Nihon Falcom's JRPG The Legend of Heroes: Kuro no Kiseki was unequivocal, undeniable proof that mankind as a collective species has triumphed over God. It is a literary masterpiece with no flaws whatsoever. I would have five hours of sweaty, rigorous sex with the protagonist Van Arkride. I would raise one hundred billion dollars and hand-deliver it to the palms of his hands, all while licking his balls. If he were to get an incurable disease I would singlehandedly develop a cure for it and use it only on him. I would reanimate the corpse of one of his beloved dead relatives. All of this wouldn't even begin to show my love for him for his part in creating this Michelangelo-level piece of art.

I have played Kuro over 50 times. I know every line and scene down to the last detail. If I was asked to reenact the entire 100 hour long journey I could do it with flawless detail and precision. Once my physical version of Kuro no Kiseki arrives I will have sex with it. You cannot stop me.