I never had the "pleasure" of playing GTAV in its prime back in 2013/2014. I eventually got to play it a bit on my Xbox 360 for a bit but the loading times and the torture mission completely put me off of it as a 13/14 year old. Years later after it was given away for free on Epic, I finally started a new playthrough without having played any other Rockstar game except Max Payne 3, so my judgment on the game isn't clouded by its predecessors.
The 2013 cynicism that fills this game is one of the most poorly aged facets of the overall experience. Nearly every single character in the game hates the world and everyone in it which makes meeting new characters completely uninteresting. On the other hand this makes the few positive or opportunistic characters a breath of fresh air, like the old couple Trevor meets, the daredevil Franklin hangs out with, Solomon the movie director, and Franklin himself. Other than when those characters are present, it feels like most dialog exchanges are simply characters espousing how much the world sucks and how everyone in it should die, them included. The trope is so played out at this point that it makes the main plot nearly unbearable to me. Characters in the side content are overall more bearable due to their eccentricities but they have another issue going for them.
Most of the content in this game just involves you driving for several minutes to sit and watch a cutscene for a few more minutes, to then drive for a few more minutes until something might happen, or maybe you'll just end up seeing another cutscene and driving some more. This is the one reservation I have towards the side content, as the lengthy drives combined with lack of rewards don't make going out of your way to do them fulfilling. I didn't find any of the minigames particularly enjoyable either which I feel is mildly inexcusable due to other contemporaries such as the Yakuza series having such engaging side content despite their tiny budget when compared to GTAV. There is one thing this game does quite well though.
The sandbox that is the open world has some of the highest potential for chaos and comedy. This is where the 1.5 stars for my rating comes from. I have had such a good time just causing chaos while driving around, my personal favorite thing to do being hitting motorcyclists as fast as I can. Just being able to cause mayhem at a moment's notice is one of GTAV's biggest strengths. Honestly I don't really have anything to say about this facet other than it's just fun compared to everything else in the game.
It feels odd to not have enjoyed the second highest selling game of all time. You'd think it'd be near flawless with the fact it's still making as much profit for Rockstar as it is, but when it comes to the singleplayer content there's very little I can give praise toward. Maybe there's something about the multiplayer that makes up for the missing 3.5 stars in my rating but I feel I'm about eight years too late to play it and I'm not willing to drop the real world money required to get fully invested into the game. I'm glad I played this game though, as an adult it's interesting to me since it's a time capsule of 2013 culture in terms of how vapid and worthless celebrity culture and media could be. I can't recommend it if you're looking for an interesting story or fun characters due to both being simplistic and cynical, but if you just wanna smack a car going 110MPH into an innocent person on a moped, I can't think of many better options.
The 2013 cynicism that fills this game is one of the most poorly aged facets of the overall experience. Nearly every single character in the game hates the world and everyone in it which makes meeting new characters completely uninteresting. On the other hand this makes the few positive or opportunistic characters a breath of fresh air, like the old couple Trevor meets, the daredevil Franklin hangs out with, Solomon the movie director, and Franklin himself. Other than when those characters are present, it feels like most dialog exchanges are simply characters espousing how much the world sucks and how everyone in it should die, them included. The trope is so played out at this point that it makes the main plot nearly unbearable to me. Characters in the side content are overall more bearable due to their eccentricities but they have another issue going for them.
Most of the content in this game just involves you driving for several minutes to sit and watch a cutscene for a few more minutes, to then drive for a few more minutes until something might happen, or maybe you'll just end up seeing another cutscene and driving some more. This is the one reservation I have towards the side content, as the lengthy drives combined with lack of rewards don't make going out of your way to do them fulfilling. I didn't find any of the minigames particularly enjoyable either which I feel is mildly inexcusable due to other contemporaries such as the Yakuza series having such engaging side content despite their tiny budget when compared to GTAV. There is one thing this game does quite well though.
The sandbox that is the open world has some of the highest potential for chaos and comedy. This is where the 1.5 stars for my rating comes from. I have had such a good time just causing chaos while driving around, my personal favorite thing to do being hitting motorcyclists as fast as I can. Just being able to cause mayhem at a moment's notice is one of GTAV's biggest strengths. Honestly I don't really have anything to say about this facet other than it's just fun compared to everything else in the game.
It feels odd to not have enjoyed the second highest selling game of all time. You'd think it'd be near flawless with the fact it's still making as much profit for Rockstar as it is, but when it comes to the singleplayer content there's very little I can give praise toward. Maybe there's something about the multiplayer that makes up for the missing 3.5 stars in my rating but I feel I'm about eight years too late to play it and I'm not willing to drop the real world money required to get fully invested into the game. I'm glad I played this game though, as an adult it's interesting to me since it's a time capsule of 2013 culture in terms of how vapid and worthless celebrity culture and media could be. I can't recommend it if you're looking for an interesting story or fun characters due to both being simplistic and cynical, but if you just wanna smack a car going 110MPH into an innocent person on a moped, I can't think of many better options.
3 Comments
I can give 5 props for being the first GTA game that does not control like a giraffe with cinder blocks tied to its hooves but that's where my praise ends.
Good review. The bit about dated 2013 commentary admittedly left me perplexed for a while when you said it as it’s not a side of the game I gave any particular deep thought for as it’s also not something I’m completely familiar with as I don’t quite know what 2013 was really like at the time nor do I posses such knowledge. I mostly saw this game as a fun TV Show to play through kinda like The Sopranos. But upon closer inspection, I do recall aspects of V’s subtext feeling a bit shallow and needing a little more nuance beyond some of the thematic narrative the game has, which is one of the aspects I enjoy most. I enjoy the relationship and characters and how they develop.
The driving criticism is something I actually agree with, and think these games don’t really need as much driving as they generally have. It’s actually possible to skip certain driving sections in GTA IV by using the taxi, assuming you’re not with 3 people and you’re not using a mandatory vehicle. It was quite fun finding out all the little ways to make shortcuts in missions. That said, the map’s smaller size in certain GTAs does justify the amount of driving alongside the interesting shortcuts you can find.
I saw some people on discord saying you might not enjoy the other GTAs as much based on your feedback towards this or the complete opposite saying you’ll love the other ones since “GTA V is the worst”, I however don’t believe either statement is completely accurate. As not only does your criticism still somewhat apply to the other games, albeit less prominently, but I just straight up think it’s far better to go into the others with an open mind and make your own judgment. I think GTA IV is a decent next entry. After that, probably Vice City.
As someone who 100%s these games regularly, I would rank V in my top 3 (maybe 4 since I also quite enjoy III) so I can give a decent overview of what to expect from the story/missions in the other games. Some stuff will apply to most games so I’ll try not to repeat myself too much.
GTA III and Vice City are far shorter and are games generally inspired by classic crime movies such as Scarface and Good Fellas. Ray Liotta voices the protagonist of Vice City and that game heavily takes cues from Scarface. Even the Scarface ost has made it into the GTA III radio. It’s important to point this stuff out because the cutscenes all feel like they’re straight out of classic crime dramas so the games play a general homage to them rather than trying to construct a narrative. So the story can feel pretty disconnected but you’ll still appreciate it if you recognize some of the talent.
Although I will say, GTA IV could be up your alley if you really disliked the hyper cynical characters as the characters in that game aren’t nearly as negative and more often than not, it’s to be sarcastic or as a reaction to current events. In fact a lot of characters often rant almost exclusively as a reaction to something shitty that just happened but still try to find the good In things. One character is even seen as too optimistic lol.
Unfortunately I can’t comment on how good the 2008 commentary is in GTA IV but I heard lots of people enjoying it. I find certain aspects a bit shallow because it’s difficult to comment meaningfully on issues like immigration beyond surface level stuff however for what its worth, it does have one of the funniest foreigner protags so that’s one thing it gets right.
San Andreas is the one I left out because I think it could have all your GTA V gripes in full force. Dated 1992 commentary, basic social commentary about racism, drugs, police brutality, gang violence, etc, insanely angry and hyper negative characters, very little payoff for taking down some villains and one of your siblings literally shouts at you after you get him out of prison and gets mad at you for leaving “the hood”. I myself have really disliked how boring and shallow a lot of its story, characters and commentary is and don’t enjoy them as most other people do. CJ, Caeser and Big Smoke are fine. Some one-off characters are also cool but everyone else is such a big fucking asshole I cannot stand them. It’s one of the reasons San Andreas remained my least favorite gta for a while. I don’t hate it, but I cannot fully get behind the characters. So many of them are insufferable especially Lois. Coincidentally enough, Meepy seems to find this the least fun GTA as well. Not bad, but the others are better.
The driving criticism is something I actually agree with, and think these games don’t really need as much driving as they generally have. It’s actually possible to skip certain driving sections in GTA IV by using the taxi, assuming you’re not with 3 people and you’re not using a mandatory vehicle. It was quite fun finding out all the little ways to make shortcuts in missions. That said, the map’s smaller size in certain GTAs does justify the amount of driving alongside the interesting shortcuts you can find.
I saw some people on discord saying you might not enjoy the other GTAs as much based on your feedback towards this or the complete opposite saying you’ll love the other ones since “GTA V is the worst”, I however don’t believe either statement is completely accurate. As not only does your criticism still somewhat apply to the other games, albeit less prominently, but I just straight up think it’s far better to go into the others with an open mind and make your own judgment. I think GTA IV is a decent next entry. After that, probably Vice City.
As someone who 100%s these games regularly, I would rank V in my top 3 (maybe 4 since I also quite enjoy III) so I can give a decent overview of what to expect from the story/missions in the other games. Some stuff will apply to most games so I’ll try not to repeat myself too much.
GTA III and Vice City are far shorter and are games generally inspired by classic crime movies such as Scarface and Good Fellas. Ray Liotta voices the protagonist of Vice City and that game heavily takes cues from Scarface. Even the Scarface ost has made it into the GTA III radio. It’s important to point this stuff out because the cutscenes all feel like they’re straight out of classic crime dramas so the games play a general homage to them rather than trying to construct a narrative. So the story can feel pretty disconnected but you’ll still appreciate it if you recognize some of the talent.
Although I will say, GTA IV could be up your alley if you really disliked the hyper cynical characters as the characters in that game aren’t nearly as negative and more often than not, it’s to be sarcastic or as a reaction to current events. In fact a lot of characters often rant almost exclusively as a reaction to something shitty that just happened but still try to find the good In things. One character is even seen as too optimistic lol.
Unfortunately I can’t comment on how good the 2008 commentary is in GTA IV but I heard lots of people enjoying it. I find certain aspects a bit shallow because it’s difficult to comment meaningfully on issues like immigration beyond surface level stuff however for what its worth, it does have one of the funniest foreigner protags so that’s one thing it gets right.
San Andreas is the one I left out because I think it could have all your GTA V gripes in full force. Dated 1992 commentary, basic social commentary about racism, drugs, police brutality, gang violence, etc, insanely angry and hyper negative characters, very little payoff for taking down some villains and one of your siblings literally shouts at you after you get him out of prison and gets mad at you for leaving “the hood”. I myself have really disliked how boring and shallow a lot of its story, characters and commentary is and don’t enjoy them as most other people do. CJ, Caeser and Big Smoke are fine. Some one-off characters are also cool but everyone else is such a big fucking asshole I cannot stand them. It’s one of the reasons San Andreas remained my least favorite gta for a while. I don’t hate it, but I cannot fully get behind the characters. So many of them are insufferable especially Lois. Coincidentally enough, Meepy seems to find this the least fun GTA as well. Not bad, but the others are better.
Bizarre_JoJoke
1 year ago