"Owowowowww, the game hurts my hands!" Has it dribbled anywhere in-between your simpering pauper neurons that maybe your hands are simply not powerful enough for Kid Icarus: Uprising?

In all seriousness, the controls are rough. That's the only negative point against a game that takes the on-rails shooter to new heights. It uses the genre's fixed timing and perspective to launch you through environments with all the flair and chaos of a theme park ride. The game is stuffed with priceless dialog and is overall just a pitch-perfect reinvention of Kid Icarus. It's a real shame there's been no port or follow-up to speak of.