Gamers, the 1980s are over. You can put away your Patrick Swayze posters, boom boxes, and concerning amounts of cocaine. What does this new decade hold for us, will our economy grow? Will we find world piece? Will the war crimes of the west ever be put to justice? Probably not, but Nintendo is still pumping out NES games. And out of the sea of horse shit mixed in with this lineup comes one of the greatest things to come from the Japanese since the militant invasions of neighboring countries. That's right, River City Ransom is a game where you play as one of two upstanding "Japanese" students (Alex and Ryan) attempting to retrieve their stolen girlfriends from some brother named "Slick" In this side scrolling beat em up, you need to get through hordes of Japanese citizens trying to end your existence. Why? Well because Japan is an island in the middle of the ocean populated solely by sexually frustrated wage slaves. Use any random object you find in the mean river city streets and bash your enemies heads in with extreme prejudice. After you're finished decimating some inbred Island fiends, take all their money and use it to purchase prime energy to heal you after a long day of wiping out half the city. All and all, without getting into spoilers, This may stand atop the list of NES shovleware. I get outrageously horny whenever I play it, and you should pick it up if you've ever had dreams about violently assulting eastern Asians over your high school sweetheart.