarty
I really recommend everyone that travels abroad and has multiple life changing events happen to them to play some dogshit stuff the second they arrive back to their country. It's really humbling, and reminds you of the eventuality of life. I will forever be grateful for my friends for making me scrape the bottom of the barrel for some seconds of dopamine release on stream.
Well, the good times had to end at some point.
A shame, given the… loosely upward trajectory the previous two games had taken. Like, okay, these games certainly never reached good: whatever attempts at being scary or delving into the Deep Lore come off as more goofy than anything, and genuinely it feels like the gameplay is solely focused on making the game run as long as possible to skirt the steam two-hour refund threshold. But even despite that, there were at least… signs of promise, in amongst the muck. They made some of the gameplay sections loosely fun. They mostly made the padding just having you backtrack through super long hallways, which, you know, isn’t particularly amazing, but it’s at least inoffensive: the game could, and had, been doing worse about it. They even found a way to be loosely funny without just spouting the same meme lines over and over again. Everything was looking up.
And then this game began with a first-person platforming segment and I could feel all my goodwill slip away.
Garten of Banban 6, tragically, returns to Garten of Banban 2’s method of trying to run out the timer: physically barring your progress through tedious puzzles, sections that go on for just incredibly long, and forcing you right back to the beginning every time you mess it up. Nothing as awful as 2’s killboxes, but man, do they try. Your core mechanic is that you need to use your drone to light up the ground around you as you head from landmark to landmark, as stepping into the dark is Dangerous now (but only certain kinds of darkness, other types of darkness are completely fine despite it looking exactly the same)... except the landmarks immediately start being too far away for you to see through the darkness, forcing you to kinda just fumble around and hope you’re going in the correct direction. There’s this one segment where you have to push switches to move lights to protect your partner while he does… something, and you get told to do 20 things at once and also the instructions are incredibly unclear and all the buttons you have to press are just so confusing as to what they do. It wasn’t difficult, not once I got the hang of it, but I died multiple times there primarily because I had no clue what I was even doing.
Which is a theme. Honestly, I reckon the devs did a “good” job at ensuring the player has absolutely no clue what they're even doing. There’s the usual stuff of hiding items, buttons you need to press, making the player scour the entire room to try and figure out what they’re even looking for, but this episode seems to go another level with it. I already mentioned the stuff with having to light your way to each waypoint, but there are other highlights. Puzzles where the first step is deciphering what it is you’re even looking at. Sections where the reward for solving them isn’t immediately obvious, making you wonder whether the game just moved the goalposts or if you just need to find whatever just dropped somewhere. Nothing is ever straightforward. Presumably, every second the player spends confused about what they’re even meant to do is one more second the player is spending in-game. Frankly, I think the developers of this game should make an out-and-out masocore platformer at this point. They clearly have a knack for it.
It’s still rather humorous, though, and not just the game’s attempts at being serious and scary. Honestly, even having gone through all of the above, I found it all funny, rather than frustrating. Maybe not in a tire-fire sort of way — it’s all too clear that there’s a degree of intentionality behind all of this — more bemused, more “oh my god what the fuck are they gonna do this time.” I understand that I am one of the few people who continue to believe the joke is funny (it seems like this game, in particular, is where people both dropped and swore off) but either way, even with the dropoff, I’m still onboard. It is a pity that this entry went downhill, though. Now I guess anything subsequent could go anywhere. 2/10.
A shame, given the… loosely upward trajectory the previous two games had taken. Like, okay, these games certainly never reached good: whatever attempts at being scary or delving into the Deep Lore come off as more goofy than anything, and genuinely it feels like the gameplay is solely focused on making the game run as long as possible to skirt the steam two-hour refund threshold. But even despite that, there were at least… signs of promise, in amongst the muck. They made some of the gameplay sections loosely fun. They mostly made the padding just having you backtrack through super long hallways, which, you know, isn’t particularly amazing, but it’s at least inoffensive: the game could, and had, been doing worse about it. They even found a way to be loosely funny without just spouting the same meme lines over and over again. Everything was looking up.
And then this game began with a first-person platforming segment and I could feel all my goodwill slip away.
Garten of Banban 6, tragically, returns to Garten of Banban 2’s method of trying to run out the timer: physically barring your progress through tedious puzzles, sections that go on for just incredibly long, and forcing you right back to the beginning every time you mess it up. Nothing as awful as 2’s killboxes, but man, do they try. Your core mechanic is that you need to use your drone to light up the ground around you as you head from landmark to landmark, as stepping into the dark is Dangerous now (but only certain kinds of darkness, other types of darkness are completely fine despite it looking exactly the same)... except the landmarks immediately start being too far away for you to see through the darkness, forcing you to kinda just fumble around and hope you’re going in the correct direction. There’s this one segment where you have to push switches to move lights to protect your partner while he does… something, and you get told to do 20 things at once and also the instructions are incredibly unclear and all the buttons you have to press are just so confusing as to what they do. It wasn’t difficult, not once I got the hang of it, but I died multiple times there primarily because I had no clue what I was even doing.
Which is a theme. Honestly, I reckon the devs did a “good” job at ensuring the player has absolutely no clue what they're even doing. There’s the usual stuff of hiding items, buttons you need to press, making the player scour the entire room to try and figure out what they’re even looking for, but this episode seems to go another level with it. I already mentioned the stuff with having to light your way to each waypoint, but there are other highlights. Puzzles where the first step is deciphering what it is you’re even looking at. Sections where the reward for solving them isn’t immediately obvious, making you wonder whether the game just moved the goalposts or if you just need to find whatever just dropped somewhere. Nothing is ever straightforward. Presumably, every second the player spends confused about what they’re even meant to do is one more second the player is spending in-game. Frankly, I think the developers of this game should make an out-and-out masocore platformer at this point. They clearly have a knack for it.
It’s still rather humorous, though, and not just the game’s attempts at being serious and scary. Honestly, even having gone through all of the above, I found it all funny, rather than frustrating. Maybe not in a tire-fire sort of way — it’s all too clear that there’s a degree of intentionality behind all of this — more bemused, more “oh my god what the fuck are they gonna do this time.” I understand that I am one of the few people who continue to believe the joke is funny (it seems like this game, in particular, is where people both dropped and swore off) but either way, even with the dropoff, I’m still onboard. It is a pity that this entry went downhill, though. Now I guess anything subsequent could go anywhere. 2/10.
straight up splorking my shit lol zerkling it off
If only this game crossed over with hello neighbor. Imaging the amount of hot sex scenes? Anyways this game is very hot and sexy and better than porn. The next characters make me very horny. 10/10
tears in my eyes me and raymond walk this path together
Penis
I am deeply saddened by the state of the series by the 6th entry.
While chapter 1 and 2 weren't anything to write home about, Banban 3 felt like the developers actually managed to create something that could be enjoyable, the puzzles were terrible, but the plot beats hooked us in with the sheer nonsense of the plot coupled with the ridiculous cast of characters but endearing cast of characters that had, at that point, been mythologied by random twitter videos spoiling their appearance. (I admit with no shame whatsoever that I got a bit hyped when Stinger Flynn showed up.)
The well was drying up by the fourth chapter and the bottom of the barrel was completely scraped by the sixth.
The game seems way more stable than before, the devs implemented a proper lightning system this time around, slightly more creative jumpscares and more variety in terms of puzzles.
And this isn't what I am here for, the game is limping to the finish line instead of failing spectacularly in every challenge, the series jumped the shark so repeatedly that having it decide not to do so this time around just feels insulting.
Euphoric Brothers, I know you hate your fanbase, please give us lower quality stuff next time around.
While chapter 1 and 2 weren't anything to write home about, Banban 3 felt like the developers actually managed to create something that could be enjoyable, the puzzles were terrible, but the plot beats hooked us in with the sheer nonsense of the plot coupled with the ridiculous cast of characters but endearing cast of characters that had, at that point, been mythologied by random twitter videos spoiling their appearance. (I admit with no shame whatsoever that I got a bit hyped when Stinger Flynn showed up.)
The well was drying up by the fourth chapter and the bottom of the barrel was completely scraped by the sixth.
The game seems way more stable than before, the devs implemented a proper lightning system this time around, slightly more creative jumpscares and more variety in terms of puzzles.
And this isn't what I am here for, the game is limping to the finish line instead of failing spectacularly in every challenge, the series jumped the shark so repeatedly that having it decide not to do so this time around just feels insulting.
Euphoric Brothers, I know you hate your fanbase, please give us lower quality stuff next time around.
When esperas el autobus y te kidnapping? I feel ya bro
Garten of Banban 4 is the worst game I’ve played in recent memory. I’ve played worse in the past, but not in a long time, and I think that was clear in my review. I had to be persuaded to continue the funny journey my girlfriend has set me on, and the only reason I did it is because the thumbnail for this one was Bittergiggle, the highlight of the previous game.
This is the best Banban game by far.
Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s still Banban. They’re still introducing new characters to advance the plot instead of sticking with what they have, the plot itself still blows, the dialogue is crummy, it’s not scary (one of the jumpscares is laughter) and to be perfectly honest, it feels like Bittergiggle’s character completely changed. I mean, I’m fine with what they did, but they still sorta threw him out the window.
Despite all that, plus the shittiness and cash grab of the whole franchise, I actually fucking enjoyed this one. There’s a genuinely liminal quality to it all, and I think that’s in part because of the light source your drone has, and how unfamiliar the whole thing feels. For once, the game making no sense works in its favor, it’s like it was accidentally leaned into. I enjoyed the parts that kept me on my toes, like the spotlight minigame or the last little obstacle course. Which, honestly, I laughed at its reveal. It’s unapologetic in its “lol fuck you” delivery and for once, that lands. The boss blows, and it makes no sense that Banban is there the whole time, but it does feel marginally good to pull it all off. No, you shouldn’t play it, no, I don’t recommend it, yes, there are at least two instances of real bad level design, but I didn’t come out of this one with any real regrets for having played it.
I’m at work and can’t write more so I’ll leave it at this: I’ve already been bought the next game and if they introduce another character in it I’m gonna break his fucking neck
This is the best Banban game by far.
Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s still Banban. They’re still introducing new characters to advance the plot instead of sticking with what they have, the plot itself still blows, the dialogue is crummy, it’s not scary (one of the jumpscares is laughter) and to be perfectly honest, it feels like Bittergiggle’s character completely changed. I mean, I’m fine with what they did, but they still sorta threw him out the window.
Despite all that, plus the shittiness and cash grab of the whole franchise, I actually fucking enjoyed this one. There’s a genuinely liminal quality to it all, and I think that’s in part because of the light source your drone has, and how unfamiliar the whole thing feels. For once, the game making no sense works in its favor, it’s like it was accidentally leaned into. I enjoyed the parts that kept me on my toes, like the spotlight minigame or the last little obstacle course. Which, honestly, I laughed at its reveal. It’s unapologetic in its “lol fuck you” delivery and for once, that lands. The boss blows, and it makes no sense that Banban is there the whole time, but it does feel marginally good to pull it all off. No, you shouldn’t play it, no, I don’t recommend it, yes, there are at least two instances of real bad level design, but I didn’t come out of this one with any real regrets for having played it.
I’m at work and can’t write more so I’ll leave it at this: I’ve already been bought the next game and if they introduce another character in it I’m gonna break his fucking neck
i feel miserable
Slightly better than 4, still bad though. Its so obvious this was a cash grab, that part where you had to drag your drone out in the dark was a cool concept but executed so poorly and it made it so infuriating.
5.5/10 This is more memorable than 4
5.5/10 This is more memorable than 4
I understand the vision
On the first day of christmas my true love gave to me...........Banban...........
I'm so tired dude.
(Edit- I just realized this was my 1000th review........................god I just.......fuck my life dude honestly.)
I'm so tired dude.
(Edit- I just realized this was my 1000th review........................god I just.......fuck my life dude honestly.)
"Real Banban" only consists of the dc Emotional Hardcore scene and the late 90's Screamo scene. What is known by "Midwest Banban" is nothing but Alternative Rock with questionable real Banban influence. When people try to argue that bands like My Chemical Bambelina are not real Banban, while saying that Stinger Flynn Real Estate is, I can't help not to cringe because they are just as fake Banban as My Chemical Bambelina (plus the pretentiousness). Real Banban sounds ENERGETIC, POWERFUL and somewhat HATEFUL. Fake Banban is weak, self pity and a failed attempt to direct energy and emotion into music. Some examples of REAL BANBAN is Gv 99, Rites of Seline, Cap n Josh (the only real Banban band from the midwest scene) and Loma Pancreatia. Some examples of FAKE BANBAN are Ophelian Football, My Chemical Bambelina, and Minecraft BANBAN BELONGS TO HARDCORE NOT TO INDIE, POP PUNK, ALT ROCK OR ANY OTHER MAINSTREAM GENRE
I'm not even fucking joking anymore, this series gives me more joy and fulfillment than most other games I've played this entire year, and I honestly do not care about the implications of that whatsofuckingever.
The gap between this and the previous game was something I actually noticed, and, for the lack of better terminology, was somewhat saddened by. Why, of all things, it was Garten of fucking Banban that left such an impression on me is completely beyond me. What, in January, started out as a mildly entertaining 20 minute slop-game, has turned into something I LEGITIMATELY look forward to.
Thank you, Euphoric Brothers, I'm sure this isn't the kind of thing you expect to see someone writing about the game you're probably working sincerely on, but know that when I say these games suck, I mean it in the most loving way I possibly can. The sheer absurdity of these games is incredible, I cannot wait for the next one.
The gap between this and the previous game was something I actually noticed, and, for the lack of better terminology, was somewhat saddened by. Why, of all things, it was Garten of fucking Banban that left such an impression on me is completely beyond me. What, in January, started out as a mildly entertaining 20 minute slop-game, has turned into something I LEGITIMATELY look forward to.
Thank you, Euphoric Brothers, I'm sure this isn't the kind of thing you expect to see someone writing about the game you're probably working sincerely on, but know that when I say these games suck, I mean it in the most loving way I possibly can. The sheer absurdity of these games is incredible, I cannot wait for the next one.
new year new garten of banban. that was awesome!!! refunded the game
its hard to see such a beloved series go downhill like this
how the FUCK did they release this before garten of banban 5 and they already put a trailer out for 7
5 still isnt fucking out euphoric brothers are true geniuses
5 still isnt fucking out euphoric brothers are true geniuses
PURO FUEGO. Innova en gameplay, le da cierre a varios personajes e introduce otros igual de carismáticos, el flashback es impresionante y la banda sonora también es KINO.
Every single puzzle is there to waste as much time as possible and I'm not even exaggerating or being ironic
HMMMM YKNOW I WAS ACTUALLY GETTIN A LITTLE SAD BC I INCURRED A WEIRD ASS GLITCH THT MADE ME RESTART THE GAME FROM THE BEGINNING BUUUUUUUUUUUUT i actually did love the segment where you and bittergiggle are working together and really just how it can happen At All
in a way garten of banban 6 to me feels like the most Connections felt one in the series because nearly all of the dialogue culminates from the time everyone's had around each other, it reminds me of sentiments i felt with Yakuza 3 with how interactions in that and moments of passing pause, banter and small talk feel Earned
I ALSO RLLY LIKE HOW THEY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HOW DARK THE GAME CAN GET IN AMBIANCE AND USED THT FOR THIS WHOLE HUB AREA even if the drone is sometimes finicky but wht else is new its the drone lmao
I think that the most fair criticism of this one that ive seen is that its not really trying to be scary in this one and its pretty easy to avoid not dying in this chapter aside form two segments of the game. Though I actually think its Fine that this direction is taken bc thats where the narrative's shifted, by this point in the story the parent has made so many interactions with all these characters it almost feels like this net of safety is waning really thin
Dadadoo especially is actually a capable fighter and everything but his plan is crazy because i think it might deadass get chapter 7 to be the most isolating chapter since the first one oooo
It'd be far too much to recap ALL of the lore and new tidbits ive picked up on here but this was definitely a top 3 chapter takin everything into account from before
im so glad opium baby is safe
but also... im actually really taken aback by how this is the ONLY chapter in the game thus far that doesnt even have one glimpse of jumbo josh(hes visible in the murals still and even in the secret room you can see him part of the banban & friends big five buuuuuuuuuut.. YEAH.) like w o a h not even in the big revelation at the end of the chapter.
I think 4 has some rlly high points but also rlly tedious lows with some puzzles while this one felt like it had a great finale and some good series highs while having so so lows
WHO IS NANNY THOUGH
and i cant believe the surgeon got attached enough to start making his own kids, hes gotta be if not strong one of the most interesting characters in-verse when we get there
also the amount of ppl confused why this is out and not five. i get it cause like even though five is a prequel.. this noticably took longer to come out than the other chapters and in the other chapters, i never experienced any softlocking bugs/glitches
soooo....... i think smthin mighta given the dev bros trouble with this one or simply working on two chapters at the same time is taking a little toll on them
in a way garten of banban 6 to me feels like the most Connections felt one in the series because nearly all of the dialogue culminates from the time everyone's had around each other, it reminds me of sentiments i felt with Yakuza 3 with how interactions in that and moments of passing pause, banter and small talk feel Earned
I ALSO RLLY LIKE HOW THEY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HOW DARK THE GAME CAN GET IN AMBIANCE AND USED THT FOR THIS WHOLE HUB AREA even if the drone is sometimes finicky but wht else is new its the drone lmao
I think that the most fair criticism of this one that ive seen is that its not really trying to be scary in this one and its pretty easy to avoid not dying in this chapter aside form two segments of the game. Though I actually think its Fine that this direction is taken bc thats where the narrative's shifted, by this point in the story the parent has made so many interactions with all these characters it almost feels like this net of safety is waning really thin
Dadadoo especially is actually a capable fighter and everything but his plan is crazy because i think it might deadass get chapter 7 to be the most isolating chapter since the first one oooo
It'd be far too much to recap ALL of the lore and new tidbits ive picked up on here but this was definitely a top 3 chapter takin everything into account from before
im so glad opium baby is safe
but also... im actually really taken aback by how this is the ONLY chapter in the game thus far that doesnt even have one glimpse of jumbo josh(hes visible in the murals still and even in the secret room you can see him part of the banban & friends big five buuuuuuuuuut.. YEAH.) like w o a h not even in the big revelation at the end of the chapter.
I think 4 has some rlly high points but also rlly tedious lows with some puzzles while this one felt like it had a great finale and some good series highs while having so so lows
WHO IS NANNY THOUGH
and i cant believe the surgeon got attached enough to start making his own kids, hes gotta be if not strong one of the most interesting characters in-verse when we get there
also the amount of ppl confused why this is out and not five. i get it cause like even though five is a prequel.. this noticably took longer to come out than the other chapters and in the other chapters, i never experienced any softlocking bugs/glitches
soooo....... i think smthin mighta given the dev bros trouble with this one or simply working on two chapters at the same time is taking a little toll on them
this game is awesome
my life has gotten immeasurably worse ever since I completed (and refunded) this "game".
Ah vsf hgjncghvcjnvcggbcdfgv
Genuinely terrible, new level of garbage which is crazy considering what series im talking about
Los del Honkai sacaron al Doctor Ratio en 2023 porque SABÍAN que no podría ganar el premio al mejor doctor cuando Surgeon apareciera en Garten of Banban VII.