Yeah, uh... So, this kind of sucks. It's a very flat metroidvania with dull level design, that somehow manages to be confusing even though it's very barebones and basic, and even worse combat, in everything from how attacking feels (and the fact that there simply is no dodging at all) to how enemies are placed or react to your attacks. Clunky, unsmooth controls for both movement and combat. Glitches galore! The first time I entered the "hall of hotties" that show you statues of the contestants, and which is supposed to be the grand introduction to the game's cast of characters, it was completely empty. When I reloaded, the statues loaded but the game's sound had broken and only a few sound effects played at extremely low volume. When I rebooted after that, the statues were back to gone but at least the sound came back. Game is pretty unresponsive too - every time I opened the menu, I had to press the start button like 5 times for it to exit and similar things happened with other controls a few times.
The dating side doesn't really seem any better, even though I've only had a taste of it in a few hours of play. In that time, I've met five contestants and booted one. I kicked out the airhead incubus since we get to know nothing about him other than that he's a manwhore and a moron, since at that point I had really only been given the option to ask them a few basic questions before it was time to move on. The other contestants were Medusa and a genie, which I actually didn't mind and they both seemed like kind of fun characters with kind of hot artwork, but then the final character I met was a scarecrow with giant pumpkin tits. That's supposed to be funny, I guess? Okay. If that comment didn't make it obvious, the humor in the writing isn't really landing for me either. Maybe because I really don't watch reality TV whatsoever, so maybe the hilarity is lost on me.
Yeah... Just wack platforming and combat action. Jokes that aren't making me smile. Shallow dating sim. There isn't much here I like and, after a few hours, I'm going to decide that this was money poorly spent and that I do not recommend this game to any metroidvania veterans looking for something different. This one might land if you're not very experienced with the genre, but are quite experienced with dating shows. Then it might be the right game for you, but since I'm the opposite, it's about as far as you can get from a game for me. The game isn't unplayably terrible, and I do believe the right person could enjoy themselves, but it doesn't really do anything well either, and the part the I came for, the metroidvania bit, is the worst the game has to offer, even some of the worst the entire genre has to offer.
Oh, I forgot... They made a metroidvania with no map. According to Steam patch notes, they realized their mistake and added one in on PC, but there is no mention of it in the PS5 controls and no button brings up a map, so I guess console just never got it. Speaking of the map, it doesn't really follow metroidvania rules either, as areas will be blocked off both by ability-gating and the game just saying "nuh uh, this will open later" with no real ability needed, just story progress, and they have platforms just appear without really telling you that they did and such, with an overall messy progression structure, instead of having a nice and clear "you need the double jump here" type structure.
It really is too bad, because the gaming landscape is really missing adult games that aren't actually childish, and sexy and sexual games that aren't pornographic. I will give this game that; it manages to not really be childish (I'd categorize the humor as more tryhard cringe than childish), and the sexiness does strike a nice balance of being sexy without being straight up hentai. Like it's kind of hot the genie's thong is sticking out of her slipping pants, without being overly crass or nasty. I just wish this mildly raunchy but not dirty adult entertainment was ever in an actually good game for once. Was hoping this one might be it, but it's just really not.
The dating side doesn't really seem any better, even though I've only had a taste of it in a few hours of play. In that time, I've met five contestants and booted one. I kicked out the airhead incubus since we get to know nothing about him other than that he's a manwhore and a moron, since at that point I had really only been given the option to ask them a few basic questions before it was time to move on. The other contestants were Medusa and a genie, which I actually didn't mind and they both seemed like kind of fun characters with kind of hot artwork, but then the final character I met was a scarecrow with giant pumpkin tits. That's supposed to be funny, I guess? Okay. If that comment didn't make it obvious, the humor in the writing isn't really landing for me either. Maybe because I really don't watch reality TV whatsoever, so maybe the hilarity is lost on me.
Yeah... Just wack platforming and combat action. Jokes that aren't making me smile. Shallow dating sim. There isn't much here I like and, after a few hours, I'm going to decide that this was money poorly spent and that I do not recommend this game to any metroidvania veterans looking for something different. This one might land if you're not very experienced with the genre, but are quite experienced with dating shows. Then it might be the right game for you, but since I'm the opposite, it's about as far as you can get from a game for me. The game isn't unplayably terrible, and I do believe the right person could enjoy themselves, but it doesn't really do anything well either, and the part the I came for, the metroidvania bit, is the worst the game has to offer, even some of the worst the entire genre has to offer.
Oh, I forgot... They made a metroidvania with no map. According to Steam patch notes, they realized their mistake and added one in on PC, but there is no mention of it in the PS5 controls and no button brings up a map, so I guess console just never got it. Speaking of the map, it doesn't really follow metroidvania rules either, as areas will be blocked off both by ability-gating and the game just saying "nuh uh, this will open later" with no real ability needed, just story progress, and they have platforms just appear without really telling you that they did and such, with an overall messy progression structure, instead of having a nice and clear "you need the double jump here" type structure.
It really is too bad, because the gaming landscape is really missing adult games that aren't actually childish, and sexy and sexual games that aren't pornographic. I will give this game that; it manages to not really be childish (I'd categorize the humor as more tryhard cringe than childish), and the sexiness does strike a nice balance of being sexy without being straight up hentai. Like it's kind of hot the genie's thong is sticking out of her slipping pants, without being overly crass or nasty. I just wish this mildly raunchy but not dirty adult entertainment was ever in an actually good game for once. Was hoping this one might be it, but it's just really not.
One of the bosses made me laugh out loud but then soon after I got soft locked and lost an hour of progress
SPOILERS if you care about spoilers for this but when you first meet the unicorn and go to the candy land area you can get stuck between falling blow pops
I really should have saved before heading back into the tavern but lol this ruined my night and made me binge on jelly beans and cheap tv dinners irl so there’s that
SPOILERS if you care about spoilers for this but when you first meet the unicorn and go to the candy land area you can get stuck between falling blow pops
I really should have saved before heading back into the tavern but lol this ruined my night and made me binge on jelly beans and cheap tv dinners irl so there’s that