If you take a look over to our right here, you can see a… peculiar individual, constantly running into this wall right here, having no clue about what they are doing, and not wanting to change course or direction to help them get out of this predicament they are in. That individual, readers, represents the state of Joe & Mac around the time that Joe & Mac 2: Lost In the Tropics was released. The game was still good, but while it had some interesting ideas that would have benefited the main gameplay to be much more fun than what we had previously, instead, it does nothing to flesh out these ideas, or even to encourage you to check them out, and thus, you are left with yet another generic prehistoric-themed platformer that comes and goes as fast as the flavor of Fruit Stripe Gum. But hey, maybe that was just a rough patch that the series went through for a second. I mean, surely, they can pick themselves up from here and benefit with another title right?............ well no, because instead, we got Joe & Mac Returns.
At first glance, this game doesn’t seem like anything all too disappointing, just another typical arcade platformer for this series, and one that would be fun enough for a couple of minutes before you move onto something else. For the most part, you would be right, as the game is a good time, featuring plenty of simple, yet fun levels to go through, pleasing visuals, and a gameplay style that is very fun to try out, especially with a buddy to play with you. However, then you notice that, when looking at footage of the game, it is literally just yet another clone of Bubble Bobble, Snow Bros., Buster Bros., or whatever game with a very similar style of gameplay, and that was about the point where I immediately stopped caring, even if the game is still decent as a whole.
The story is non-existant, as it just has Joe & Mac running through all of these different locations and beating the fuck out of everything they run across, which I like to look at not as a lack of plot, but more so just these two letting out their pent up rage and going on a murderous bonking spree, which seems very appropriate for cavemen to do. The graphics are pretty good, looking very similar to that of every other game in this series, but still having plenty of fun designs for the levels, characters, enemies, and bosses, along with animations that go with these designs, the music is alright, having some decent enough tracks to accompany what you are doing, but nothing managed to stick with me after playing, and it didn’t leave that much of an impression either way, and the gameplay/control can pretty much be summarized as “Hey, have you ever played Snow Bros.? You have? Well there ya go, just saved ya an hour of your life.”
But just in case you haven’t played that game, the game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of either Joe or Mac yet again, go through a set of seven different worlds, each with their own set of levels full of plenty of different enemies to take on, club the fuck out of said enemies so you can put them in your sack that you just so happen to be carrying around and throw them at other enemies to take them out, as well as whatever other obstacles you will run across on your journey, gather plenty of different power ups that can assist you in many different ways, and take on plenty of familiar faces for boss fights, who will challenge you to a degree, unless you are fast on the controls, in which case they all fall like a line of dominos. It does everything a game like this should, and many would probably have a good time with it if you are a big fan of those other games I mentioned earlier, even if I wasn’t able to get into it that much myself.
Before I go onto further discussing Joe & Mac’s mid-life crisis, I may as well go ahead and get all of the positives out of the way, because the game does manage to get a lot right. The main gameplay is solid enough, having the right amount of energy that a series like this should have, plenty of levels to go through to feel like a complete package, and the power ups that you get are fun to mess around with, such as the one that makes you go faster, and the wheel from the previous games, making any enemy you come across go down lickety split, which is so immensely satisfying… even if it only lasts for that level before being taken away. Not to mention there are other, smaller touches that I enjoyed seeing, such as characters from other Data East title in certain levels, how you can choose the first level you start with from the beginning, and once again, just how great the game looks, considering how the last two titles were restricted to being stuck on the Super Nintendo.
However, while all that is great and all, one question did constantly pop into my head while I was playing the game……. why does this exist? Why do we need a game like Bubble Bobble and Snow Bros., but for the Joe & Mac series? What, was it because there hadn’t been one of these games yet that was done with a caveman motif? It doesn’t do anything to expand upon the gameplay of those other titles, nor does it really give off the same satisfaction, joy, and magical feeling that those other games did, making me wonder why one would ever choose to play this game over those other titles? Granted, again, it doesn’t really do anything too bad, but it just comes off as bland and lifeless as a result, with its one and only unique trait being that it is a Joe & Mac game, which definitely isn’t enough in this case.
Not to mention, there were definitely elements about the game that I didn’t like. There were the usual issues you’d come to expect, such as a tiny bit of arcade syndrome throughout, how the game does drag on a little bit towards the end, and how it forces you to go through a boss rush for a majority of the last world, but I think the one thing that annoyed me the most more than anything else was, oddly enough, Joe & Mac’s voices. No disrespect to the voice actors who did these lines, as they did a decent enough job, but GODDAMN, they are so annoying, where you hear them let out these loud yelps and phrases all the time that just grate on your ears very quickly. The biggest example of this for me was whenever you would grab any power up found in the game, and your character would react to this by shouting “I GOT A POWER-UP!”, which made me wanna turn the volume all the way down so badly at many points, it is so annoying. Also, one more issue I wanna bring up is the cutscenes that play in-between each world, where it involves something bad happening to the cavegirls you see throughout the whole game, usually in a sexual manner, which is followed up by a sitcom-ass laugh track that plays over it…………………… yeah, kinda makes you feel uncomfortable when you watch it.
Overall, despite my own personal gripes with the game and the genuine ones that do hold it back, this is still a solid enough game, and a great return for the cavemen duo for the arcade, providing fun and satisfying gameplay, plenty of fun to be had with friends, and the amount of charm and zaniness that makes these games appealing at first glance to begin with. I would recommend it for those who were a big fan of the other Joe & Mac games, as well as those who are also fans of Bubble Bobble and Snow Bros., because if you love all of those series dearly, then this game might just be a match made in heaven for you. I just wish that I was able to like it more, and not see it as Data East fumbling around, not sure what to do with this franchise anymore. Not surprising that this would be the last game that the series would ever get for almost 30 years, before the original game got remade in 2022. I actually never played that one either, so I wonder how it is… let me take a look at it real quick…
one video later
Huh… ok then. I guess it looks decent enough for a mobile game. someone whispers something in my ear....... what do you mean it’s not a mobile game?
Game #568
At first glance, this game doesn’t seem like anything all too disappointing, just another typical arcade platformer for this series, and one that would be fun enough for a couple of minutes before you move onto something else. For the most part, you would be right, as the game is a good time, featuring plenty of simple, yet fun levels to go through, pleasing visuals, and a gameplay style that is very fun to try out, especially with a buddy to play with you. However, then you notice that, when looking at footage of the game, it is literally just yet another clone of Bubble Bobble, Snow Bros., Buster Bros., or whatever game with a very similar style of gameplay, and that was about the point where I immediately stopped caring, even if the game is still decent as a whole.
The story is non-existant, as it just has Joe & Mac running through all of these different locations and beating the fuck out of everything they run across, which I like to look at not as a lack of plot, but more so just these two letting out their pent up rage and going on a murderous bonking spree, which seems very appropriate for cavemen to do. The graphics are pretty good, looking very similar to that of every other game in this series, but still having plenty of fun designs for the levels, characters, enemies, and bosses, along with animations that go with these designs, the music is alright, having some decent enough tracks to accompany what you are doing, but nothing managed to stick with me after playing, and it didn’t leave that much of an impression either way, and the gameplay/control can pretty much be summarized as “Hey, have you ever played Snow Bros.? You have? Well there ya go, just saved ya an hour of your life.”
But just in case you haven’t played that game, the game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of either Joe or Mac yet again, go through a set of seven different worlds, each with their own set of levels full of plenty of different enemies to take on, club the fuck out of said enemies so you can put them in your sack that you just so happen to be carrying around and throw them at other enemies to take them out, as well as whatever other obstacles you will run across on your journey, gather plenty of different power ups that can assist you in many different ways, and take on plenty of familiar faces for boss fights, who will challenge you to a degree, unless you are fast on the controls, in which case they all fall like a line of dominos. It does everything a game like this should, and many would probably have a good time with it if you are a big fan of those other games I mentioned earlier, even if I wasn’t able to get into it that much myself.
Before I go onto further discussing Joe & Mac’s mid-life crisis, I may as well go ahead and get all of the positives out of the way, because the game does manage to get a lot right. The main gameplay is solid enough, having the right amount of energy that a series like this should have, plenty of levels to go through to feel like a complete package, and the power ups that you get are fun to mess around with, such as the one that makes you go faster, and the wheel from the previous games, making any enemy you come across go down lickety split, which is so immensely satisfying… even if it only lasts for that level before being taken away. Not to mention there are other, smaller touches that I enjoyed seeing, such as characters from other Data East title in certain levels, how you can choose the first level you start with from the beginning, and once again, just how great the game looks, considering how the last two titles were restricted to being stuck on the Super Nintendo.
However, while all that is great and all, one question did constantly pop into my head while I was playing the game……. why does this exist? Why do we need a game like Bubble Bobble and Snow Bros., but for the Joe & Mac series? What, was it because there hadn’t been one of these games yet that was done with a caveman motif? It doesn’t do anything to expand upon the gameplay of those other titles, nor does it really give off the same satisfaction, joy, and magical feeling that those other games did, making me wonder why one would ever choose to play this game over those other titles? Granted, again, it doesn’t really do anything too bad, but it just comes off as bland and lifeless as a result, with its one and only unique trait being that it is a Joe & Mac game, which definitely isn’t enough in this case.
Not to mention, there were definitely elements about the game that I didn’t like. There were the usual issues you’d come to expect, such as a tiny bit of arcade syndrome throughout, how the game does drag on a little bit towards the end, and how it forces you to go through a boss rush for a majority of the last world, but I think the one thing that annoyed me the most more than anything else was, oddly enough, Joe & Mac’s voices. No disrespect to the voice actors who did these lines, as they did a decent enough job, but GODDAMN, they are so annoying, where you hear them let out these loud yelps and phrases all the time that just grate on your ears very quickly. The biggest example of this for me was whenever you would grab any power up found in the game, and your character would react to this by shouting “I GOT A POWER-UP!”, which made me wanna turn the volume all the way down so badly at many points, it is so annoying. Also, one more issue I wanna bring up is the cutscenes that play in-between each world, where it involves something bad happening to the cavegirls you see throughout the whole game, usually in a sexual manner, which is followed up by a sitcom-ass laugh track that plays over it…………………… yeah, kinda makes you feel uncomfortable when you watch it.
Overall, despite my own personal gripes with the game and the genuine ones that do hold it back, this is still a solid enough game, and a great return for the cavemen duo for the arcade, providing fun and satisfying gameplay, plenty of fun to be had with friends, and the amount of charm and zaniness that makes these games appealing at first glance to begin with. I would recommend it for those who were a big fan of the other Joe & Mac games, as well as those who are also fans of Bubble Bobble and Snow Bros., because if you love all of those series dearly, then this game might just be a match made in heaven for you. I just wish that I was able to like it more, and not see it as Data East fumbling around, not sure what to do with this franchise anymore. Not surprising that this would be the last game that the series would ever get for almost 30 years, before the original game got remade in 2022. I actually never played that one either, so I wonder how it is… let me take a look at it real quick…
one video later
Huh… ok then. I guess it looks decent enough for a mobile game. someone whispers something in my ear....... what do you mean it’s not a mobile game?
Game #568